Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Nov28

Christmas Wish Lists

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For the love of all that is holy, I had no idea how long the “30 Days of Thanks” thing would feel 28 days into it.  Can we all agree that I’m very thankful for my husband/kids/family/warm house/working body/chocolate and move on? Because I am and I want to.

Now, let’s talk about material things. Specifically, Christmas Lists.

Does your family do Christmas lists? My family lives and dies by them and since some of my family actually plans ahead, I’ve been told I need to come up with lists for me and the kids pronto. The problem for me is that I’m 34 and typically just buy what we need throughout the year. My mother, bless her, hates giving gift cards or money, so I still need to come up with something.  Somehow, I doubt new bath towels are going to be something she’s thrilled about buying.  So tell me- what are you asking for?

As for the kiddos- what’s hot for 6 year old boys that isn’t lego related? And what about gifts for a 4 year old girl who isn’t into princesses, Barbies or baby dolls? The girl is like McGyver- give her 3 Dixie cups, 1 marker, 5 pieces of paper and a pair of scissors and she’s happy for hours.

I’m all ears- hit me with your best ideas!

 

Nov27

30 Days of Thanks: The Flash

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Ever since Scorch was a wee baby, he sucked at sleeping. And now that Scorch is a big kid, he still sucks at sleeping. He’s programmed to wake up at 6 am, so 99% of the time- regardless of how late he went to bed- he’s up at the crack of dawn.  That I can deal with.

What I struggle with is all his issues falling asleep. It’s all tied into his anxiety and it doesn’t make any sense to me at all- but we do try to roll with it. For a good 6 months we had to sit on his floor while he fell asleep but gradually we started moving further and further away- first to his doorway, then to the hallway, then to my doorway where he could still see me, then I could be fully in my room where he didn’t need to see me.  I was hoping that soon I could actually be in other areas of the house and not be held captive until he fell asleep.

Well, about 2 weeks ago his anxiety really started to crank up so we’ve regressed to sitting in my doorway where he can see me while he falls asleep. It’s maddening– but it’s something we have to deal with. The rule is when you go to bed, you have to lay there with your eyes and mouth shut for 5 minutes. You are only allowed to get up during those 5 minutes if you’re 1) bleeding, 2) going to puke or 3)  have a broken bone.

Tonight, Scorch wasn’t following those rules at all and my temper was thisclose to exploding as he darted out of bed time and time again. This last time was different though- he got out of bed and streaked down the hall. When he streaked back into his bed again without stopping to pester me, I got up to investigate.

Dude- what are you doing?

Wait- you saw me?!

Yup- you ran right past my room.

Aww man! I joined the running team at school and I figured that I was so fast that you wouldn’t be able to see me. Since I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to test it out.

*sigh* It’s very, very hard to be mad at a kid who thinks he’s got superhero speed, no matter how many times he gets out of bed.

Nov25

30 Days of Thanks: Cousins

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“Hey- what’s your favorite kind of fart?”

“Favorite kind? What do you mean?”

“Like loud ones, stinky ones, quiet ones?”

:Oh man- I like ’em all.”

– actually conversation overheard between Scorch and his cousin this weekend.

~*~*~*~*~

I have 9 first cousins- and growing up, none of them lived more then an hour away. We got together for every holiday, birthday and random event you can think of.   My kids have 3 cousins- and the closest one lives 6 hours away. Not quite the same upbringing I had, huh?

Thanksgiving is a big deal on the Hubs side of the family because (most of the time) it’s the one time of year my mother-in-law gets all 3 of her sons and their families together for a holiday. This year my youngest brother-in-law and his wife couldn’t make it (you were missed!) but my older brother-in-law made the 16 hour trip with his boys. Fric is 8 and Frack is 7 (he’s 6 months older then Scorch). We only see the boys 2-3 times a year, so I hold my breath every time we see them. Will the kids still get along? Will they be shy with each other? Will they take forever to warm up with each other?

And, once again, I worried for nothing. I don’t think my kids let their cousins even take off their jacket before they were all over them, asking them to play, wanting to show them their tricks and asking them all sorts of question. And the Fric and Frack gave it back just as good as they get it- and it’s awesome because the kids don’t need us for any reason except as referees.

What wasn’t so awesome were the farting contests and the arguments over who won them, the stinky smell of sneakers, and the rivers of sweat from some crazy games of wall ball- but those are small prices to pay for 3 days of pure fun with some of our favorite people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nov19

30 Days of Thanks: Little Things

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I feel like last year my 30 Days of Thanks posts were a lot more serious- the kids, my niece, friends, parents, in-laws. I covered all my bases. And clearly this year I’m still thankful for all those things- but it’s the little things that are capturing me the most this year. Tonight was full of those little things that all equal up to a perfect night:

> Scorch is learning basic addition and subtraction, so tonight’s car ride was full of me calling out equations for him. That’s all good and well, but the best part was when the Bean would randomly yell out numbers that, more often or not, were correct. I know she was just calling out random numbers, but every time she got a question right, we all laughed like loons.

> The kiddos and I had dinner out tonight after a crazy evening of running around. They were perfectly well behaved, ate well and kept 95% of their conversation appropriate for public places (meaning: they kept their poop jokes to a minimum).  That’s a win in my book.

> I still have 76 Christmas cards to write out- that fact is really, really depressing. But the fact that I have 100+ people to send cards to makes my heart happy. I tried to cut down on the list this year, but I just couldn’t.  We are a very lucky family.

> Christmas carols. Yes, I know it’s early. Yes, I know I’m supposed to be disdainful of all this holiday cheer in November. But damn it, I’m hooked. It’s all we listen to now and I’m so in the holiday mood now.

> I have one more work day and then I’m off until next week. I love my job, but I love my vacation time even more.

 

Nov17

30 Days of Thanks: Good Tunes

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I was struggling last summer to come up with birthday gift ideas for myself. I mean, I need new towels and would love a Dyson, but that’s not fun at all. So I told the Hubs that I wanted an experience- a trip, a concert, lessons, something like that. I didn’t need another piece of jewelry or a shirt- I wanted to do something.  And my husband, bless him, delivered in a big way.

Last night we saw the Zac Brown Band play- and it was amazing.

Cell phone pic from the concert.

Now, concerts aren’t the Hub’s thing at all. It’s crowed, parking is a bitch, there are loud people everywhere and half of them are drunk, the beers are at least $7 and when we leave, your ears ring for hours.  But I love concerts- the energy, the vibe, making friends with the people around you, the dancing and the really, really bad sing alongs. Love ’em- and I haven’t been going to nearly enough of them lately. Before the kids were born I hit a bunch of shows- Jimmy Buffett, Bruce Springsteen, Blues Travelers, Big & Rich, Garth Brooks, Billy Joel and on and on- but since we had the kids we’ve basically stopped going and last night’s show proved to me that we have to fix that, pronto.

ZBB puts on a hell of show- they play their best songs along with a bunch of cover songs (The Joker by Steve Miller Band was my favorite) and everyone just ate it up.  Zac himself was awesome both on vocals and on guitar, and he was backed by true musicians that were just as much fun to watch and listen to.  I could have watched his fiddle player play for 2 hours by himself he was that good.  Even the opening act was fantastic- I have absolutely no complaints about the show from beginning to end.

So tonight, I’m very thankful for great music that fills my soul and for a husband that sucks it up so I can enjoy an amazing night!

 

Nov14

30 Days of Thanks: Expanding our Vocabulary

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Ever since the kids were little, we’ve had random conversations here and there about good touch/ bad touch and why no one should ever touch your private areas. But we never had a long detailed discussion about the topic until last night. I don’t even remember how we got on the subject, but one minute we’re saying our prayers before bed and the next the kids and I are discussing how adults can go to jail for touching children inappropriately.

Fun times, those discussions.

When we were wrapping things up, we were talking about various body parts and I said the word “nipple.” Evidently, Bean had never heard this word before and she thought it was hilarious. The child laughed so hard she cried as she repeated it to herself over and over- it was the kind of laugh that got Scorch and I going right along with her even though we had no idea what was so funny about it.

This morning on the way to school, Scorch was being a turd to Bean- provoking her until she finally snapped and told him she wasn’t going to talk him anymore the rest of the day.  Scorch thought about this for a minute, looked right at her and just said “nipples.”  Before he could even get the whole word out, Beaner was giggling and all was well again.

Today I’m thankful for kids who know how to push each others buttons- for better or for worse!

Nov13

30 Days of Thanks: The Eyes Have It

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My daughter looks like a demon right now.

On Saturday, her right eye was a little pink. I thought she irritated it, so I didn’t pay much attention until until Sunday morning when I gasped the first time I saw her the day. Clearly, the child skipped right over pink eye and landed squarely on red, demon eyes (yes, plural). It reminds me a little bit of my college years when a friend got so sick from a night of drinking that she popped the blood vessels in her eye from all the vomiting she did.  Needless to say, we were at the walk-in at 8 am on Sunday morning for a prescription to clear her eyes up.

57 hours later, and I’m still waiting for her eyes to clear up.  They don’t seem to bother her at all, but they are still really, really gross to look at. And, she passed her germs on to me. Fun times.

All that said, today I’m thankful that of all the illnesses that could have hit my house, all we are dealing with are colds and pink eye. I’ll take either one of those any day over 99% of the illnesses out there.

Nov11

30 Days of Thanks: Friends

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Six weeks ago, I got to spend a day with some of my oldest friends. Last week, I got to have lunch with my college roommate. Yesterday, I got to spend part of an afternoon laughing with some of my favorite women. Tomorrow, I get to spend an evening with some of my dearest friends.

I am so very lucky.

When the Bean talks about her friends (both boys and girls) she tells me a lot how one person is mad at another person for playing with a 3rd person. I hear her and her friends saying to each other “I’m not your friend anymore.”  I get that it’s completely age appropriate and that this giving and taking away of friendships will settle down, as it has for Scorch, but every time I hear those words come out of her mouth, I want to point to all the amazing women that line my life and tell her- see, see what friendship is really about?

It’s about being able to laugh with friends that you’ve had for 26 years- friends that loved you during your bad perm years, who snuck out of houses with you all while terrified of getting caught, who know your family and all your secrets and love you for them and despite them.  It’s about being able to pick up where you left off with an old friend, but instead of complaining about professors, you’re complaining about pediatricians and finding that balance between work and family. It’s about having a group of women who you see at every practice and game, at school drop off and randomly at the park that have your back, mother your kids when you’re not around and keep you sane by reminding you that it’s just a phase.

I want so very much for my kids- more then I could ever list. But if I did write that list, the joy of friendship would be near the very top. I hope that my daughter surrounds herself in crazy strong women who lift her up, make her laugh and always, always wants what is best for her- just like I have.

Nov6

30 Days of Thanks: A List

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After 5 minutes of sitting here, thinking about what I want to be thankful for, I still can’t pick one. So I’m going to share them all.

-> Obviously democracy and our ability to vote- along with the sweet, elderly poll workers who made such a fuss over the kids tonight as we waited in line. Such a great fuss, in fact, that the Bean cried when she realized we could only vote once.

-> I’m thankful for kids who think breakfast for dinner is the best thing ever and don’t realize that eggs and pancakes = a mommy who didn’t plan ahead.

-> Scorch and I had a morning where he wasn’t happy and I wasn’t happy with him. While I think I handled things as well as I could have, I was still beating myself up while he was at school for not having all the answers for my kid and not being able to make all his worries disappear. Hearing Scorch say during prayers tonight that he was thankful that God gave him the best Mom in the world made me so very thankful for the resilience of youth.

-> I was so thankful to see the sun out today. It had been 11 days- ELEVEN DAYS, PEOPLE- since we saw the sun. Even though it was only 38 degrees out, I wanted to take a blanket outside and lay on it to soak up the rays.

-> I’m thankful that it’s 7:52 pm and both my kids are asleep, leaving the Hubs and I all night to obsess over the election results without having to answer a million questions from the kids.

Nov5

30 Days of Thanks: Community

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I’m sure I’ve told this story before, but when the Hub’s job transferred us back to NY and we were trying to figure out where to live, he suggested our current town. I believe my response was something akin to “Who the hell wants to live there?!”  “There,” of course, being where we’ve lived for the past 10 years- a small college town without a mall or even a Starbucks.  To say that I was a little underwhelmed when we moved here would be an understatement.

But a decade later and this is Home. This is the place where it’s impossible to run to the grocery store without seeing at least one person you know. Where the kids sporting events are also social events for the Hubs and me as we catch up with friends and get to know classmates parents betters. A place where I look forward to monthly PTA meetings (yes, really!) to try to figure out how to give back to the school.

It’s not easy making a life in a new place as an adult- a place where you don’t know anyone.  Where we live now isn’t a utopia, but it’s become Home. It’s a place I’m invested in as it’s the place my kids will grow up in. Sure, it may have snowed here for the past 3 days (*sob*)- but it’s still a place I’m so thankful to have found.