I grew up with a father who was (is) very active in our lives.  He coached, he cheered, he helped with homework. He worked crazy shifts as a police officer and took extra jobs just to make sure he got to spend time with us when it counted most. Growing up, I just assumed that was what parents did.  As an adult, I know that’s not the case- those were decisions he made for us. And I’m so thankful he did.

I grew up knowing my father would always be there for me. He was the yard stick by which all other men in my life were measured and frankly, with the bar set so high, it’s a miracle I got married at all.  It’s no surprise at all that he’s a fantastic Papa to my  kids- involved, loving and patient. He gave Scorch his nickname and continues to be the Bean’s favorite person in the world.  Happy, happy Father’s Day, Dad!!

~*~*

When I said yes to the Hub’s proposal, I knew we both wanted kids. I just didn’t know the details- like how long it would take us and what kind of parent the Hubs would be.  Thankfully we all got lucky because we got our kids and the Hub’s is an amazing father. Spend 5 minutes with my kids and that’s apparent. Like my Dad and my father-in-law, the Hubs sacrifices, coaches, cheers and cares. He works crazy hours doing one of the toughest jobs on the earth, but when he comes home he’s Dad no matter what type of day he’s had. The kids and I are lucky to have him- and I hope he always knows that. Happy Father’s Day to one of the best men I know!

~*~*

And a very happy Father’s Day to the rest of the dads in our lives- our uncles, cousins, friends and family!

“Hey- what’s your favorite kind of fart?”

“Favorite kind? What do you mean?”

“Like loud ones, stinky ones, quiet ones?”

:Oh man- I like ’em all.”

– actually conversation overheard between Scorch and his cousin this weekend.

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I have 9 first cousins- and growing up, none of them lived more then an hour away. We got together for every holiday, birthday and random event you can think of.   My kids have 3 cousins- and the closest one lives 6 hours away. Not quite the same upbringing I had, huh?

Thanksgiving is a big deal on the Hubs side of the family because (most of the time) it’s the one time of year my mother-in-law gets all 3 of her sons and their families together for a holiday. This year my youngest brother-in-law and his wife couldn’t make it (you were missed!) but my older brother-in-law made the 16 hour trip with his boys. Fric is 8 and Frack is 7 (he’s 6 months older then Scorch). We only see the boys 2-3 times a year, so I hold my breath every time we see them. Will the kids still get along? Will they be shy with each other? Will they take forever to warm up with each other?

And, once again, I worried for nothing. I don’t think my kids let their cousins even take off their jacket before they were all over them, asking them to play, wanting to show them their tricks and asking them all sorts of question. And the Fric and Frack gave it back just as good as they get it- and it’s awesome because the kids don’t need us for any reason except as referees.

What wasn’t so awesome were the farting contests and the arguments over who won them, the stinky smell of sneakers, and the rivers of sweat from some crazy games of wall ball- but those are small prices to pay for 3 days of pure fun with some of our favorite people.

The good news is that we just got back from another wonderful vacation. This time we spent a week camping with my family on the shores of Lake Ontario. 16 adults, 5 kids, lots of food, drinks, sunshine, time at the beach and campfires. It was absolutely wonderful.

The very sad news is that the Hub’s grandfather passed away the day after we returned. Gramps was more of a grandfather to me then any other man I know- he was kind and sweet and funny and fiercely devoted to his family.  But he wasn’t perfect; he was too darn stubborn and proud to be perfect- a fact that we have all laughed and complained about over the years.

Gramp’s passing wasn’t a surprise- he’s been ill for a very long time. And in many ways, it’s a blessing for him. Gramps believed in God and Heaven and I know that faith gave him peace at the end. So for his sake, I’m happy and relieved that he can finally feel well again in Heaven. But for our sake, I’m beyond sad.  His death is a huge loss to our family that will be felt for a long, long time.

The Hubs grandfather is dying. He’s been sick for a few years now, but in these past few months, he’s quickly gone downhill and Hospice has said it won’t be long now. My kids are extraordinarily lucky that they have their great-grandparents in their lives- we see them multiple times a year, we’ve gone on vacations with them and their home is one of Scorch’s favorite places on earth.

The kids know that Gramps is very sick and that he’s going to die soon. As much as it hurts me and the Hubs, we try not to shy away from discussing this with them because I don’t feel like that helps a darn thing.  But knowing someone is going to die and then them actually doing so are very different when you’re 4 and 6.  I bought Maria Shriver’s What’s Heaven? book to read to the kids, but I’m wondering if anyone else has any suggestions, thoughts or words of wisdom?  We are religious and the kids go to a Catholic school so the topics of heaven, a soul and all that are somewhat familiar, if abstract, concepts to them.  At the end of the day, I want my kids to know that whatever they are feeling is perfectly fine and that death isn’t a horribly, scary thing.

I appreciate any advice!