Dec6

Man vs. Tree, Christmas Style

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Last weekend it was time to get our Christmas tree.  Heck, if it was up to Hubs, we’d have our tree in Oct. But since we get a live tree, that just isn’t feasible (thank goodness!).  We didn’t have time to make our annual pilgrimage to the local tree farm- you know that place in the middle of no where you drive to, spend 2 hours walking around and end up selecting the first tree you saw at the bottom of the hill? Yeah- that didn’t fit into our schedule this year, so we went to the picturesque lot right in the Burger King parking lot.

We were looking for a specific type of tree (Concolor Fir) and this lot only had 4 of them. None of them looked that impressive to me- they all looked a little short and not terribly full, but we had to get a tree that day and we didn’t have the time to drive all over God’s green earth to look at another lot. So we picked a tree.

As the Hubs was walking it over to the car, I noticed that the tree towered over him. Given that the Hubs is over 6 feet tall, it started to occur to me that perhaps the tree was larger then I gave it credit for.  The very nice guy who ran the lot offered to trim the trunk for us- so  he, and his awesome chain saw, made quick work out of lopping at least 8 inches off the bottom.  Perfect. On to the car it went and we took our tree home.

The next day it was time to put the tree up.  It became apparent very quickly that all that trimming we did wasn’t nearly enough. Yes, those are branches bending over b/c they have hit my 9 foot high ceiling.

2012_CHristmasTree

Never mind- that’s not anything that another quick trim can’t fix. On to decorating we go! This is the first year ever that both kids were super psyched to help us decorated AND were actually helpful.  Having kids is finally paying off!

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Things were going swimmingly until it was time to put the star on the tree. After we had the kids fight it out cage-match style to figure out who got this honor, it was time for Beaner to put  it on (she’s small, but she’s strong*).  That is, until she completely freaked out over being that high up on the Hub’s shoulders and flat out refused to try to put it up.  We gave Scorch a shot and he maned up and got the star on there.  Only there was a small problem:

2012_CHristmasTree_Star

Yup..when we gave our tree its haircut, we didn’t take into account the height of the star.  The words that came out of the Hubs mouth when trimming our tree for the 3rd time were neither family friendly or in the holiday spirit.  But we did it!

I give you the Griswold Family Christmas Tree:

2012_Christmas_Tree

Now, let’s all say a quick prayer that 1) no woodland creatures emerge from it and 2) my cats don’t knock it over. Amen.

 

 

*Name that movie.

Dec4

Dream the Impossible Dream

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Last summer, my kids went to to summer camp at their school. They had a *fantastic* summer experience- in part because they got to spend a lot of time with the older kids.  The Bean latched on to George, a boy in 3rd grade. George couldn’t have been nicer to her- talking to her, playing with her and putting up with all the annoying things 4 year olds can do.  All summer long we heard about George- what he did, what he said and (most importantly) how the Bean was going to marry him when she got older. No doubt about it, he was the guy for her.

As the school year got under way, we started to hear less about George and I didn’t give it a second thought. Then this morning happened.

Scorch: “Bean- look at this!”

Bean: “Don’t bother me! I’m dreaming about George with my eyes open.”

I guess some dreams never die.

Dec3

The Best Laid Plans

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Every year, I spend a day Christmas shopping with one of my dearest friends. We drop the kids off at school, meet up at 8:15 in the morning, hit up a bunch of stores, have a great lunch, then shop some more.  This year, planning this trip was a bit more complicated since she had her 3rd child 9 weeks ago. We wanted to go while she was still on  maternity leave, but we had to find a day for her sitter to take the baby, we had to plan for her pumping and we had to be back by 3:30 to pick up her kids from school.  Not ideal, but with our mad crazy planning skills we picked a day and were ready to roll.

That is, until the Bean woke up that morning, walked in on me brushing my teeth in the bathroom at 5:15 in the morning and threw up on my bare feet. Nothing in that sentence is exaggerated.

Clearly I’m maturing as a mother because I didn’t scream (didn’t want to wake up Scorch), nor did I vomit in retaliation on her head (temping though).  Instead I calmly got the Bean and myself cleaned up (all the while cursing the fates in my head) and then proceeded to hold back her hair and otherwise clean her up for the next 14 hours straight.  So my wonderful day of girl time and shopping was replaced by spending the day watching Dora and doing 7 load of laundry.

Thankfully the Bean woke up on Saturday like nothing happened. She was royally pissed that I wouldn’t make her hot chocolate and proceeded to terrorize us all all damn day to make up for being sick on Friday. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she consulted my calendar before getting sick, the little stinker!

 

Nov28

Christmas Wish Lists

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For the love of all that is holy, I had no idea how long the “30 Days of Thanks” thing would feel 28 days into it.  Can we all agree that I’m very thankful for my husband/kids/family/warm house/working body/chocolate and move on? Because I am and I want to.

Now, let’s talk about material things. Specifically, Christmas Lists.

Does your family do Christmas lists? My family lives and dies by them and since some of my family actually plans ahead, I’ve been told I need to come up with lists for me and the kids pronto. The problem for me is that I’m 34 and typically just buy what we need throughout the year. My mother, bless her, hates giving gift cards or money, so I still need to come up with something.  Somehow, I doubt new bath towels are going to be something she’s thrilled about buying.  So tell me- what are you asking for?

As for the kiddos- what’s hot for 6 year old boys that isn’t lego related? And what about gifts for a 4 year old girl who isn’t into princesses, Barbies or baby dolls? The girl is like McGyver- give her 3 Dixie cups, 1 marker, 5 pieces of paper and a pair of scissors and she’s happy for hours.

I’m all ears- hit me with your best ideas!

 

Nov27

30 Days of Thanks: The Flash

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Ever since Scorch was a wee baby, he sucked at sleeping. And now that Scorch is a big kid, he still sucks at sleeping. He’s programmed to wake up at 6 am, so 99% of the time- regardless of how late he went to bed- he’s up at the crack of dawn.  That I can deal with.

What I struggle with is all his issues falling asleep. It’s all tied into his anxiety and it doesn’t make any sense to me at all- but we do try to roll with it. For a good 6 months we had to sit on his floor while he fell asleep but gradually we started moving further and further away- first to his doorway, then to the hallway, then to my doorway where he could still see me, then I could be fully in my room where he didn’t need to see me.  I was hoping that soon I could actually be in other areas of the house and not be held captive until he fell asleep.

Well, about 2 weeks ago his anxiety really started to crank up so we’ve regressed to sitting in my doorway where he can see me while he falls asleep. It’s maddening– but it’s something we have to deal with. The rule is when you go to bed, you have to lay there with your eyes and mouth shut for 5 minutes. You are only allowed to get up during those 5 minutes if you’re 1) bleeding, 2) going to puke or 3)  have a broken bone.

Tonight, Scorch wasn’t following those rules at all and my temper was thisclose to exploding as he darted out of bed time and time again. This last time was different though- he got out of bed and streaked down the hall. When he streaked back into his bed again without stopping to pester me, I got up to investigate.

Dude- what are you doing?

Wait- you saw me?!

Yup- you ran right past my room.

Aww man! I joined the running team at school and I figured that I was so fast that you wouldn’t be able to see me. Since I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to test it out.

*sigh* It’s very, very hard to be mad at a kid who thinks he’s got superhero speed, no matter how many times he gets out of bed.

Nov25

30 Days of Thanks: Cousins

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“Hey- what’s your favorite kind of fart?”

“Favorite kind? What do you mean?”

“Like loud ones, stinky ones, quiet ones?”

:Oh man- I like ’em all.”

– actually conversation overheard between Scorch and his cousin this weekend.

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I have 9 first cousins- and growing up, none of them lived more then an hour away. We got together for every holiday, birthday and random event you can think of.   My kids have 3 cousins- and the closest one lives 6 hours away. Not quite the same upbringing I had, huh?

Thanksgiving is a big deal on the Hubs side of the family because (most of the time) it’s the one time of year my mother-in-law gets all 3 of her sons and their families together for a holiday. This year my youngest brother-in-law and his wife couldn’t make it (you were missed!) but my older brother-in-law made the 16 hour trip with his boys. Fric is 8 and Frack is 7 (he’s 6 months older then Scorch). We only see the boys 2-3 times a year, so I hold my breath every time we see them. Will the kids still get along? Will they be shy with each other? Will they take forever to warm up with each other?

And, once again, I worried for nothing. I don’t think my kids let their cousins even take off their jacket before they were all over them, asking them to play, wanting to show them their tricks and asking them all sorts of question. And the Fric and Frack gave it back just as good as they get it- and it’s awesome because the kids don’t need us for any reason except as referees.

What wasn’t so awesome were the farting contests and the arguments over who won them, the stinky smell of sneakers, and the rivers of sweat from some crazy games of wall ball- but those are small prices to pay for 3 days of pure fun with some of our favorite people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nov19

30 Days of Thanks: Little Things

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I feel like last year my 30 Days of Thanks posts were a lot more serious- the kids, my niece, friends, parents, in-laws. I covered all my bases. And clearly this year I’m still thankful for all those things- but it’s the little things that are capturing me the most this year. Tonight was full of those little things that all equal up to a perfect night:

> Scorch is learning basic addition and subtraction, so tonight’s car ride was full of me calling out equations for him. That’s all good and well, but the best part was when the Bean would randomly yell out numbers that, more often or not, were correct. I know she was just calling out random numbers, but every time she got a question right, we all laughed like loons.

> The kiddos and I had dinner out tonight after a crazy evening of running around. They were perfectly well behaved, ate well and kept 95% of their conversation appropriate for public places (meaning: they kept their poop jokes to a minimum).  That’s a win in my book.

> I still have 76 Christmas cards to write out- that fact is really, really depressing. But the fact that I have 100+ people to send cards to makes my heart happy. I tried to cut down on the list this year, but I just couldn’t.  We are a very lucky family.

> Christmas carols. Yes, I know it’s early. Yes, I know I’m supposed to be disdainful of all this holiday cheer in November. But damn it, I’m hooked. It’s all we listen to now and I’m so in the holiday mood now.

> I have one more work day and then I’m off until next week. I love my job, but I love my vacation time even more.

 

Nov17

30 Days of Thanks: Good Tunes

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I was struggling last summer to come up with birthday gift ideas for myself. I mean, I need new towels and would love a Dyson, but that’s not fun at all. So I told the Hubs that I wanted an experience- a trip, a concert, lessons, something like that. I didn’t need another piece of jewelry or a shirt- I wanted to do something.  And my husband, bless him, delivered in a big way.

Last night we saw the Zac Brown Band play- and it was amazing.

Cell phone pic from the concert.

Now, concerts aren’t the Hub’s thing at all. It’s crowed, parking is a bitch, there are loud people everywhere and half of them are drunk, the beers are at least $7 and when we leave, your ears ring for hours.  But I love concerts- the energy, the vibe, making friends with the people around you, the dancing and the really, really bad sing alongs. Love ’em- and I haven’t been going to nearly enough of them lately. Before the kids were born I hit a bunch of shows- Jimmy Buffett, Bruce Springsteen, Blues Travelers, Big & Rich, Garth Brooks, Billy Joel and on and on- but since we had the kids we’ve basically stopped going and last night’s show proved to me that we have to fix that, pronto.

ZBB puts on a hell of show- they play their best songs along with a bunch of cover songs (The Joker by Steve Miller Band was my favorite) and everyone just ate it up.  Zac himself was awesome both on vocals and on guitar, and he was backed by true musicians that were just as much fun to watch and listen to.  I could have watched his fiddle player play for 2 hours by himself he was that good.  Even the opening act was fantastic- I have absolutely no complaints about the show from beginning to end.

So tonight, I’m very thankful for great music that fills my soul and for a husband that sucks it up so I can enjoy an amazing night!

 

Nov14

30 Days of Thanks: Expanding our Vocabulary

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Ever since the kids were little, we’ve had random conversations here and there about good touch/ bad touch and why no one should ever touch your private areas. But we never had a long detailed discussion about the topic until last night. I don’t even remember how we got on the subject, but one minute we’re saying our prayers before bed and the next the kids and I are discussing how adults can go to jail for touching children inappropriately.

Fun times, those discussions.

When we were wrapping things up, we were talking about various body parts and I said the word “nipple.” Evidently, Bean had never heard this word before and she thought it was hilarious. The child laughed so hard she cried as she repeated it to herself over and over- it was the kind of laugh that got Scorch and I going right along with her even though we had no idea what was so funny about it.

This morning on the way to school, Scorch was being a turd to Bean- provoking her until she finally snapped and told him she wasn’t going to talk him anymore the rest of the day.  Scorch thought about this for a minute, looked right at her and just said “nipples.”  Before he could even get the whole word out, Beaner was giggling and all was well again.

Today I’m thankful for kids who know how to push each others buttons- for better or for worse!

Nov13

30 Days of Thanks: The Eyes Have It

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My daughter looks like a demon right now.

On Saturday, her right eye was a little pink. I thought she irritated it, so I didn’t pay much attention until until Sunday morning when I gasped the first time I saw her the day. Clearly, the child skipped right over pink eye and landed squarely on red, demon eyes (yes, plural). It reminds me a little bit of my college years when a friend got so sick from a night of drinking that she popped the blood vessels in her eye from all the vomiting she did.  Needless to say, we were at the walk-in at 8 am on Sunday morning for a prescription to clear her eyes up.

57 hours later, and I’m still waiting for her eyes to clear up.  They don’t seem to bother her at all, but they are still really, really gross to look at. And, she passed her germs on to me. Fun times.

All that said, today I’m thankful that of all the illnesses that could have hit my house, all we are dealing with are colds and pink eye. I’ll take either one of those any day over 99% of the illnesses out there.