Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Mar1

Tuesday’s Children

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I have a love / hate relationship with Tuesdays.

Living in a small town, our options for activities for the kids are a little bit limited.  As it happens, all the activities we have the kids enrolled in are on Tuesdays.  Bean has a 1 hour gymnastics class in the morning, then a 30 minute swim lesson at night.  Scorch has school in the morning (including PE & 2 recesses), then 60 minutes of swim at night.  In a lot of ways, our Tuesday nights are a blast, especially when we’re at the pool!  The Bean and I attend her lesson for 30 mins while the Hubs and Scorch do free swim before D’s lesson.  It’s a great way to unwind and have some fun with the kiddos.

Getting out of the pool is a whole other ball game.

Tonight there was the fun of the last minute bathroom run for both kids. Ever try to shimmy a wet suit off a kid who is doing the pee-pee dance? Damn near impossible- but we made it, barely.

Then there is trying to get them both dressed as they are jumping around the dressing room singing “I am a Rock Star!” as loudly as they can while playing the air guitar.  (No idea where they got that from!)

On the drive home, Scorch tries (unsuccessfully, I might add) to talk me into stopping at the store to get him a treat (read: toy) because he “was so good at swim!”  Again child, good behavior is not rewarded with toys- when will he realize that?

After dinner, it’s bath time. The kids are clearly showing signs of being tired and it certainly doesn’t help that bath time is happening at what should be bedtime because we get home so late from swim. The Hubs and I made the tactical error of putting the kids in the bath together. This worked great up until a few months ago but now they are both too big, the tub is too small and they bicker over everything- who has the most bubbles, who plays with which toy, who gets cleaned up first, who gets out first.  We solved the last two problems by all cramming into our tiny bathroom and washing both kids at the same time and taking them out at the same time.

Well, I thought that would solve our problems. What that did is cause poor Scorch to completely go off the deep end and have a sobbing fest about how his day at school was so hard and how he’s so tired.  It’s was actually really pathetic- I couldn’t even get frustrated because I felt so sorry for the kid.

Finally, PJs were on, books were read and hugs and kisses were given.  As Scorch was going to bed, he told me that our family night tonight in the pool was the best time ever.  And that right there is why we’ll do this all over again next week.

Feb28

You’re Not the Boss of Me!

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On Sunday morning, Scorch had a meltdown.

The reason? Bean wanted to have her usual for breakfast- waffles- and Scorch wanted her to have cereal.

When Bean was little (well, littler) she would basically go along with just about anything Scorch wanted- music, food, movies, books. Whatever- if Scorch was happy, Bean was happy.   Those days are clearly behind us.  At 2.5 years old, Bean knows what she wants and that is that.

And Sunday morning, Bean wanted waffles.

Scorched carried on like she ran over his dog. “But…she’s hurting my feelings! Why won’t she eat what I want her to eat? She always eats the same things and it’s boring!”

Then he resorted to bribery. “Bean- if you’ll have cereal with Big Brother, then I’ll let you play with my basketball!”

He then moved on to bargaining. “Beany- if you eat cereal today, then I’ll eat waffles with you tomorrow!” (all said in a very sing-song voice).

But she wouldn’t budge.  Finally the poor boy came to realize- 25 minutes later- that he’s simply not the boss of his little sister any more.

 

Feb24

Love Thursday: Lucky Me

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At dinner time, Scorch told me that I was the best cook ever because I made him French toast.  While putting the Bean to bed, she told me I was beautiful and too funny when I let her brush my hair.

My first thought was that I hope I always remain a rock star in my kid’s eyes. My second was how very lucky I was to be here having these conversation with my kids at all.

2 years ago today I got into a car accident.  I was so very lucky it wasn’t worse then it was- I walked away with cracked ribs, bad bruising and a damaged knee, but no lasting damage.  If the car that I collided with had hit me 2 feet to the left of where it did, the damage would have been much more significant.  If I had had the kids with me in the car, I’m not sure Scorch would be here any more (a thought that gave me nightmares for months).

 

I have a lot to be thankful every day- but today,  I’m especially thankful I’m here to play with my kids and to relax with my husband at all.  Happy Love Thursday, all!

Feb23

Homecoming

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11 weeks and 2 days after she was born, Baby Lala is home!  Born at 1 lb 14 oz, Lala is now up over 5 lbs- sent home without a single wire or monitor.  Red and TBO are free to pick her up and love on her as much as they want without worrying (too much) about schedules and over stimulation.

It’s a beautiful thing.

 

 

Feb22

Finding the Carrot

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Scorch is an uncomplicated guy. If you want him to do something, all you really have to do is whip up a sticker chart, tell him he has to get so many stickers for doing whatever you’d like him to do and then give him a present when he does.  It really doesn’t matter what you give him- a gumball, a bouncy ball or a football.  All he cares about is that it’s new and it’s his.  This technique worked when he was 18 months old and it still works now at almost 5 years old- the carrot of more stickers leading to a toy will almost always guarantee his cooperation.

I have yet to figure out what Bean’s carrot is  which is a giant pain in the rear when trying to potty train her.

She really doesn’t get excited about things- stickers, toys- like Scorch does.  While she loves chocolate as much as the next girl, she doesn’t love it enough to do something she doesn’t want to.  Outings to an exciting place- bounce house, science museum, Applebees- are a lot of fun but still not enough.

I cannot for the life of me figure out what makes this child tick. While I don’t do this while trying to potty training her, I have resorted to time-outs or threats of taking toys away to force her into helping me or picking up a mess she made.  Nada. She really doesn’t care.  She just digs in her heels and will not budge until she’s good and ready- there is simply no combination to her.

Her teenage years should be a blast!

Feb21

Potty Mouth

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There are a lot of words that adults say that I don’t blink an eye at – butt,  fart, crap. But when they come out of the month of my kids, they just don’t sound right.

Ever since the kids were little, we’ve substituted in more kid friendly terms.  Farts becomes toots.  Butt becomes hiney. Potty words, like poop & pee, were only allowed in the bathroom.  The Hubs and I laid the groundwork for this when the kids were little and I never really gave it a second thought.

But now the universe is conspiring against us. First, we’re potty training the Bean, so potty talk (at least the words pee and poop) has become just about every other word out of our mouth as we try to get this child out of diapers. There is a kid’s potty chair in my dining room for crying out loud!  Add in the fact that Scorch is a normal almost-5 year old who thinks the word “butt” is the funniest term in the English language and I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.

Do I  start to seriously crack down and put my kids in timeout every time an offensive term comes out of their mouth? Or do I loosen up a bit and chalk it up to growing up? Am I making the words more appealing to the kids because I don’t like them and they get a reaction out of me each time they say them?

I realize in the grand scheme, this is small potatoes. But I feel like if I don’t figure out now how far I can be pushed, I’m really screwed when the kiddos get older.

Feb17

Love Thursday: Nuts!

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Happy Love Thursday, all!  One of the things I love most about having kids is never, ever knowing what’s going to come out of their mouth next. The kiddos crack us up every day, but there is one time about a year ago Scorch left us speechless.  I never want to forget it, so I thought I’d share it here…

After a long day, the Hubs, Scorch and I were in the bathroom while the Hubs was giving Scorch a bath.  In the middle of  chit chatting about our day, The Hubs asks Scorch to stand up so he could wash his belly.

“And my nuts?” Scorch asks.

“Whaaat?” the Hubs asks as I stand there with my mouth on the floor.

“Are you going to wash my nuts?”

The Hubs immediately loses his mind, hides his face in his arm and turns beat red trying not to laugh out loud.

I reganed my composure & asked Scorch to repeat himself one more time. Mind you, Scorch was only 3 years old at the time so I didn’t think he knew what nuts was slang for (hell, he’s almost 5 and still doesn’t know!), but he was going to school and lord only knows what he may have overheard. 

Scorch  repeats the same thing.  By this time, the Hubs has just about burst a blood vessel because he’s silently laughing so hard and had to excuse himself from the room.

So I ask Scorch to show us his nuts just to confirm we were all on the same page. 

The sweet kid points to his stomach and goes “You know- the nuts I had for snack that are in my belly.”
 
OHHHHH..those nuts! Thank GOD!

Feb16

When To Speak Up?

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I had a long day at work, so I decided to boycott cooking.  We met the Hubs at a local family-friendly chain for dinner and ice cream.  We go to this particular place at least twice a month if not more- it’s relatively cheap, kids are welcome and the food is good.  And up until now we’ve always had a great experience.

We got to the resturaunt at 6:05 and I finally had to ask one of the 4 servers walking by if they could send our server over at 6:25.  No one had greeted us after we were sat- no one took our drink order or told us they’d be right with us. I asked the lady very nicely and wasn’t at all rude.  The lady I flagged down went to get our server and I hear our server say (quite loudly)- “she’s lying! They’ve been here less then 5 minutes.”

Umm..yeah.

The Hubs was not happy with me. He doesn’t complain about anything when we go out to eat. His food could be cold and raw and he’d grin and say it was great because the Hubs does not like making waves. I think he’s worried someone will spit in his food back in the kitchen.

The kid’s food came out within 15 minutes of ordering. Which was great if the macaroni wasn’t cold and the hot dog burned. 10 minutes later the Hub’s food came out.  5 minutes later, mine came out.  The kids and I left 1 hour and 10 minutes after getting there, leaving the Hubs to order and pick up our ice cream because our server never came back to check on us.

Now I don’t know if the place was short staffed or if our server just had a bad day.  I didn’t say anything before we left simply because the Hubs would have died right then and there of mortification.  And honestly, I don’t like to complain. I know servers work damn hard and I hate getting people in trouble, but our experience was just plain bad today.

So I ask you- when do you speak up? How do you go about doing it- at the time? Sending a letter after the fact?

Feb15

Sick Bed

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Last night at dinner, the Bean didn’t eat her bread.  This alarmed me greatly as this child would live on bread and butter if you let her.  Then she turned down her Valentine’s Day cupcake.  I knew right then and there she was sick.  When she asked to go to bed and wanted me to put her down instead of the Hubs, I figured the world was ending.

I kept the baby monitor right by me all evening and night waiting for the blow I knew was coming.  But all I heard was silence. So I got up and out of the house by 5:15 to head to the gym and didn’t give the Bean’s health a second thought.

When I got home, the Hubs was rinsing out the bath tub- the Bean had gotten sick.  I asked where she was and he told me she was laying in my bed.  I have to admit- I had conflicting thoughts about this.  My first thought was naturally hoping she feels better. But my second was fervently praying she didn’t get sick in my bed or worse yet on me.

After draping myself with a towel or four, I climbed into my bed with the Beaner for some cuddling. I noticed there was a towel already laid down under her and I mentally gave the Hubs props for thinking ahead.  While Beaner clearly didn’t feel well, it seems like getting sick was a one and done deal so I slowly peeled off my layers of protective towels as the morning went on (the puke bucket, however, stayed within arms reach all day long).

The Hubs called to check in shortly after I put Beaner down for her nap. After I gave him the status update, I thanked him for putting the towel down on our bed just in case.

The Hubs: “Just in case what?”

Me: “Just in case the Bean got sick in our bed after you cleaned her up.”

The Hubs: “Heather- how do you think I knew she was sick? She threw up in our bed.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. She puked, you cleaned her up, changed her- then you put a towel over the mess on our bed and laid her back down in it?!”

The Hubs: “It was only a little bit of puke- what’s the big deal?”

*sigh*

***********

Thankfully the Bean is feeling better as of this evening. Not nearly as clingy- which is a blessing for us all. Scorch, on the other hand, left the house for an hour this evening looking completely normal and came back home with a raging case of pink eye.  So I’ve traded in the fun of wrestling my daughter to get medicine in her last week to wrestling my son to get eye drops in him.   The fun never stops ’round these parts!

Feb14

My Favorite Valentine

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I don’t talk about the Hubs here very often.  He’s pretty private and I try to respect that as much as possible.  So I’ll keep this short and simple.

Marriage can be hard- anyone who tells you differently lives a much more charmed life than I do.  Moves, demanding jobs, infertility, miscarriages, raising two kids, owning two businesses on top of our normal 9-5 jobs- all those things take a toll on a relationship. It’s easy to start taking each other for granted, to put everything else first except each other.  And the Hubs and I have been guilty of that.

But at the end of the day, we love each other deeply.  We fight for each other and stand by each other.  We know that our marriage and our family is our top priority.  Neither one of us is given to sweeping gestures and declarations of love. Instead, we show each other our love through cars warmed up and scraped off on a cold winter’s morning. By remembering each others favorite food when we surprise the other one with takeout.  By DVRing random movies we think the other person may like. By asking each other every day how the others day was and ending every phone conversation with an “I love you.”

I’m very lucky to be married to the man that I am.  Our good days vastly outweigh our bad ones and when things do get crazy, the Hubs is the one I want to face every day with.

Happy Valentine’s Day!