Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Dec21

I don’t do puke

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Some people are really good when their family is sick. They hold it together, they tend to the sick and they solider on.

I am not one of those people.

I’m really good with blood and cuts and bruises and falls but I am not good with puke.  I come by this honestly- my mother also didn’t do puke when we were growing up.  When my kids get sick, the Hubs handles the sick kid and I go down stairs to do the dirty laundry for 15 or 20 mins while the storm passes.  I always conveniently reemerge when the kiddo is cleaned up and ready to go back to bed. If they want to cuddle before going back to bed, I make sure to cover myself in at least 3 or 4 towels just in case.

Last night, the Hubs got sick.  Instead of feeling badly for him, my mind immediately went into crisis mode.  Where to put the kids puke buckets for easy access.  How to avoid getting sick myself.  Ways we could still celebrate Christmas if we’re stuck at home.

So far, the kids and I are still healthy but I’ll be on Red Alert until at least this time tomorrow waiting for the axe to fall.  In the mean time, I’m trying to convince the Hubs to go live in the car until he feels better.  He’ll have heat, fully reclining seats and DVD player- what more does he really need?

 

Dec20

Being Santa

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There are a lot of things that no one tells you about being a parent.  Like the need to always, always carry a roll of paper towels in your car just in case. Or to pad in an extra 15 minutes when trying to figure out when to leave for an event in case of blow outs or a toddler insisting on doing everything herself.  Or how funny you’ll find your kid even when they are being completely inappropriate (Bean’s new nickname for me? Mrs. Poopyhead.  Not at all acceptable, but freaking hysterical. The Hubs has to excuse himself after she calls me that so she doesn’t see him laugh).

I was also never told how hard it is to be Santa.

When we were little, my parents rocked at being Santa. I can’t remember 99.9% of the gift I received, but I can tell you about the letters we got from Santa every year.  Each of us kids got one- they were always hidden at the very end of our present pile to prolong the suspense.  They were typically a long poem with a few stanzas about what we did that year- accomplishments, goals reached, milestones- a discussion on how proud Santa was of us and then a stanza with a riddle to answer. The answer to the riddle would lead us to our Big Gift of the year.  These letters from Santa, always written in my father’s very distinctive handwriting, continued long after we stopped believing and were the highlight of our mornings.

Since the kids were born, we’ve been able to keep the holidays pretty low key.  Last year was the first year Scorch started to catch on to the excitement so we ramped thing up a bit. But this year? Holy monkey, the boy’s head may explode.  Beaner is just super excited because Scorch is.  She has no idea what’s going on and Santa still freaks her out, but darn it- if Scorch is that excited, it’s gotta be good so she’s just as bouncy as he is.

Given that, I decided to try to write a poem for each kid this year.  Can’t be hard, right? I mean, I write for a living. I have a blog. I can totally write a short poem for each kid leading them to a gift, right?  Yeah.

So far, for Scorch I’ve got-

This year, you’re in a new class in school!
Isn’t that cool?

I wonder if I can get my father to write this for me?

Dec16

Love Thursday: Give Back

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There has been a lot going on over the past 2 weeks that have weighed on me in varying degrees.  The major stuff is obviously Red and Baby Lala (who continues to do really well in the NICU).  Add in the typical pre-holiday stress, crappy weather, a cold, a crazy work load and other annoying day-to-day stuff and today I woke up in a Chicken Little-like tizzy.  The sky was falling, y’all.

Only it wasn’t- but I needed my perspective tweaked to figure that out.  And this post did it for me.  Jenny, the author, was giving out $600 worth of gift cards to people who needed them.  People with sick kids. People out of work. People who wanted to pay back some kindness. People who just wanted to get their kids Christmas presents and couldn’t afford to do so.

And my problems? They didn’t seem so big anymore.  I have a great husband and two amazingly healthy, smart kiddos. My bank account may not be as robust as I’d like it to be, but I know we’re damn lucky.  I spent my night having dinner with my family and playing a crazy game of hide-and-seek with a 2 year old and a 4 year old who giggle the entire time they are hiding in the same 3 spots over and over.  Kids who ask for hugs and kisses and spend an hour coloring pictures for Lala’s NICU crib.

Yup, I’m blessed.

During this time of year, I encourage you all who are equally as blessed to give back. Donate to Toys for Tots. Find a local Giving Tree. Sponsor a family. Donate to your local food bank.  Give something- I promise it’ll come back to you tenfold in one way or another.

Dec15

One of Those Nights

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We try to take the kids out for dinner a few times a month. It’s a nice change of pace, it gives everyone a break from my cooking and it gives us a chance to teach our monsters how to behave in public. Most of the time, dinner out is a great way to spend the evening together without being distracting by the phone, the dishes or the dog.

And then you have nights like tonight.

The kids and I arrived to Friendly’s first- the Hubs was meeting us after working out.  Scorch had had a meltdown in the car on the way over, but had pulled it together before we got inside.  The kids were doing fine- coloring, drinking their milk and generally behaving themselves.  And then the Hubs showed up.

No idea why, but this caused both kids to just lose it.  Both wanted to sit with me.  Scorch, who ended up sitting next to the Hubs for the meal, sobbed the entire time pleading to come sit on my side.  I felt terrible for the Hubs who just wanted a nice dinner with us and I felt badly for Scorch because this is just not how he normally acts so something was out of wack.  In all the craziness, the Bean managed to knock over my soda onto my lap, so I spent 75% of the meal in wet, sticky pants with my shoes stuck to the floor.

Our poor server had no idea what to do and brought us our to-go cartons about 2 minutes into our meal in the hopes, I would imagine, that we’d get the hell out of there before people started complaining.  We took the hint, packed our food up and left before it got worse.

On the way home, I had a long talk with Scorch about how he hurt the The Hubs feeling by not wanting to sit next to him. This prompted round #2348 of sobbing with Scorch saying we didn’t love him anymore.  The best part though was the Bean. During all the sobbing, Beaner was laughing her head off screaming “I love you, Mommy!! and you love me!!”  Scorch was not amused, although I was.

Thank God for bedtime. And the to-go ice cream we got from Friendlys.

Dec14

The Morning Routine

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Every weekday morning is the same scramble to get out of the house on time for school.

“Scorch- eat faster!”

“Dude- white t-shirt goes under your long sleeved shirt.”

“Bean, sit still and let me try to get a comb through your crazy hair.”

The kids do more or less what’s asked of them while running around like wild monkeys. Each morning breakfast is eaten, kids are dressed, hair is combed, teeth are brushed, shoes are slipped on and we, miraculously, make it to school more or less on time.

But now, it’s snowing most days and this seems to add at least 10 minutes on to our morning routine. Boots need to be put on and sneakers packed.  Then there is the daily fight with Beaner on whether or not she needs to wear a hat. Most days, quite frankly, I throw my hands up and let her freeze.  Thank goodness she has figured out how to put her jacket on herself because before she did, that was a 5 minute battle with one of us trying to jam her coat on her all the while she’s shrieking “Me do it myself! No help!!”

And then we go outside. Scorch wants to shovel on the way to the car- which means he’s taking the snow from the yard and tossing it on the driveway. Not helpful.  Beaner wants to walk- but not the car. She wants to walk into the snow- which is all fun and games until she hits a hill in our yard with drifts bigger than her.

Finally both kids are corralled into the car.  I immediately take Beans boots off once she’s buckled in because if I don’t, she’ll eat the snow off the bottom of her boots.  Charming, no?

Once we get to school, it’s boots back on her, hustling into school and then taking boots off and putting sneakers back on Scorch. If I’m lucky, Bean will sit quietly while I do this. If I’m not so lucky, I have mornings like today where she takes her boots and socks off and dances in the hallway barefoot while signing “1-2-3 Jesus Loves me!” as loudly as she can. Thankfully she’s 2 and adorable as all get out even when she’s being a total PITA, so most people think it’s funny.

Except for me. I’m so tired by this point I just want to go back to bed even though I’ve been up only 1 hour and 15 mins so far! Thank goodness we only have 3+ more months of this weather!

 

Dec13

Buddy, The Elf

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Last year, my mother-in-law got us our very own Elf on the Shelf.

And last year, Buddy, our elf, scared the ever loving life out of Scorch.  All it took was moving Buddy one time and Scorch was over it. This elf was freaky and Scorch was scared witless over the fact he “moved” when we were all sleeping.  After two nights in a row of Scorch having nightmares about elves sneaking into his room, Buddy went back to the North Pole for the year.

This year, we brought Buddy out with some trepidation and re-introduced him to the kids.  They love that elf**, but he’s making my life a living hell.

According to the story book that came with Buddy, the Elf moves around each night to a new spot in order to observe the kids from a new place each day.  The problem is I keep forgetting to move him.  There is nothing worse then Scorch waking up and wondering first thing why Buddy didn’t move yet.

I’ve fudged my way through this twice by explaining that since we don’t leave any lights on in our house at night, Buddy couldn’t see where he was going so he opted to wait until we all went to school/work.  Scorch seems to be buying it.  As for me, I’m just lucky Scorch can’t read the big “MOVE THE ELF!!!!!” sign I posted up on the mirror in my room.

**Oddly enough, the Bean loves the elf, but is still convinced Santa’s coming to our house next week for the express purpose of blowing on her belly button. She sobbed about just that while we were in line to see Santa this weekend and didn’t want anything to do with him.

Dec10

Love.

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Love is a funny thing.

The minute I laid eyes on Scorch after he was born, I was in love.  It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I stared at his fat cheeks and his single dimple and his widows peak and that was that. Love in its purest form.

When the Bean was born it wasn’t quite like that.  Labor and, subsequently, delivery came on hard and fast- there was no time for pain meds.  It was the middle of the night, The Hubs was in shock over how quickly things progressed and the variety of swear words I was hurling at everyone. My nurses and doctors were less then helpful. Once Bean was born, she cried for 3 hours straight and nothing- nothing– we did calmed her down.  I remember looking down at her red, angry face wondering what the hell we just got ourselves into. It wasn’t until later that morning- around 5 am- when it was just her and I and she was nursing that the love for her hit me.

~~~~~~~~

Red sent out new pictures of LaLa last night.  I don’t know this child- I never had the chance to feel her kick in Red’s stomach. I’ve never touched her soft skin or nuzzled her tiny head.  But there it was again. That love.  It’s a different love then I have for my own kids, but still strong. That instant bond of family- the bond that says you belong to us. You’re so wanted. We will fight for you.  I cannot wait to start nibbling on those cheeks of hers when she’s older!

Dec9

Stumped (Or: What to Buy a 2 Year Old?)

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I’m deep into Santa-mode here.  We have a relatively large family, so about 3 years ago I started a spreadsheet of who we need to buy for, ideas for what to get, what I actually bought them and the cost.  It’s color coded, of course. Black for needs to still be bought, red for already purchased (totally not kidding).

Out of the 20+ names on this list of people to buy for one only name has nothing under either the ideas OR the gifts bought column.  That person? Beaner.

I am completely, totally stumped on what to buy my 2 year old daughter.  Every where I look, I’m finding ideas for Scorch.  In fact, I may have bought him so much that I’ll have to save stuff for his birthday.

It shouldn’t be too hard to buy for a 2 year old girl, right?

I walked through an entire Toys R Us today and nothing sparked my interest. She has a small fascination with Tinker Bell, but do I really want to start feeding into the Disney Princess/Fairy love that I’m sure will come fast enough on its own? Some of those aisles looked like a Pepto-Bismol bottle exploded over them and I just can’t stand that much pink in my house. She’s getting the most coveted gifts from her grandparents and is honestly just as happy running around, hanging off the furniture, playing with Scorch’s dinosaurs as she is anything else.

I did get her some Play-Dough, activity books and giant coloring book. I may just re-wrap some of her old toys and hope she doesn’t notice.

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According to the NICU doc today, no one bothered to tell Lala that she’s a 28 week old preemie because she certainly isn’t acting like one! That little girl is amazing people left and right with how well she continues to do. 🙂 Red got to change her diaper and take her temp today, which is awesome! I can’t imagine how hard it is not to hold your baby whenever you want, so I’m thrilled she got more hands on time with her baby.  Hoping TBO gets to interact more with Lala soon too!

Red goes home from the hospital tomorrow, so if you can all spare some good thoughts because I can’t imagine leaving Lala will be an easy thing to do.

Dec8

Bee-bo

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There are two things we have been doing a lot lately with the Bean:

1) Talking about Santa coming. That jolly old elf is an awesome, awesome threat this time of year- all I have to do is say “Santa’s watching…” and the kids straighten right up

2) Reading her Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton. It’s been her favorite book forever and it gets read at least nightly by her father.  When the Hubs is done reading it to her, he immediately starts blowing raspberries on her bee-bo (the name the baby hippo in the book calls his belly button) and they laugh until she gets hiccups.

Somehow in her 2 year old mind, the Bean has gotten the two things- Santa and her bee-bo- combined.  Anytime we see Santa, she asks two things- is Santa coming to our house (yes) and will Santa blow on her bee-bo when he does (no).  This bee-bo blowing is a major concern because she will tell you in no uncertain terms that Santa should not blow on her belly.  Only daddy can do that.

I’m not sure why Beaner thinks Santa is a belly-button-blowing creep, but it’s hysterically funny to see her cover up her belly each and every time she see’s him!
~~~~~

Lala had another very quiet, uneventful night last night and day today!  Her jaundice is a tad bit worse, but it’s not in to the scary range yet, so the docs just added more billi lights to her tanning bed.  Red got to see her a few times and hopefully soon she  can start changing her diaper and taking her temp.

 

 

Dec7

1 lb 14 oz

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When my sister, Red,  and her husband, TBO, were dealing with infertility I understood the world they were living in. We may have undergone different procedures, but I spoke the language. IUI. IVF. 2WW. BFN. U/S. And then finally, BFP. I could commiserate and offer advice. It’s not a road anyone wants to walk down, but at least Red & TBO weren’t walking it alone.

~~~~

Red’s pregnancy went from routine to high risk last Friday.  Then on Sunday it went from high risk to critical. Family was called and we all started living on pins and needles.

Yesterday morning it was decided that it was safer for everyone if Red had the baby.  She was only 28 weeks along, but my niece wasn’t growing fast enough and Red’s health was in danger.

Yesterday afternoon my niece, LaLa, was born weighing 1 lb 14 oz.  Amazingly enough, she was born crying. Even more amazingly, she’s breathing on her own with minimal assistance and her heart rate and blood pressure are picture perfect. I believe the nurses even called her a rock star.  Red, thankfully, is also recovering well from her surgery!

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There are so many things that absolutely stink about this situation- namely that a teeny-tiny baby will spending the next few months in the NICU.  For the family that lives 350 miles away from Red, TBO and LaLa, it’s the feeling of helplessness. Red & TBO were forced into a whole new world yesterday, a world that the vast majority of us have never even visited yet alone lived in.  Thankfully they aren’t without some great resource both within our extended family and their friends to help them along.  I just wish there was more the rest of us could do besides hope and pray.