Scorch vs. The Toilet


Ah, Tuesday– you strike again.

After the typical craziness of swim lessons and dinner, it was bath time.  This time we smartened up and bathed the kids separately.  Bean went first without a fuss, then it was Scorch’s turn. The boy didn’t want to get out, so when the time came he was not happy. He stepped out of the tub and decided he would show his displeasure by going limp and letting his body fall to the ground. On the way down, his cheek bone smacked right into the side of the toilet.


Immediately, the poor kid started crying. I thought he bonked his eye, so I  checked that out quickly. Upon seeing his eyeball was still in place, I started to reassure him that he was OK.  Then he moved his towel and I saw his cheekbone. I couldn’t help it- I started to crack up. I mean- come on, he gave himself a black eye on the toilet! He had a huge purple bruise starting to form and I know darn well it’s not going to look good tomorrow.

Scorch was not happy with my laughter and started to cry again. I stifled myself and said something along the lines of how he got himself good. Wrong thing to say.

Mommy..don’t look at my cheek! I don’t want anyone to see my eye!

I said not to worry about it, bruises always make for good stories.

I can’t tell people I hit it on the toilet!!

Hmmm…ok, I told him he could tell people that dinosaurs broke into our house and he had to fight them off.

Mom- everyone knows dinosaurs are extinct! That won’t work.

He had a point- his classmates are smart little buggers.  So I suggested we tell everyone he wrestled with a honey badger.**

Mooo-ooom- honey badgers don’t have thumbs. They can’t break in to a house, duh!

Also a good point. We never did settle on what he’s going to tell his friends tomorrow, but at least he started laughing and settled down.

As for me, I’m going to get a kick of telling this story for quite some time.


**That video has lots of swearing, but it’s hysterical!




About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at

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