Things I Say A Lot. Like, A LOT, a lot.

Yesterday on Facebook, I complained about the sameness of life right now. I realize this is a very first world problem- we are healthy, we are employed, kids are thriving (bored, but thriving). But it’s like Groundhog’s Day.

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I get up, I work out, I shower, I dress. The kids stumble awake by 9ish and start their school work. We all work until noon-ish and I make lunch. The kids do their thing, I work. I get done working and we go for a walk. I make dinner. We eat, the kids go in their rooms, the Hubs and I watch whatever we’re watching on TV. We go to bed by 10, the kids go to bed by 10:30 and we do it allllllll over again the next day.

Because of this, I find myself saying the same things over and over again. Here’s a small sample of what gets said at least 3x a week:

Ask Google. No, seriously, ask Google.
Google it. It’s super simple, just put your equation in and Google will solve it AND give you the steps.
If one of you a-holes hurts yourselves, this is NOT the time to go to the ER.
Honestly, I don’t care what you watch as long as it’s not rated R.
Oh, THAT’s rated R? What does Common Sense Media say? Ok, sure, watch it.
Nope, I don’t know where your AirPod case/phone/paper is.
Your room is a hellhole, clean it up and I promise you’ll find what you’re looking for.
I never TOOK Spanish, how can I help you with that? Ask Google.
Don’t ask me what’s for dinner- it’s on the calendar. It’s the ONLY thing on the calendar.
I swear to GOD – if I find a wet towel on your bedroom floor…
Did you brush your teeth today?
YES, you need to brush your teeth every day. Multiple times a day are best- no, I’m not kidding.
You’ve been wearing that shirt for HOW long?
Dude, your mustache is creepy, not cool. Shave, for the love of God.
You are not a freaking TROLL, turn on a light and stop sitting in the dark.
No, you can’t sleep with your phone in your room.
Just go outside- I don’t care what you do. Just get some sunlight on your body.
Yes, we’re going on another hike. There is literally nothing else to do.
Read a book. Yes, a real one. Read a book and I’ll pay you $10.
This is NOT social distancing. You don’t need on my lap every time we watch TV.
Jesus Christ – both of you, stop tackling me, you can’t delay bedtime forever.
Holy shit, we’re almost 10 weeks in, how do you NOT know how to print something?!
The dishwasher isn’t a decorative piece – put your dishes IN THERE.