Category Archives: Bean

Dec14

The Morning Routine

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Every weekday morning is the same scramble to get out of the house on time for school.

“Scorch- eat faster!”

“Dude- white t-shirt goes under your long sleeved shirt.”

“Bean, sit still and let me try to get a comb through your crazy hair.”

The kids do more or less what’s asked of them while running around like wild monkeys. Each morning breakfast is eaten, kids are dressed, hair is combed, teeth are brushed, shoes are slipped on and we, miraculously, make it to school more or less on time.

But now, it’s snowing most days and this seems to add at least 10 minutes on to our morning routine. Boots need to be put on and sneakers packed.  Then there is the daily fight with Beaner on whether or not she needs to wear a hat. Most days, quite frankly, I throw my hands up and let her freeze.  Thank goodness she has figured out how to put her jacket on herself because before she did, that was a 5 minute battle with one of us trying to jam her coat on her all the while she’s shrieking “Me do it myself! No help!!”

And then we go outside. Scorch wants to shovel on the way to the car- which means he’s taking the snow from the yard and tossing it on the driveway. Not helpful.  Beaner wants to walk- but not the car. She wants to walk into the snow- which is all fun and games until she hits a hill in our yard with drifts bigger than her.

Finally both kids are corralled into the car.  I immediately take Beans boots off once she’s buckled in because if I don’t, she’ll eat the snow off the bottom of her boots.  Charming, no?

Once we get to school, it’s boots back on her, hustling into school and then taking boots off and putting sneakers back on Scorch. If I’m lucky, Bean will sit quietly while I do this. If I’m not so lucky, I have mornings like today where she takes her boots and socks off and dances in the hallway barefoot while signing “1-2-3 Jesus Loves me!” as loudly as she can. Thankfully she’s 2 and adorable as all get out even when she’s being a total PITA, so most people think it’s funny.

Except for me. I’m so tired by this point I just want to go back to bed even though I’ve been up only 1 hour and 15 mins so far! Thank goodness we only have 3+ more months of this weather!

 

Dec13

Buddy, The Elf

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Last year, my mother-in-law got us our very own Elf on the Shelf.

And last year, Buddy, our elf, scared the ever loving life out of Scorch.  All it took was moving Buddy one time and Scorch was over it. This elf was freaky and Scorch was scared witless over the fact he “moved” when we were all sleeping.  After two nights in a row of Scorch having nightmares about elves sneaking into his room, Buddy went back to the North Pole for the year.

This year, we brought Buddy out with some trepidation and re-introduced him to the kids.  They love that elf**, but he’s making my life a living hell.

According to the story book that came with Buddy, the Elf moves around each night to a new spot in order to observe the kids from a new place each day.  The problem is I keep forgetting to move him.  There is nothing worse then Scorch waking up and wondering first thing why Buddy didn’t move yet.

I’ve fudged my way through this twice by explaining that since we don’t leave any lights on in our house at night, Buddy couldn’t see where he was going so he opted to wait until we all went to school/work.  Scorch seems to be buying it.  As for me, I’m just lucky Scorch can’t read the big “MOVE THE ELF!!!!!” sign I posted up on the mirror in my room.

**Oddly enough, the Bean loves the elf, but is still convinced Santa’s coming to our house next week for the express purpose of blowing on her belly button. She sobbed about just that while we were in line to see Santa this weekend and didn’t want anything to do with him.

Dec10

Love.

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Love is a funny thing.

The minute I laid eyes on Scorch after he was born, I was in love.  It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I stared at his fat cheeks and his single dimple and his widows peak and that was that. Love in its purest form.

When the Bean was born it wasn’t quite like that.  Labor and, subsequently, delivery came on hard and fast- there was no time for pain meds.  It was the middle of the night, The Hubs was in shock over how quickly things progressed and the variety of swear words I was hurling at everyone. My nurses and doctors were less then helpful. Once Bean was born, she cried for 3 hours straight and nothing- nothing– we did calmed her down.  I remember looking down at her red, angry face wondering what the hell we just got ourselves into. It wasn’t until later that morning- around 5 am- when it was just her and I and she was nursing that the love for her hit me.

~~~~~~~~

Red sent out new pictures of LaLa last night.  I don’t know this child- I never had the chance to feel her kick in Red’s stomach. I’ve never touched her soft skin or nuzzled her tiny head.  But there it was again. That love.  It’s a different love then I have for my own kids, but still strong. That instant bond of family- the bond that says you belong to us. You’re so wanted. We will fight for you.  I cannot wait to start nibbling on those cheeks of hers when she’s older!

Dec9

Stumped (Or: What to Buy a 2 Year Old?)

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I’m deep into Santa-mode here.  We have a relatively large family, so about 3 years ago I started a spreadsheet of who we need to buy for, ideas for what to get, what I actually bought them and the cost.  It’s color coded, of course. Black for needs to still be bought, red for already purchased (totally not kidding).

Out of the 20+ names on this list of people to buy for one only name has nothing under either the ideas OR the gifts bought column.  That person? Beaner.

I am completely, totally stumped on what to buy my 2 year old daughter.  Every where I look, I’m finding ideas for Scorch.  In fact, I may have bought him so much that I’ll have to save stuff for his birthday.

It shouldn’t be too hard to buy for a 2 year old girl, right?

I walked through an entire Toys R Us today and nothing sparked my interest. She has a small fascination with Tinker Bell, but do I really want to start feeding into the Disney Princess/Fairy love that I’m sure will come fast enough on its own? Some of those aisles looked like a Pepto-Bismol bottle exploded over them and I just can’t stand that much pink in my house. She’s getting the most coveted gifts from her grandparents and is honestly just as happy running around, hanging off the furniture, playing with Scorch’s dinosaurs as she is anything else.

I did get her some Play-Dough, activity books and giant coloring book. I may just re-wrap some of her old toys and hope she doesn’t notice.

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According to the NICU doc today, no one bothered to tell Lala that she’s a 28 week old preemie because she certainly isn’t acting like one! That little girl is amazing people left and right with how well she continues to do. 🙂 Red got to change her diaper and take her temp today, which is awesome! I can’t imagine how hard it is not to hold your baby whenever you want, so I’m thrilled she got more hands on time with her baby.  Hoping TBO gets to interact more with Lala soon too!

Red goes home from the hospital tomorrow, so if you can all spare some good thoughts because I can’t imagine leaving Lala will be an easy thing to do.

Dec8

Bee-bo

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There are two things we have been doing a lot lately with the Bean:

1) Talking about Santa coming. That jolly old elf is an awesome, awesome threat this time of year- all I have to do is say “Santa’s watching…” and the kids straighten right up

2) Reading her Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton. It’s been her favorite book forever and it gets read at least nightly by her father.  When the Hubs is done reading it to her, he immediately starts blowing raspberries on her bee-bo (the name the baby hippo in the book calls his belly button) and they laugh until she gets hiccups.

Somehow in her 2 year old mind, the Bean has gotten the two things- Santa and her bee-bo- combined.  Anytime we see Santa, she asks two things- is Santa coming to our house (yes) and will Santa blow on her bee-bo when he does (no).  This bee-bo blowing is a major concern because she will tell you in no uncertain terms that Santa should not blow on her belly.  Only daddy can do that.

I’m not sure why Beaner thinks Santa is a belly-button-blowing creep, but it’s hysterically funny to see her cover up her belly each and every time she see’s him!
~~~~~

Lala had another very quiet, uneventful night last night and day today!  Her jaundice is a tad bit worse, but it’s not in to the scary range yet, so the docs just added more billi lights to her tanning bed.  Red got to see her a few times and hopefully soon she  can start changing her diaper and taking her temp.

 

 

Dec1

Selective Memory

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Earlier today the kiddos were downstairs playing while I was making dinner. I was running back and forth to keep an eye on them, but my attention wasn’t 100%  focused on the Bean.

Mistake #1.

During one of my trips down the stairs, I started to smell a not-so pleasant odor.  I wasn’t too worried until I rounded the corner to see Beaner standing there with no pants on, her onesie half off and no diaper.

Oh dear God- it’s finally happened. She’s pooped and taken off her diaper. I contained my panic, assessed the situation and started with clean up. I’ll spare you the details- you’re welcome.

After cleaning her (and the basement) up, I got back to cooking- this time keeping both kids on the same floor of the house as me.  The Bean wanted to wash her hands, which 1) was a really good idea anyhow and 2) something she does a lot so I told her to have at it, but I didn’t stay in the bathroom with her.

Mistake #2.

It got really quiet in the bathroom so I sent Scorch in there to check on her.  When he started laughing like a loon as soon as he walked in, I knew there was trouble.  There was the Bean standing in my sink about to open up a bottle of nail polish.  Thankfully, I got there early enough to prevent disaster.

I got the Bean down, had a stern talking to her and then went back to my cooking trying to get dinner on the table early so we could spend the night putting up the Christmas tree.  The kids wanted to play in their rooms- something they do all the freaking time, so I wasn’t too worried.

Mistake #3 (I swear I’m not normally this dumb.)

I heard the dreaded words come out of her mouth: “Yook at me, Mom!”  Into her room I go to find her standing on her dresser. That, right then? That is when my head exploded.

Well, not really, but damned if it wasn’t close.  You guys- this all happened within a 15 min span!!!!

Yet later that night after dinner was finally served, the tree was put up and fully decorated (only one ornament broken!) and I was getting Bean to bed, I actually said to my daughter: “You’ve been such a good girl today!”

That, my friends, is selective memory at its finest.  Either that or good old fashion repression!

Nov26

Needing Undivided Attention

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The Hubs had to work today, so I was scrambling this morning to figure out what to do with the kids. Typically we hit the local bounce house to work off some energy, but the bounce house is located within the mall and I wasn’t going near there with the kiddos in tow on Black Friday.  Most of the friends and family we usually pester when we’re bored were either traveling or shopping so the day was shaping up to be a long one.

I suggested we go to the local kid’s science museum to Scorch. He quickly countered with our local Earth Museum filled with fossils and all things dinosaur related. I thought about it and while going to a museum like that with a 4 and a 2 year old is a little ambitious since I was flying solo, I was desperate so off we went.

We got there within 5 minutes of it opening and there were only about a half a dozen other families there, all with small children. I breathed a quick sigh of relief and we got on our way. Scorch was, as always, enthralled. When an honest-to-God Paleontologist came up to us and offered to show us what he was working on in the museum’s lab, I thought Scorch’s little head was going to pop off from the excitement. When the good Doctor let Scorch hold a real Triceratops leg bone, it did. He hasn’t stopped talking about it yet!

The Bean, on the other hand, was really great for about the first 30 minutes.  There are some interactive parts of the museum, but it’s more of a look-and-see type of place, which isn’t exactly thrilling to a 2 year old. She was holding her own and acting respectable enough so I turned my back on her for 2 seconds to see something Scorch was trying to show me.

Huge mistake. You’d think I was a rookie at this parenting thing.

When I turned back around, Bean had crawled up into an exhibit that had two model dinosaurs side by side and was holding on to each of them swinging from their necks. “Hey Mama- yook at me!”  are words you never want to hear your toddler yell in a museum. Thank God she didn’t break anything and even bigger thanks that no one saw us.

Next time, I’ll take my changes on the Black Friday crowds.

Nov15

How much is that doggie…

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I love playing a lot of different games with the kids. When we’re at the park, its  soccer or baseball or basketball.  At home, its typically hide & seek, tag, dinosaurs, memory and whatever other board game Scorch has a hankering for.

But Scorch’s latest obsession (which the Bean now shares) may kill me.

Puppies.

The kids want to play puppies all the time. They crawl around on all fours barking and yapping, demanding to be petted. They want to play fetch. They lick us to show affection.  Let me say that again- my kids are licking my ankles to get my attention.  My job is to sit (or stand) there and give the kids my undivided attention and the occasional scratch behind the ear.

After 10 minutes of this, I’d rather stick myself in the arm with a fork repeatedly.  At least when we play Dinosaurs, I get to be the Ankylosaurus and whack the kids with my tail!

Let’s all say a silent prayer this game plays out quickly!

Nov11

Pay Attention

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Scorch has three lovies.  He was a baby that needed to be swaddled until he was almost a year old- that child loved to be wrapped up! By the end there was only one swaddler that fit him- a blue Miracle Blanket.  When he finally outgrew the swaddle, our awesome nanny took the Miracle Blanket, cut it up into 6 pieces and made little blankies for Scorch. 3 of them remain and they are, without a doubt, his most prized possessions.  They are also the only things of Scorch’s that are off limit to the Bean (as her lovies are to him).

This morning, Beaner was evidently not getting enough attention from her big brother, so she swiped those blankies right away from Scorch while he was coloring.

Only he didn’t notice.

So she yells to him from across the room, “I have your blankies!”

No response. She moves a little closer to him.

“Scooorch- I have your blankies!”

He’s still coloring away.

“Scorch! Look at me!”

Nada.

She finally put all three of the blankies on her head, marches right up to him, hits him in the arm and says

“I. Have. Your. Blankies. Come get me now, please.”

 

Gotta love a girl who just won’t be ignored!

 

Nov4

Stick a Fork in Me

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There are a lot of times when I feel like I have a handle on this whole motherhood gig. Things roll pretty smoothly- Scorch is on time for school, Bean’s hair doesn’t look like a rats nest and I’ve even put makeup on.

Then there are weeks like this one.  Scorch has been great all week. The boy has two modes- happy and crying. And when he’s crying he’s typically over what ever triggered him within 5 mins.  Wonderful.  The Bean? Well, I’ve just come to the conclusion that she’s crazy.  Certifiably batshit insane.

The mood swings. The screaming. The crying. It. Hasn’t. Stopped. All. Week.

Take this morning for example.  We were walking out the door to take Scorch to school and he asked for a quick snack for the car ride.  Sure, no problem.  Beaner had been great thus far until I offered her some of the snack. She didn’t want any.  Ok, no worries- I put it back.  She screams. I guess she does want some. So I offer her some again.  She tells me no and walks away.  So I put it back.  She screams blood murder and says she wants some.  I put some of the snack in the cup she’s carrying.  Bad idea, Mommy.  She picks up the offending snack and throws it at me.  So I throw it away and she loses her mind because now she wants some again.   At that point, I picked her up and bodily carried her to the car where she proceeded to scream the car down around her until we got to school.

I won’t even tell you about our trip to the store this evening.  Let’s just say, I was sweating bullets by the time we checked out.

Teething? Multiple personalities? Just simply being 2? Pissed off about the terrible weather? I haven’t a clue what’s going on with her.

But man, do I love that little monster. While her challenging moments are way out numbering the sweet, she’s really lucky the sweet still out weighs the sour.