A few days ago I got an email from an old college friend. We had lost touch for a long while and were trading the typical what-are-you-up-to-now emails. He asked me what else I was doing with myself besides chasing around kiddos.
Before I had Scorch- a much wanted, long awaited baby- I had a minor freak out over becoming a Mom. I wanted to be a Mom so so badly, but I didn’t want to only be a Mom. I wanted to make sure I was still me, Heather- the individual who reads too much, loves chocolate too much, hates veggies too much and talks much, much too fast.
4+ years into this Mommy gig and I’ve come to realize that losing yourself to a degree is inevitable. At first it’s due to necessity. I breastfed both my kids so, for the first few weeks at least, I couldn’t be away for long. Once they started taking breast milk in a bottle, the leash wasn’t so tight but the kids and their needs had to come first. I was sleep deprived and exhausted and, within months after having both kids, working full time and staying up all night with my crappy sleepers. Not exactly the makings of a real dynamo, right?
Now that the kiddos are getting older, I can branch out more. I work full time, so my evenings with the kids are precious. But I’m trying. I took a weekly photography class last spring. I make sure I get to the gym 2-4 morning a week. Girls night with the various friends I’m blessed to have happens at least once a month. My parents are kind enough to keep the kids at least one night every month, so the Hubs and I get a regular date night (and the morning after to sleep in!).
There is more I’d love to do. I’d love to find a book club that meets in the evening hours (so much around here is structured for stay at home moms!). I want to learn how to knit. I’d love to take another photography class. I’ll get there eventually.
Being Scorch and Bean’s mom is the biggest, best part of me- that will never change. But I’m glad the book-and-chocolate-loving motor mouth in me still gets to come out and play!