Actual conversation on our way home from camp today:

> Mom, let’s just say I ate an ant. Would it make me sick?

I pretended like I didn’t hear Scorch because frankly, I don’t want to know what prompted this child to ask me that question.

> Mom, I asked you something! Would eating ants make you sick?

I turned up the music louder, hoping to drown him out. I’ve got this parenting thing down pat.

> Mo-oom!

I turned the music down. Clearly he’s not letting this go.

> Scorch, why are you asking me this? Did you eat ants today?

> Just one.

> Just one?! What in the world would possess you to EAT an ANT?!?!

> I don’t know. The other kids were doing it so I thought I’d try. Will it make me sick?

(Now, please remember one of Scorch’s biggest anxiety points is getting sick. The Bean had a 12 hour stomach bug on Tuesday, so he’s a little skittish. I have to weigh my answer carefully. Do I scare the crap out of him and tell him out he could get sooo sick from eating them so he never eats another or do I trying to impress upon him that it’s not a great idea, but it’s not going to harm him?!)

> Scorch, I can honestly tell you that I don’t know as I’ve never eaten an ant. I’m pretty sure you’re going to be fine, but I’m also pretty sure that’s not the healthiest thing to do. Can we just agree that eating ants isn’t a good idea and not do it again?

> *siiiiiigh* Yeah, I guess. But it didn’t taste that bad- it was actually kinda good.

Some days, I have no words.