When I was in my mid-teens I discovered romance novels. Not the bodice-rippers, but the sweet novels where the heroine is a goodhearted mess and the hero is hunky and sensitive and loves to talk about his feelings. My favorite was A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux about a woman that literally prays for a knight to come save her and one does from 200 years in the past. A knight, folks. A real, chivalrous knight who wanted to wipe away tears, hold his woman all night long and cook for her.
Is it any wonder I was so picky about the men I dated?
The Hubs and I got married a month after I turned 23. He was 25 and we thought we knew it all. We had lived together for two years outside of Washington, DC and were successful in managing stressful jobs, a crazy high rent payment and our relationship. Marriage was the logical next step and we both knew we wanted to be with each other so there was no point in waiting.
14 years later, I have zero regrets about marrying the Hubs. Not a one. Saying “I do” was the best decision I have ever made.
The funny thing is the Hubs has never once cooked me a meal and we both hate to cuddle. It’s hot and uncomfortable and I think those couples that are always curled up like puppies together are too polite to tell each other that they can no longer feel half their body. As for talking about his feelings, no. Just no. He is, however, chivalrous and kind and funny and smart and dedicated to our family.
I find it hard to write about our anniversary or our marriage without feeling like I’m blowing sunshine (we are *so* in love and everything is perfect!!) or knocking what we have (this is hard work and we work at it every day damn, some more successfully than others!) when both things are true at the same time.
I do love the Hubs madly and I hope I always will. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t day that I don’t think about smothering him with a pillow. We deal with budgets and small town politics and work stress. We fight about decisions that need to be made and if we actually told the other person things we thought we did. There are days we just stay in separate corners of the house because just looking at each other sets our teeth on edge.
But we still hold hands, go on dates and go to bed early while falling asleep late. We send each other little messages during the day to let the other person know we’re thinking about them. The Hubs is still the first person I can’t wait to share news with. He’s the guy I know inside and out and one that always makes me laugh, even if I am avoiding him. He’s the man who knows my whole history for the past 17 years and who I pledged to love and honor in front of God, family and friends 14 years ago today. He’s not anything close to a romance novel hero, but he’s the man I’m so glad to be writing my life story with.
Here’s to many, many more anniversaries!