“I haf cat hair in my mouth.”
“I’m sorry, sweets- that is what you get when you wrestle with Mooch.”
“Please get it out.”
“Excuse me? You want me to get that cat hair out of your mouth?”
And that is how I found myself scraping my daughter’s tongue with my fingernails to get the cat hair out of her mouth.
I had no idea about all the ridiculous things I’d have to do as a parent. I knew about the butt wiping, the vomit cleaning (*shudder*) and the drool drying- everyone loves to tell you about the gross things. But how come no one told me about the rest. No one warned me about…
– the appropriate response when your kid tries to stick their finger up one of the pet’s bums (thankfully a phase both my kids have long out grown)
– how exactly to respond when your kid informs you quite adamantly that that long haired guy with 7 earring ringing you out at the grocery store is a girl. Loudly. Over and over.
– the proper reaction when your newly potty trained child announces to everyone in the public rest room what you’re doing in great detail.
– the fact that you will, on more then one occasion, fish something out of the toilet that your kids dropped in. Even when the water isn’t exactly clean.
Why were these things not mentioned? Consider this fair warning- you will be embarrassed and grossed out by your kids regularly. You’ll do things you’d never think you’d do all for the sake of saving your plumbing and making your kids happy- so make sure you have rubber gloves around and have a thick skin. The kids are worth it.