I hate scary movies. The Scream movies? Yeah- too scary for me to enjoy.
It all started when I was a kid and saw the mini-series It based on the Stephen King novel. Have you guys ever seen that? It’s about a psychotic clown that comes back to kill a group of adults it fought against 30 years prior. I had no business seeing that movie- I wasn’t even a teenager when it came out. Scared. Me. To. Death.
The Hubs knows this and if he didn’t know this, it became very apparent after we went to see the movie Signs (the alien one with Mel Gibson by M Night Shyamlan) back in 2002. I don’t know why we went to see this- I think we went with another couple and I was too stupid to speak up. But anyhow- we saw the movie, had dinner and the Hubs and I went back to our apartment for the night.
I was a nervous wreck going back to the apartment- sure something sinister was waiting there for us. The Hubs teased me the whole ride home about how I was acting- he thought it was a riot. A quick check of the place (and the fact that the Hubs carries a gun for a living) helped ease my mind so I went into the bathroom to get changed and wash up for the night. When I was done, I went to hang up my shirt in the closest.
(Can you see where this is going?)
Standing in the closest, between my clothes was the Hubs, holding a flashlight under his face. He didn’t say a word- he didn’t have to.
To say I freaked out would be a gross understatement- I think I left my body for a minute. I screamed bloody murder and immediately burst into tears and collapsed on the floor. Besides dashing any dreams I had about one day being strong enough to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it also drove home the point to the Hubs that 1) scary movies and I don’t mix and that 2) scaring your wife to the point of hysterics is not a good idea.
Fast forward 10 years. Every morning I’m the first one up. I work out, cool off and shower before anyone else in the house is up- it’s been our routine for months now. You can imagine my shock when I pulled back the shower curtain this morning to find the words “It” painted on the wall with red bath paint made to look like dripping blood.
The Hubs is damn lucky I didn’t wake the house with my screaming this morning. But don’t worry, he’ll get his when I can’t sleep tonight and keep him all night to keep me company.