Category Archives: Bean

Apr13

Just So

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There is a lot about raising kids that I love, and there is a lot about raising kids that mystifies me.  The things my kids choose to sleep with is one of those things that I just don’t understand and gave up trying to figure out a long time ago.

The Bean, bless her little soul, still sleeps in a crib.  As far as I’m concerned she can stay there until she’s 7 if she stays small enough.  It keeps her contained and I don’t have to worry about what she’s climbing on, getting into and/or eating for those 12 glorious hours a night she’s sleeping.  She typically goes down to bed very easily at night, but only if things in her crib are just so.

First, she needs to have water and a cup with at least 10 mini-Nilla waffers (don’t judge me people) in it.  Her stuffed animals- her mama polar bear, baby polar bear, kitty and brown bear must be down at the foot of her crib.  She needs to have 2 clean tissues to the right of her head- these tissues need to be straight out of the box. Unused tissues from the night before aren’t good enough because they are rumpled up- new tissues only.  She also needs to sleep with at least 2 pacifiers- one in her mouth and one next to the clean tissues.  And last, but not least, the Bean also needs to be holding on to the a 2nd baby polar bear stuffed animal and needs to be covered up with her special pink blanket. Heaven take pity on you if that blanket is dirty because the Bean sure won’t!

As for Scorch, well he needs to sleep with an assortment of at least 15 different stuffed animals in his twin sized bed with him.  He’s not too particular about their placement except for a few.  His cheetah and gray cat have to be at the foot of his bed to scare off any monsters and he needs to sleep with his lamb and his frog by his head.  He must also sleep with a bunch of other crap- Iron Man figurine, Hot Wheels, and occasionally a rock or three.  All that crap must go next to his head on top of his Pillow Pet covered up by his NY Giants pillow to keep them all warm.  I have no idea why he insists on having all that stuff in his bed- but usually by the time Scorch’s bed time comes around I’m too damn tired to fight him on any of it.  I figure I’ll let his wife deal with it when he gets married. Better her then me because he can be one stubborn little boy!

 

 

Apr12

Too Cool for School

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Last week, a friend asked if I would bring the Bean to a college class that her husband taught.  He wanted his students to get a chance to observe infants and toddlers- to see how they play, how they learn and how they react to things.  I agreed immediately with the big disclaimer that I had no idea- none what so ever- how the Bean would react in front of a class full of college kids.  Would she charm them? Cling to me?  Throw a fit? Ignore them all and play quietly?  With Bean you literally never know what you’re going to get one minute to the next.

So today was the day.  We had been talking for two days about going to Mr. Steve’s class and playing with the big kids. We practiced how we’d show them how the Bean hops, how she can find her body parts, and we talked about stories she could tell. I may or may not have also tempted her with the promise of M&M’s if she was good, so I was feeling good walking into the classroom.

At first, Bean was enthralled with the puzzles so I was able to sneak away and let her play with the students.  I was mentally high-fiving myself thinking I was now going to have an hour to talk to the other mom’s there- women who I don’t spend enough time with even though I wish I did- while the Bean was babysat by 30 college kids.   Yeah- I’m an idiot.  The Bean lasted all of 2 minutes before she noticed I was gone and she made a beeline right back to me.

That started the clingy phase of the class, where she would only do something if she was also hanging on to me.  She didn’t want to play, she didn’t want color, she didn’t want to read and she didn’t want to answer any of the questions asked to her.  She wanted to sit on my lap and watch the students watch her.  So…yeah, that’s fun for everyone.

At Mr. Steve’s suggestion, we implemented Plan B and took Bean out to the hallway to see if she’d loosen up by running around.  Nope- the only way she’d run was if she was chasing me half laughing and half crying the whole time.  Do you know how dumb 30-something me felt running around the hallway with my 2 year old chasing me in front of 8 teenagers just standing there watching us?  Thank God I have no pride or shame- parenthood is good getting rid of those.

After that fun we moved back into the classroom where, with a combination of great students, cookies and an fun coloring book, Bean finally, finally warmed up.  She turned on the charm and answered questions, played and was generally having a ball.  It only took 50 minutes of the 60 minute class.

At the end of the class, Bean was saying she wanted to go back every week and play with her new friends! As for me, I’m game as long as there are more muffins.

 

 

 

Mar29

Driving me Crazy

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Last night as I was putting the Bean to bed, she started her night time stalling routine.  After the umpteenth time asking for food/potty/tissue/not this pacifier, that pacifier/water, I finally chuckled a little under my breath.  It was either that or cry as I still had to get Scorch ready for bed and I was ready to drop myself.  Beaner asked why I just chuckled and I told her she was driving me crazy.

“I not driving you crazy, I making you laugh!”

Seriously- that child is so lucky the times she makes me laugh still way out weigh the times she drives me to drink.

 

Mar25

Winning!

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I just got thrown up on by my daughter (poor Bean!).  I didn’t drop her and/or throw her across the room. Nor did I freak out, yell, or launch myself immediately into a scalding hot shower.  I reacted calmly with lots of reassuring back rubs and loving words even though I was gagging on the inside and resisting the unbelievably strong urge to strip down to get the soiled clothes of me.

Who’s Mother of the Year? Oh yeah- ME!

Mar15

2 am Conversations

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The Bean is a force to be reckoned with- that’s an undisputed fact.  She came into this world in hurry, she cried for the first 3 hours of her life and she basically turned our lives upside down from minute one is a million different ways.  For the first six months of her life, Beaner was a crappy sleeper.  The only way to get any sleep at all was to have her in bed with me.  I say me because by the time she was 3 months old she was too big and too wiggly for the Hubs to feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed with her and I.

For almost every night for 3 months, the Hubs opted to sleep on the couch just so he could get some uninterrupted sleep. You see, Bean didn’t sleep well with us- it wasn’t like cuddling with me made her sleep better or longer. She just didn’t sleep at all and having her in bed with me just allowed me to soothe her before she woke up Scorch (who is also a really terrible sleeper).

We took Bean in for her 6 month well baby visit on her 6 months birthday and her doctor told me that I could let her cry it out if I wanted.  6 months was the earliest I would even consider it regardless of how badly we were all sleeping and the doctor confirmed that she was finally big enough to give it a try.

So that night, I sent the Hubs out with his friends to watch a basketball game (the man cannot be around a crying baby without comforting them) and I gave it ago.  She cried for 37 mins (I checked on her every 10 minutes) and then she fell asleep. She didn’t sleep through the night because she was still nursing, but within 3 nights she happily put herself to sleep every single night.  By the time she was a year old, she slept 12-13 hours straight every. single. night.

It was heaven.

We potty trained Bean about 3 weeks ago- it went so much easier then I thought it would. Except for one little thing.  Her sleep- her precious, glorious sleep- has gone to hell because now instead of wetting her diaper, she wants to get up and use the potty at least twice a night.  I know that’s a good thing, but it’s killing me.

It wouldn’t be so bad if she was up and then back to bed quickly, but she wants to talk to me while she’s up.

“What you doing, Mommy?”

“Where Daddy?”

“I all done sleeping now?”

“I yike (like) laughing. Do you like laughing?”

Or she’ll tell me about a conversation she had earlier in the day.  They are mundane conversations- like when our nanny, Mary, wanted her to put a pair of pants on and the Bean didn’t want to- but she has different voices and facial expressions for each person she imitating, so then I start laughing, and she starts laughing and pretty soon we’re cracking up like a pair of loons at 2 am in the bathroom.

Do you know how hard it is to go back to bed after something like that?

 

Mar7

Bean’s Proclimations

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About 2 weeks ago, we decided it was time to potty train the Bean.  She’ll be three this summer and had been showing all the signs of being ready for quite some time.  So we bit the bullet, put her in some big girl undies and gave it a whirl. Thankfully, within 2 days she was pretty much trained- we were all shocked at how quickly little Ms. Stubborn took to things.

Today, after being snowed in all day, I decided to throw caution to the wind and take her out of the house to a local bounce house and restaurant without a diaper on. Thankfully she didn’t have any accidents- but she did insist on going to the bathroom in the restaurant 5 times within the hour we were there. Five. Times.  Since she’s still newly trained, I didn’t want to take the chance that she didn’t have to go, so off we went each and every time.

Each time we’d leave the bathroom, I’d remind her that we were at a restaurant and that it’s not polite to talk about potty things at the table.  And each time as we’d approach our table, she’s happily yell out to the Hubs what exactly she did in the bathroom. “Daddy- I went pee-pee on the potty!!” she’d proclaim, bursting with pride over how big she was now.

Thank goodness the snow scared off most people tonight so we didn’t really have any neighboring dinners to worry about.  I can’t imagine hearing about my daughters bathroom exploits would be good for anyone’s appetite!

Mar2

Battle of Wills

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The Hubs is one of the most stubborn people I know. He’s right, you’re wrong and that is all there is to that.  On top of that, The Hub’s job also puts him in a position of authority. He’s very used to people telling people what to do and having them hop to.  Those traits serve him very well both professional and personally. Except for when they are reflected back at him through his kids.

Dinner tonight was a low key affair, so the kids ate sitting on the bar stools in the kitchen while the Hubs sat at the table behind them.  Beaner was sitting on her knees and wasn’t very steady so the Hubs asked her to please sit on her bum so she didn’t fall off the stool.

She ignored him.

He called her name again and repeated his request.  Beaners squared her little jaw and continued to ignore him.

I tried to intervene but  The Hubs asked me to let him take care of it, so I backed off while keeping my eyes on the Bean.  He repeated his request one more time, this time telling her if she doesn’t answer him, she will be going to timeout.

She  lifted her hiney in the air and settled it very carefully and very purposefully back on her feet, sitting on her knees still.

Honest to God, I thought the Hubs head was going to explode as he picked her up and carried her to time out.

I do believe he’s met his match!

Feb28

You’re Not the Boss of Me!

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On Sunday morning, Scorch had a meltdown.

The reason? Bean wanted to have her usual for breakfast- waffles- and Scorch wanted her to have cereal.

When Bean was little (well, littler) she would basically go along with just about anything Scorch wanted- music, food, movies, books. Whatever- if Scorch was happy, Bean was happy.   Those days are clearly behind us.  At 2.5 years old, Bean knows what she wants and that is that.

And Sunday morning, Bean wanted waffles.

Scorched carried on like she ran over his dog. “But…she’s hurting my feelings! Why won’t she eat what I want her to eat? She always eats the same things and it’s boring!”

Then he resorted to bribery. “Bean- if you’ll have cereal with Big Brother, then I’ll let you play with my basketball!”

He then moved on to bargaining. “Beany- if you eat cereal today, then I’ll eat waffles with you tomorrow!” (all said in a very sing-song voice).

But she wouldn’t budge.  Finally the poor boy came to realize- 25 minutes later- that he’s simply not the boss of his little sister any more.

 

Feb22

Finding the Carrot

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Scorch is an uncomplicated guy. If you want him to do something, all you really have to do is whip up a sticker chart, tell him he has to get so many stickers for doing whatever you’d like him to do and then give him a present when he does.  It really doesn’t matter what you give him- a gumball, a bouncy ball or a football.  All he cares about is that it’s new and it’s his.  This technique worked when he was 18 months old and it still works now at almost 5 years old- the carrot of more stickers leading to a toy will almost always guarantee his cooperation.

I have yet to figure out what Bean’s carrot is  which is a giant pain in the rear when trying to potty train her.

She really doesn’t get excited about things- stickers, toys- like Scorch does.  While she loves chocolate as much as the next girl, she doesn’t love it enough to do something she doesn’t want to.  Outings to an exciting place- bounce house, science museum, Applebees- are a lot of fun but still not enough.

I cannot for the life of me figure out what makes this child tick. While I don’t do this while trying to potty training her, I have resorted to time-outs or threats of taking toys away to force her into helping me or picking up a mess she made.  Nada. She really doesn’t care.  She just digs in her heels and will not budge until she’s good and ready- there is simply no combination to her.

Her teenage years should be a blast!

Feb15

Sick Bed

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Last night at dinner, the Bean didn’t eat her bread.  This alarmed me greatly as this child would live on bread and butter if you let her.  Then she turned down her Valentine’s Day cupcake.  I knew right then and there she was sick.  When she asked to go to bed and wanted me to put her down instead of the Hubs, I figured the world was ending.

I kept the baby monitor right by me all evening and night waiting for the blow I knew was coming.  But all I heard was silence. So I got up and out of the house by 5:15 to head to the gym and didn’t give the Bean’s health a second thought.

When I got home, the Hubs was rinsing out the bath tub- the Bean had gotten sick.  I asked where she was and he told me she was laying in my bed.  I have to admit- I had conflicting thoughts about this.  My first thought was naturally hoping she feels better. But my second was fervently praying she didn’t get sick in my bed or worse yet on me.

After draping myself with a towel or four, I climbed into my bed with the Beaner for some cuddling. I noticed there was a towel already laid down under her and I mentally gave the Hubs props for thinking ahead.  While Beaner clearly didn’t feel well, it seems like getting sick was a one and done deal so I slowly peeled off my layers of protective towels as the morning went on (the puke bucket, however, stayed within arms reach all day long).

The Hubs called to check in shortly after I put Beaner down for her nap. After I gave him the status update, I thanked him for putting the towel down on our bed just in case.

The Hubs: “Just in case what?”

Me: “Just in case the Bean got sick in our bed after you cleaned her up.”

The Hubs: “Heather- how do you think I knew she was sick? She threw up in our bed.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. She puked, you cleaned her up, changed her- then you put a towel over the mess on our bed and laid her back down in it?!”

The Hubs: “It was only a little bit of puke- what’s the big deal?”

*sigh*

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Thankfully the Bean is feeling better as of this evening. Not nearly as clingy- which is a blessing for us all. Scorch, on the other hand, left the house for an hour this evening looking completely normal and came back home with a raging case of pink eye.  So I’ve traded in the fun of wrestling my daughter to get medicine in her last week to wrestling my son to get eye drops in him.   The fun never stops ’round these parts!