Monthly Archives: December 2010

Dec9

Stumped (Or: What to Buy a 2 Year Old?)

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I’m deep into Santa-mode here.  We have a relatively large family, so about 3 years ago I started a spreadsheet of who we need to buy for, ideas for what to get, what I actually bought them and the cost.  It’s color coded, of course. Black for needs to still be bought, red for already purchased (totally not kidding).

Out of the 20+ names on this list of people to buy for one only name has nothing under either the ideas OR the gifts bought column.  That person? Beaner.

I am completely, totally stumped on what to buy my 2 year old daughter.  Every where I look, I’m finding ideas for Scorch.  In fact, I may have bought him so much that I’ll have to save stuff for his birthday.

It shouldn’t be too hard to buy for a 2 year old girl, right?

I walked through an entire Toys R Us today and nothing sparked my interest. She has a small fascination with Tinker Bell, but do I really want to start feeding into the Disney Princess/Fairy love that I’m sure will come fast enough on its own? Some of those aisles looked like a Pepto-Bismol bottle exploded over them and I just can’t stand that much pink in my house. She’s getting the most coveted gifts from her grandparents and is honestly just as happy running around, hanging off the furniture, playing with Scorch’s dinosaurs as she is anything else.

I did get her some Play-Dough, activity books and giant coloring book. I may just re-wrap some of her old toys and hope she doesn’t notice.

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According to the NICU doc today, no one bothered to tell Lala that she’s a 28 week old preemie because she certainly isn’t acting like one! That little girl is amazing people left and right with how well she continues to do. 🙂 Red got to change her diaper and take her temp today, which is awesome! I can’t imagine how hard it is not to hold your baby whenever you want, so I’m thrilled she got more hands on time with her baby.  Hoping TBO gets to interact more with Lala soon too!

Red goes home from the hospital tomorrow, so if you can all spare some good thoughts because I can’t imagine leaving Lala will be an easy thing to do.

Dec8

Bee-bo

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There are two things we have been doing a lot lately with the Bean:

1) Talking about Santa coming. That jolly old elf is an awesome, awesome threat this time of year- all I have to do is say “Santa’s watching…” and the kids straighten right up

2) Reading her Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton. It’s been her favorite book forever and it gets read at least nightly by her father.  When the Hubs is done reading it to her, he immediately starts blowing raspberries on her bee-bo (the name the baby hippo in the book calls his belly button) and they laugh until she gets hiccups.

Somehow in her 2 year old mind, the Bean has gotten the two things- Santa and her bee-bo- combined.  Anytime we see Santa, she asks two things- is Santa coming to our house (yes) and will Santa blow on her bee-bo when he does (no).  This bee-bo blowing is a major concern because she will tell you in no uncertain terms that Santa should not blow on her belly.  Only daddy can do that.

I’m not sure why Beaner thinks Santa is a belly-button-blowing creep, but it’s hysterically funny to see her cover up her belly each and every time she see’s him!
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Lala had another very quiet, uneventful night last night and day today!  Her jaundice is a tad bit worse, but it’s not in to the scary range yet, so the docs just added more billi lights to her tanning bed.  Red got to see her a few times and hopefully soon she  can start changing her diaper and taking her temp.

 

 

Dec7

1 lb 14 oz

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When my sister, Red,  and her husband, TBO, were dealing with infertility I understood the world they were living in. We may have undergone different procedures, but I spoke the language. IUI. IVF. 2WW. BFN. U/S. And then finally, BFP. I could commiserate and offer advice. It’s not a road anyone wants to walk down, but at least Red & TBO weren’t walking it alone.

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Red’s pregnancy went from routine to high risk last Friday.  Then on Sunday it went from high risk to critical. Family was called and we all started living on pins and needles.

Yesterday morning it was decided that it was safer for everyone if Red had the baby.  She was only 28 weeks along, but my niece wasn’t growing fast enough and Red’s health was in danger.

Yesterday afternoon my niece, LaLa, was born weighing 1 lb 14 oz.  Amazingly enough, she was born crying. Even more amazingly, she’s breathing on her own with minimal assistance and her heart rate and blood pressure are picture perfect. I believe the nurses even called her a rock star.  Red, thankfully, is also recovering well from her surgery!

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There are so many things that absolutely stink about this situation- namely that a teeny-tiny baby will spending the next few months in the NICU.  For the family that lives 350 miles away from Red, TBO and LaLa, it’s the feeling of helplessness. Red & TBO were forced into a whole new world yesterday, a world that the vast majority of us have never even visited yet alone lived in.  Thankfully they aren’t without some great resource both within our extended family and their friends to help them along.  I just wish there was more the rest of us could do besides hope and pray.

Dec5

Sisters

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“Can’t you take her back?”

According to the family stories, that’s the first thing I said when I met Red, my baby sister, after she was born.  I was 2 and a half and it was all down here from there for a long, long time.

I remember fighting with my sister over everything. Toys, dolls, friends, food- everything.

“She’s breathing too loud!”

“She’s looking at me!”

“She’s touching me!”

Doors slamming. Yelling. Even slapping each other. Why my parents didn’t sell us both to the circus when we we’re younger, I’ll never know.  I had one friend tell me that one day, we’d be best friends and I still remember rolling my eyes so far back at the thought that it’s a wonder they didn’t get stuck.

But she was right. I don’t know when it happened, but gradually Red went from being someone I just barely tolerated to my best friend.  Now we talk daily, if not more.  It makes the Hubs nuts sometimes because he knows nine times out of ten when the phone rings, it’s going to be Red (or my mom).

Red and her husband, TBO, went through hell and back to get pregnant. I had my own problems having Scorch and Bean, so my heart hurt for them each cycle they were unsuccessful. Getting the picture of the positive pregnancy test from Red at 4 am one morning a few months back was one of the happiest times ever.

Fast forward 28 short weeks. Red is 350 miles away hospitalized for the rest of her pregnancy.  A pregnancy that could last another day longer or another 12 weeks, it’s something that will be decided daily.  It’s killing me to be this far away from my best friends, my sister, at such a scary time.

Red & TBO- we love you and the baby and know that you all will be fine. Stay strong and call me as many times a day as you need, Hubs can deal with it. 😉

 

Dec3

Absolutes

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A friend was over at our house earlier today and she was talking about the awful behavior some of her friend’s kids were showing at a get together last week. Now, some of the behaviors she listed were absolutely verboten- my kids don’t climb on the back of other people’s couches, walk on their tables or be rude to others. And if they do, we correct them immediately.

Then my friend was talking about how one mom won’t even take her child shopping with her because his behavior was out of control. She looked me dead in the eye and asked if I could ever imagine letting my kids dictate my behavior like that.

I’m still laughing.  See, I flat out refuse to shop with the Bean.  I will do my grocery shopping at 6 am while everyone is asleep at my house to avoid going with her.

It wasn’t always like this. Up until 6 months or so ago, it wasn’t that bad. When she was itty bitty, I plopped her my carrier, put Scorch in the cart and off we went.  When she got older, she would happily sit either in the child seat in the cart or, if we were really lucky, in the race car kid’s cart with her big brother. Then one day, she refused. Either I held her in my arms (not even in the carrier) or she would scream and sob and kick and try to escape where ever you put her. She didn’t want to walk or ride, she wanted to be carried and heaven help you and the rest of the shoppers if I didn’t do so.  After about a half a dozen times of sweating thru my entire grocery shopping trip and leaving the store stressed to the max, I gave up and leave her behind.

Anyhow- this conversation got me thinking of some of the parenting absolutes I had before I had kids.

1) My kids will never, ever watch TV.
With Scorch we stuck with that pretty well.  Then we had Beaner and sometimes I needed to keep Scorch occupied while I attended to her and was too tired to chase him. By the time Scorch was 3 and Bean was 1, they could both sign the theme song to Jack’s Big Music Show. Now we have family movie nights every Friday!

2)   My kids will never wear any clothing with characters on it.
I mostly stick with this one, but we did have about a 6 month phase when Scorch was in love with Elmo. Seriously, who can resist a 2 year old who got no greater joy then wearing an Elmo t-shirt? Not me.

3) Need to train your kids (be it potty training, sleeping, whatever)? Use a sticker chart!
That is a perfect solution if sticker charts motivate your kids. At age 4, a sticker chart for good behavior is still the key to Scorch’s heart.  The Bean couldn’t give a flying frog over ’em.  We still haven’t found what motivates that kid- stickers, food, toys. Doesn’t matter- she’s going to do what she wants and to hell with the rest.

4) I will never, ever let my kid throw a fit in a store. If s/he acts up, out the door we go. That behavior won’t be accepted or put up with.
Great idea in theory, but what happens when you have a week’s worth of groceries in the cart and your husband is out of town for 5 days? I’ll tell you what happens- you bribe your kid with whatever it takes to shut them up and hustle them out there as fast as you can after you finish your shopping.

5) No child of mine will leave the house looking like s/he was dressed by a blind drunk clown.
*snort* Yeah- you come over to my house and try to tackle, then wrestle my kid into clothes they refuse to wear. I’ll stand my ground if we’re going to church or some place special, but the rest of the time as long as it fits and it’s clean, have at it. Mismatched clothes never hurt a soul.

I know I have more- what’s yours?

 

 

Dec2

Love Thursday: I’m Beautiful

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One of my favorite bloggers recently wrote a post a about accepting to yourself. About realizing that you’re beautiful for a variety of reasons- that beauty shouldn’t be defined only by the super models of the world.  Her post in and of itself is amazing and in it she asks people to share why they are beautiful.  I dare you  not to read the comments and smile.  Here are a few that were shared:

> I’m beautiful because I survived a crazy, anxious childhood; a long slow drop into alcoholism, drug addiction and street life; and now, at 55, I think everything is funny. Because for such a long time, nothing was.

> I am beautiful because somehow I manage to get up one more time than I have fallen down.

> I am beautiful because I have my mother’s strong hands, my grandmother’s hips and my father’s feet. I have the same blue eyes as my sister and the same mole on my third finger as my daughter. I am beautiful because I am parts of all those that I love.

Seriously- how great is that??

But it’s hard- really hard- for me to say what makes me beautiful. When I look in the mirror most of the time, all I see are the flaws. The 12 pounds that I’ve been trying to lose since having the Bean. The random gray hairs. The eyes that need a stronger prescription every year. The various scars all over my body- from my car accident, from being pregnant, from being the least graceful person in NY state.

But that body, as imperfect as it is, finally after 3 long, hard years carried and birthed two healthy, perfect babies.  That baby weight doesn’t reflect as much time at the gym as I’d like, but it does reflect time that was better spent with my family and friends living life.  The outside may not be conventionally beautiful, but my sense of self, my innate optimism and my fierce love of my family and friends make me beautiful.

What makes YOU beautiful?

Dec1

Selective Memory

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Earlier today the kiddos were downstairs playing while I was making dinner. I was running back and forth to keep an eye on them, but my attention wasn’t 100%  focused on the Bean.

Mistake #1.

During one of my trips down the stairs, I started to smell a not-so pleasant odor.  I wasn’t too worried until I rounded the corner to see Beaner standing there with no pants on, her onesie half off and no diaper.

Oh dear God- it’s finally happened. She’s pooped and taken off her diaper. I contained my panic, assessed the situation and started with clean up. I’ll spare you the details- you’re welcome.

After cleaning her (and the basement) up, I got back to cooking- this time keeping both kids on the same floor of the house as me.  The Bean wanted to wash her hands, which 1) was a really good idea anyhow and 2) something she does a lot so I told her to have at it, but I didn’t stay in the bathroom with her.

Mistake #2.

It got really quiet in the bathroom so I sent Scorch in there to check on her.  When he started laughing like a loon as soon as he walked in, I knew there was trouble.  There was the Bean standing in my sink about to open up a bottle of nail polish.  Thankfully, I got there early enough to prevent disaster.

I got the Bean down, had a stern talking to her and then went back to my cooking trying to get dinner on the table early so we could spend the night putting up the Christmas tree.  The kids wanted to play in their rooms- something they do all the freaking time, so I wasn’t too worried.

Mistake #3 (I swear I’m not normally this dumb.)

I heard the dreaded words come out of her mouth: “Yook at me, Mom!”  Into her room I go to find her standing on her dresser. That, right then? That is when my head exploded.

Well, not really, but damned if it wasn’t close.  You guys- this all happened within a 15 min span!!!!

Yet later that night after dinner was finally served, the tree was put up and fully decorated (only one ornament broken!) and I was getting Bean to bed, I actually said to my daughter: “You’ve been such a good girl today!”

That, my friends, is selective memory at its finest.  Either that or good old fashion repression!