On Saturday we belated held Scorch’s birthday party.  We had to delay it a while because of the Virus from Hell – something that Scorch was not happy about.  Have you ever tried explaining to a 5 year old that he is not having his birthday party (read: not getting presents) for weeks because of an illness?  I don’t recommend it.

But finally, finally everyone in my house was healthy and Party Day dawned hot and sunny.  Scorch had a great t-ball game earlier in the day, the kids took great naps and the guest all arrived on time.  We had a fantastic evening full of family, friends, great food, cake and, yes, presents.  By the time everyone left around 9:30, I was happily exhausted.  Just as my Mother-in-Law, the Hubs and I were heading to bed, the Hubs said, “I don’t feel good.”

Are. You. Kidding?

I quietly said a quick prayer that the Hubs simply drank or ate too much and that was that.  It had been 5 full days since anyone in my house was sick- it couldn’t possibly be the Virus from Hell, right?  Wrong.  The Hubs started getting sick at 11:30 and kept going at least once an hour for 5 hours.

Now, that is awful for the Hubs- I felt terrible for him.  But, really, I felt more sorry for me and my mother-in-law (who was staying with us for the weekend) because the Hubs is the loudest puker *ever.*  There is absolutely no sleeping in a house this small when the Hubs is getting sick unless you’re in your own room with the door closed and a sound machine on, which the kids were.  But my mother-in-law and I weren’t so lucky, so we got to experience exactly what the Hubs was going through.  He’s so loud that Crazy, our dog, was freaking out.  She thought it was thunder every time the Hubs got sick, so we had to sedate her to get her through this ordeal.

The Hubs had my pity all through out the night, but I’m sorry to report he didn’t have my patience. I found myself thinking about the cost of hotel rooms (for either him or us, I didn’t care), asking the Hubs to go down in the basement with Crazy, the cats and our tiny speck of a half bathroom that Hubs barely fits into to get sick and, finally, smothering the Hubs when he got back to bed to put us all out of our misery.  But, because I’m clearly Wife of the Year material, I didn’t do any of the above and we all got through this.

Here we are 3 days out and the Hubs is still wiped out- he hasn’t left the house since Saturday.  I’m obsessively following him around with my Clorox Wipes, wiping down everything he’s touched.  It’s been 2 weeks since the Virus from Hell hit this house and I’m still standing and I intend to keep in that way. Wish me luck.