20. | Wickedly Crazy Awesome Life

Dear Scorch –

You’re now 20 years old. What the fuckity fuck kind of bullshit is that? (Since you’re not even a teenager anymore, I’m going to swear now). How did we even get here so fast?

Raising you and your sister has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Being your mom has been my greatest joy, greatest privilege, and the thing I am most proud of. Not because I take credit for the amazing people you have become, but because I got to nurture your kind hearts and bright spirits and, hopefully, helped you shine.

When I look at your – this 20-year-old that is taller than I am, with a 5 o’clock shadow, and unruly hair – I see every version of you that I’ve loved. The joyful, giggling baby who wanted to be held all the time. The toddler who never really went through the terrible two and three-ager as badly as others. The little boy who loved school and his friends and baseball. The tween who had the best sense of humor, never met a stranger, and loved to tell me all about his day. The teenager who worked hard and loved big, enjoying every minute of life. The college kid who went away, joined a team, made all new friends and learned how to cut his own steak. You literally take my breath away sometimes.

If the end of the age 17 and the start of age 18 sucked (which it really did), the rest of 18 and all of 19 were a blast! We’ve had some hiccups, you and I, as I figured out how to navigate raising a near-adult and you figured out, well, everything. I know I still make you crazy by reminding you about things that you have fully under control, but I appreciate you humoring me when I do. You’ve matured a ton this year and sometimes I forget that – so bear with me. But watching you juggle football, classes, your relationship, your friendships, and work is such a privilege because, holy shit, you’re doing it! It’s not always pretty and sometimes balls are dropped, but more often than not, you’re absolutely killing it.

So, now you’re 20. You have your Associates degree. You’ve been away at college for 2 years and hopefully you’ll get your Bachelor’s degree in 2027. You’re moving off campus this year with friends, working two jobs this summer, and (hopefully) be on the Varsity football team this year. Here’s what I wish for your this year:

I hope that you continue to work hard and stay humble. Own what you don’t know and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Expectations are high, but you have a whole village willing to help you out, go to bat for you, teach you what you don’t know, and cheer you on. Don’t take it for granted, and make sure you take advantage of all that life’s afforded you.
Continue to be kind. Use the lessons you learn in your community outreach through football and your classes to help make the world a better place for everyone. You’ve lived a life of privilege, so lift up and give back.
Learn your own mind. Try stuff out. Talk to others. Find out what makes your blood sing and your heart race and pursue that. Your life is yours to live as you’d like, so make it a good one and don’t be afraid to pivot if something isn’t working.
Keep pushing yourself. You’re capable of so much, so put the effort in on and off the field. Don’t settle for good enough – life’s too short for that.