My dearest Bean-
You turned 15 this month. You remarked earlier this week that I hadn’t written your post yet and, obviously, you’re completely right. I worry that you think I don’t write your posts in a timely manner because I don’t care as much or you’re not a priority. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is every birthday with you is my last first- this is the last time any child of mine will turn 15. With your brother, milestones are somewhat easier to deal with because I can relive them with you two years later. But with you, my darling child- you’re it.
And that’s how it should be. After all, you’re the final piece that tied our family together from the minute you were born. And now you’re 15 and I’m spending a lot of time wondering where the time went. Did we give you a good childhood? Do you know how loved you are? Did we have enough fun? Make enough memories? Scar you for life? You’re the only one with those answers but I’m hoping we did okay.
14 was a great year for you! You did so well your freshman year of high school- you took a ton of challenging courses, had to navigate new social situations, went to some fancy dances, and kept your BFFs by your side through it all. You complained, you grumbled, you begged to be homeschooled a few times – but through it all, I think you had a good year! People aren’t your thing so school is challenging- your batteries are *drained* when you get home, my little introvert- but you still came home with more good stories than complaints, so I’m calling it a win.
You continue to be the most unapologetically “you” person that I know. Your sense of self is a marvel and while it can be super annoying that you don’t budge or bend easily- I admire you so much. You are who you are, you like who you are, and to heck with anyone who doesn’t like it. I hope you always stay true to yourself because you’re amazing. You’re funny, smart, and witty with *the* best timed sarcastic comments. I liken your brother to a golden retriever – but you, my child, are a cat. Slinky, a little shy, always on alert and only welcoming to affection on your terms.
So- now you’re 15. You’re going into 10th grade- and you need to stop panicking about what you’re doing with the rest of your life. Because, girl, I’m 45 and still figuring that out. However your life plays out, it’s going to be awesome- you wouldn’t settle for anything less. Here’s what I wish for you this next year:
– Hang on to your best friends with both hands. L & A are the absolute best and I cannot wait for the 3 of you to visit me in my nursing home when I’m 90 and you’re 60 and watch you three still cackling together like loons.
– Make room for new people too. Open yourself up just a hair to the people around you- I promise you they all aren’t annoying. 😉
– Keep your options open. Yes, I know marrying a rich old guy sounds like a sound long-term plan, but keep exploring what interests you so you can stand firmly on both feet just fine by yourself.
– Keep only the relationships that nurture you and bring you joy – whether that’s with family, friends or a significant other.
– Never underplay your intelligence because you’re scary smart. And if you don’t know something, ask. There is no shame in getting help *or* in flaunting your brains, because you have a lot of them!
– Don’t stress. Yes, hello- pot meet kettle, right? But really- relax. Things have a way of working out- just keep moving forward, take advantage of all the opportunities you have and things will play out like they’re supposed to.
– Be kind. In this world of ours, there are alllll sorts of people. Live and let live, kiddo- be kind to others and expect kindness back.
I cannot wait to see how this year unfolds for you! Enjoy every minute you can and stay true to yourself. Parenting you is one of my biggest privileges – you are so loved, never forget that.
All my love,
Mom