One of the biggest joys and one of the biggest challenges to me about raising kids is how the game is always changing. Once I feel like I’ve got something down pat, the kids grow up, the friends change and I’m left wondering what to do. Here is my latest in the “How in the World do you Handle This?” chronicles.
Scorch had a t-ball game tonight. The game itself went fine and Scorch had a great time playing and hanging with his friends. After the game ,we celebrated one of the coaches birthdays with cake and took our time leaving the field. Scorch wanted to play more ball, so I pitched to him for a while and, like most times, one of the other little boys wanted to play too. So, after Scorch had a few hits, it was this little boy’s turn. We are good friends with this little boy’s family and we see them socially at least once a week. Scorch and this kid have a good relationship- but it’s always been very competitive.
So, this little boy gets up to bat and Scorch says he’s going to be the catcher only he says it rather softly and is standing off to the side- not at all in the normal catcher’s position. The little boy missed my first pitch and the ball falls by his feet so he picks it up and throws it back to me. Scorch doesn’t say anything. Again, I pitch and the little boy misses and he throws it back to me. This time Scorch speaks up and says he wants to be the catcher so to let him get the ball. The third time the little boy fouls the ball and lands at his feet, so he scoops it right up and throw it back to me.
Scorch lost his ever loving mind. He starts crying, which is the normal Scorch reaction. I try to calm him down by telling him that the little boy was just trying to help, it’s not a big deal, he can get the next ball. That doesn’t work because next Scorch started yelling at the little boy telling his that he was the catcher, the little boys shouldn’t have caught the ball and on and on. I quickly put the kabosh on the yelling, and tell Scorch to apologize right now because we do not yell at our friends. Scorch yells out an apology (not at all sincere) and then starts yelling about how this little boy owes him an apology too.
At this point, I don’t know what to do, so we just simple say goodbye and dragging our crying screaming child with us. On the drive home, Scorch keeps it up- telling me over and over how this little boy owed him an apology for not letting him pick up the ball. I tell Scorch that’s not the way it works, the little boy didn’t do anything wrong, that Scorch shouldn’t yell at his friends- but I could tell I didn’t make a dent in his little head.
So what do you do in that situation? Is there is a different way to deal with it as it was unfolding? Do we have Scorch call this little boy tomorrow and apologize sincerely (I say yes, the Hubs says no as Scorch already did apologize at the field)? How in the world do you handle a situation when your kid gets so mad at a friend that he just can’t be reasoned with keeping in mind that Scorch has just turned 5?