On the way home from a crazy long evening of soccer and baseball, the Bean told me quite urgently that she had to go to the bathroom. Now.

As we were only 2 minutes from the house, I told her to hold it and stepped on the gas petal. The child’s been potty trained for almost 2 full years now, but still- I’m not taking chances.

When I got the Bean out of the car, she begged to go pee outside. When I told her no, she was beside herself. Scorch goes pee outside all the time and it’s not fair!  Too bad for her, it’s hard to take her seriously when she’s ranting at me while doing the potty dance in her pink polka-dotted Hello Kitty rain boots.

I got her inside in the nick of time and she did her business, but she still wasn’t done with me. Why can’t she do something that Scorch can do anytime he wants? By this time, Scorch is in on it- why can’t ladies pee outside like boys do?

And that, ladies and gentleman, is how I found myself squatting on the ground (fully clothed) giving my kids an anatomy & physics lesson on why peeing in the woods is tough on the ladies.  I’m adding that to my list of things I never thought I’d have to do in my lifetime.