Smacked Down


The kiddos started school on Tuesday and we spent all weekend sucking up every ray of sunshine and free time that we could. We went to the pool, kayaked on the lake, had sleepovers and celebrated with both friends and family. In short, it was an amazing weekend. The transition back to school went as smoothly as possible (4th and 2nd grade- how is that possible?!) and the kids are as happy as they can be when back in the classroom. I spent the first day of school catching up with friends and telling everyone how awesome our summer was.

I should have known I’d get smacked down sooner or later.

Yesterday I went to work and started to feel sick as the day went on. Achy and miserable, I finally left the office at 3:30 to grab the kids and come home. My goal was to get the kids from school, come home, take some medicine, whip up some meatballs (super easy- let me know if you want the recipe), boil some pasta, get the Hubs and Scorch to baseball practice and let the Bean drown herself in Netflix while I went to bed. If I played all my cards right, I would be in bed by 5:45.

Instead, I got home and asked Scorch to let the dog out. When doing so, he noticed that our umbrella hooked up to our patio table was tipped over from some wild winds we had earlier in the day. When I went to right the umbrella, the whole glass table top shattered around me. The kids came running outside – with me screeching at them to STOP – to see what happened. After taking in the carnage, the Bean noticed that my wrist was bleeding. In my shock, I didn’t realize the glass cut my wrist, side of my other hand and the top of my feet. They kept asking me if I was Ok, and I kept telling them I didn’t know. I was still holding the damn umbrella with glass everywhere, so I was too concerned about getting the umbrella moved and ensuring no one stepped in glass to pay too much attention to what was happening with me.

Bean started to cry and Scorch kept asking me over and over and over if I had to go to the hospital. I finally got the umbrella down safely and ran to the sink to wash the blood away, with the kids at my feet. Thankfully the cut wasn’t nearly as bad as it seemed, so I slapped a band-aid on it and went out to see how the hell the clean up the half shattered table.

Not this years table. This was the table that shattered two years ago in a wind storm. This year, imagine the table upright with half the glass on the ground and half the glass in the table.

Not this years table. This was the table that shattered two years ago in a wind storm. This year, imagine the table upright with half the glass on the ground and half the glass in the table.

I’ll spare you the details, but an hour later, our trusty shop vac did its job and the deck was clear of any pieces of glass. I honestly debated waiting and letting the Hubs handle it, but I couldn’t do it. It would have made me crazy. Lucky man arrived home just as I was bagging up the last of the glass.

Poor Scorch had two bowls of cereal for dinner but we did mange to get him off to practice on time. With the boys gone, I made Beaner dinner and laid on the couch while she took her bath. Finally, I thought- I’d get her out, give her the tablet and let her watch Netflix while I went to bed. Imagine how pleased I was when I discovered that the wind knocked out out TV, phone and internet too.  She and I ended up having a lovely evening, but no one got to bed before 9, I still feel like death warmed over and we’re in the market for a new patio table again for the second time in two years. Preferably one that isn’t glass topped.

Next time anyone hears me rhapsodizing about how great our summer was, slap me.


About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at

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