I love raising teenagers. Except for when I don’t. And today, I don’t.

Story 1 – Yesterday
The scene: Scorch needs to / wants to eat. He is hangry but he’s also lazy. So he doesn’t want to cook or make anything. He just wants food.

Just none of the food in our fridge. We have leftovers, we have cold cuts, we have waffles, we have cereal. We have fruit and veggies and PB&J. We have frozen pizza and chicken strips.

He wants NONE OF THOSE.

Scorch: “Mom, we have NOTHING to eat in this house. It’s all the same food all the time.”

Me: “Well, make a list and tell me what you want and I’ll grab new foods the next time I’m at the store.”

Scorch, as he’s throwing himself on the couch, huffing in indignation: “NO! I don’t want new foods. I just don’t want the foods we have. I’m hungry.”

Cool, cool. That’s helpful, kid- super helpful.

Story 2 – Today
The scene: It’s Monday after school. Scorch’s girlfriend is over. She’s leaving at 5, and Scorch has to leave at 5:10 to go to basketball practice.

Me, at 4:50: “Scorch, come up and get food before you have to go.”

Scorch: “It’s early and The Girlfriend is here, I don’t need to eat yet.”

Me: “Ok, but you have 20 minutes until you have to go. Plan accordingly.” (hahahaha– I say that, but like, no, I know he’s NEVER going to plan accordingly.)

The girlfriend leaves at 5:05 and it’s 5:07. Scorch decides, 3 MINUTES before he has to go, that he wants to make eggs and waffles. EGGGGGSSSS AND WAFFLES- remember when I told him to plan accordingly!?

I calmly tell him that he doesn’t have time for that, he’s got to grab something to go.

Scorch: “This is such crap! I’m starving and now you’re telling me I don’t have time to eat?!”

I love him. I love him with my whole heart. But there are days where I wonder if he has a brain in his head.