Category Archives: family

Jun28

Turning the Tables

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When Scorch was born, my sister Red considered herself a bit of a baby guru.  She didn’t have any kids of her own, but she did have a really big hand in helping raise her best friend’s baby.  She and her best friend were military wives and their husband’s were deployed when her friend’s baby came- so Red was the birth coach and the co-parent for the first few months.  Which was awesome- but it also meant that Red had opinions on a lot of things. Some things were really helpful- like, as stupid as it sounds, how to properly pack a diaper bag without bringing everything with you.  But some of the advice I just ignored because while it sounded good, actually using it was a whole different story.

From the day he was born, Scorch wasn’t a great sleeper (not much has actually changed there).  The Hubs and I were at our wits end trying to figure out how to get this child to sleep.  Red and my Mom would always tell me to let him fuss, to let him cry, that it won’t hurt him.  But…but…but…that was my baby! There was no way I could let my poor sweet exhausted gorgeous child cry!!**  We went round and round over that little piece of advice for ever and, at the end of the day, I never let Scorch cry it out.

But now- now the tables are turned! Baby Lala, my sweet niece, is almost 7 months old and sleeps fantastic at night (seriously, I’m jealous), but her napping situation is another story.  I have to say, I take so much enjoyment out of throwing that “just let her fuss” line back into Red’s face that it’s almost criminal.  I love watching her squirm and come up with all the excuses I did when faced with the same advice  because what sounded good in theory seems damn near impossible when it’s your own kid.

**All that said, we did let the Bean cry it out (checking on her every 10 mins, never letting her get too worked up) the day she turned 6 months old. After 2.5 years of not sleeping at all, she and her brother left us no choice. And I never once regretted it.

Mar16

Missing Them

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From day 1, I knew I wasn’t stay at home mom material.  Quite frankly, staying home with my kids full time is much harder then my day job!

I have had the luxury of working from my home for a Big Company for the past 8+ years. Pre-kids I had a nice little office set up in one of our spare bedrooms- big L-shaped desk, bookshelves, awards.  Now each of those spare bedrooms is filled with a kid so I work out of a small hutch in our family room.  It’s not glamorous, but it allows me to get my job done each day.

When I was pregnant with Scorch, we researched a variety of day care options. After looking at a few places, we realized how silly it was to send Scorch out of the house while I was here so we hired Mary, our nanny. Since then, I’ve had the pleasure (most of the time) of being able to work with my kids one floor up from me. I can love on them any time I want. I give them kisses when they leave the house and I greet them at the door when they get home. In the summer I can take my lunch outside with them or take a break between meetings to stick my feet in the kiddie pool while they play.  In short, it’s the perfect set up!

Today I took the day off from work and was out of the house all day long.  On my drive home, I realized just how much I missed those little buggers.  Then I realized how much more I was going to miss them next year when they are both in school full time.

Anyone know of a way to freeze time? Because today, I’m all for that!

Mar3

Love Thursday: Homecoming (Part 2)

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I always knew without a doubt that I was loved as a kid.  Hugs, kisses, “I love you’s” and praise were doled out liberally  in my house.  Mom and Dad attended all our school functions, supported us in our decisions – big & small, and always were there for us.  Love in my family was like air- it was just there.

But it wasn’t until Scorch was born and I felt for the first time that all consuming love for my child that I realized just how very much my parents loved me.

******

Up until this year, the longest I had ever gone between seeing at least one of my parents was 6 weeks. But this year, my parents became snow birds and migrated south to FL for Jan and Feb.  Yes, I’m in my 30’s and I cried the night we said goodbye to them before they left.  While they were gone, we talked daily and Skyped a few times a week but it wasn’t the same for me or the kiddos- not when we were used to seeing them at least once a week.

That is why Scorch and Bean were practically vibrating with anticipation as we drove to meet my Dad for dinner tonight. The grins and shrieks when they saw their Papa were stinking priceless- even the people at the tables around us said it was the sweetest thing!  Papa holds a special place in my kids lives and we are all so happy he’s home!

 

Feb23

Homecoming

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11 weeks and 2 days after she was born, Baby Lala is home!  Born at 1 lb 14 oz, Lala is now up over 5 lbs- sent home without a single wire or monitor.  Red and TBO are free to pick her up and love on her as much as they want without worrying (too much) about schedules and over stimulation.

It’s a beautiful thing.

 

 

Jan3

Happy 2011!

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Dear Kiddos-

Happy New Year! Yes, I realize it’s 3 days into the new year and I’m late.  As you get older, this will not surprise you at all.

2010 was a good year for us! Our extended family weathered some health scares, but everyone is still here in 2011. Our immediate family had 3 fun bouts with a stomach bug (I blame you, Scorch, and your germy classmates for that) but that was the worst of it.

There were a lot of first this year. Scorch going to school 5 days a week. Our amazing trip to the OBX. Renting a camper for our trip to Lake Ontario. Scorch’s first trip the ER. Bean’s first conversations. T-ball. Your first new baby cousin- Beaner isn’t the youngest any more!  Your first Yankee’s game and show at Madison Square Garden. Looking back on it, we had a lot of fun in 2010!

Moving forward, I have a lot of high hopes for 2011.  There will most likely be a lot of changes this year. One way or another, The Hubs is getting a new job.  One of the job possibilities- the one we’re praying for- will keep us here. The other will love us 350 miles away.  Either way, I’m ready to be out of this limbo.  A move would be really, really hard on all of us- but I have a feeling it would turn out just fine.

You’ll turn 5 this year, Scorch. Do you know what that means? The whole wide world of sports- everything you’ve wanted to play- is now open up to you.  Football, lacrosse, basketball, martial arts and golf.  You have interest in them all, so I have no idea how we’re going to narrow this down.  That’s a good problem to have!  In the fall, you’ll also start kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN!!!! You may be ready for that, but I promise you I won’t be.  I look at you now and I see a boy- not a baby, not even a toddler. A tall, skinny boy with more imagination in one pinkie then I have in my whole body.

Beaner- you’ll turn 3 this year!  You’ll also start school full time in the fall- a wonderful Pre-K program that we eased Scorch into bit by bit.  But you, sweetpea, you don’t need to be eased into anything. You’ll be jumping in with both feet come September and I have a feeling you’ll love every stinking minute of it.  You’re also going to start gymnastics as we try to figure out what you like to do. Right now it’s simply whatever Scorch does sports-wise, but I have a feeling that will change!

As for me, well- come September I’ll have an empty house for the first time since Scorch was born. Your father and I may have to start having serious discussions on getting you guys a sibling just to make me feel better.

There will be lots of changes this year- some little, some seismic. But all of them- all of them– will be made in the hopes of making your life better.  We love you two so much and would give you the moon if we could. For now though you’ll have to settle for a more stable job for your Dad, maybe a new house and the one thing that will never change no matter what the date- love, and lots of it.

Happy new years, kiddos! Can’t wait to see what’s coming!

Love,

Mommy

Dec13

Buddy, The Elf

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Last year, my mother-in-law got us our very own Elf on the Shelf.

And last year, Buddy, our elf, scared the ever loving life out of Scorch.  All it took was moving Buddy one time and Scorch was over it. This elf was freaky and Scorch was scared witless over the fact he “moved” when we were all sleeping.  After two nights in a row of Scorch having nightmares about elves sneaking into his room, Buddy went back to the North Pole for the year.

This year, we brought Buddy out with some trepidation and re-introduced him to the kids.  They love that elf**, but he’s making my life a living hell.

According to the story book that came with Buddy, the Elf moves around each night to a new spot in order to observe the kids from a new place each day.  The problem is I keep forgetting to move him.  There is nothing worse then Scorch waking up and wondering first thing why Buddy didn’t move yet.

I’ve fudged my way through this twice by explaining that since we don’t leave any lights on in our house at night, Buddy couldn’t see where he was going so he opted to wait until we all went to school/work.  Scorch seems to be buying it.  As for me, I’m just lucky Scorch can’t read the big “MOVE THE ELF!!!!!” sign I posted up on the mirror in my room.

**Oddly enough, the Bean loves the elf, but is still convinced Santa’s coming to our house next week for the express purpose of blowing on her belly button. She sobbed about just that while we were in line to see Santa this weekend and didn’t want anything to do with him.

Dec10

Love.

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Love is a funny thing.

The minute I laid eyes on Scorch after he was born, I was in love.  It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I stared at his fat cheeks and his single dimple and his widows peak and that was that. Love in its purest form.

When the Bean was born it wasn’t quite like that.  Labor and, subsequently, delivery came on hard and fast- there was no time for pain meds.  It was the middle of the night, The Hubs was in shock over how quickly things progressed and the variety of swear words I was hurling at everyone. My nurses and doctors were less then helpful. Once Bean was born, she cried for 3 hours straight and nothing- nothing– we did calmed her down.  I remember looking down at her red, angry face wondering what the hell we just got ourselves into. It wasn’t until later that morning- around 5 am- when it was just her and I and she was nursing that the love for her hit me.

~~~~~~~~

Red sent out new pictures of LaLa last night.  I don’t know this child- I never had the chance to feel her kick in Red’s stomach. I’ve never touched her soft skin or nuzzled her tiny head.  But there it was again. That love.  It’s a different love then I have for my own kids, but still strong. That instant bond of family- the bond that says you belong to us. You’re so wanted. We will fight for you.  I cannot wait to start nibbling on those cheeks of hers when she’s older!

Dec7

1 lb 14 oz

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When my sister, Red,  and her husband, TBO, were dealing with infertility I understood the world they were living in. We may have undergone different procedures, but I spoke the language. IUI. IVF. 2WW. BFN. U/S. And then finally, BFP. I could commiserate and offer advice. It’s not a road anyone wants to walk down, but at least Red & TBO weren’t walking it alone.

~~~~

Red’s pregnancy went from routine to high risk last Friday.  Then on Sunday it went from high risk to critical. Family was called and we all started living on pins and needles.

Yesterday morning it was decided that it was safer for everyone if Red had the baby.  She was only 28 weeks along, but my niece wasn’t growing fast enough and Red’s health was in danger.

Yesterday afternoon my niece, LaLa, was born weighing 1 lb 14 oz.  Amazingly enough, she was born crying. Even more amazingly, she’s breathing on her own with minimal assistance and her heart rate and blood pressure are picture perfect. I believe the nurses even called her a rock star.  Red, thankfully, is also recovering well from her surgery!

~~~~~

There are so many things that absolutely stink about this situation- namely that a teeny-tiny baby will spending the next few months in the NICU.  For the family that lives 350 miles away from Red, TBO and LaLa, it’s the feeling of helplessness. Red & TBO were forced into a whole new world yesterday, a world that the vast majority of us have never even visited yet alone lived in.  Thankfully they aren’t without some great resource both within our extended family and their friends to help them along.  I just wish there was more the rest of us could do besides hope and pray.

Dec5

Sisters

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“Can’t you take her back?”

According to the family stories, that’s the first thing I said when I met Red, my baby sister, after she was born.  I was 2 and a half and it was all down here from there for a long, long time.

I remember fighting with my sister over everything. Toys, dolls, friends, food- everything.

“She’s breathing too loud!”

“She’s looking at me!”

“She’s touching me!”

Doors slamming. Yelling. Even slapping each other. Why my parents didn’t sell us both to the circus when we we’re younger, I’ll never know.  I had one friend tell me that one day, we’d be best friends and I still remember rolling my eyes so far back at the thought that it’s a wonder they didn’t get stuck.

But she was right. I don’t know when it happened, but gradually Red went from being someone I just barely tolerated to my best friend.  Now we talk daily, if not more.  It makes the Hubs nuts sometimes because he knows nine times out of ten when the phone rings, it’s going to be Red (or my mom).

Red and her husband, TBO, went through hell and back to get pregnant. I had my own problems having Scorch and Bean, so my heart hurt for them each cycle they were unsuccessful. Getting the picture of the positive pregnancy test from Red at 4 am one morning a few months back was one of the happiest times ever.

Fast forward 28 short weeks. Red is 350 miles away hospitalized for the rest of her pregnancy.  A pregnancy that could last another day longer or another 12 weeks, it’s something that will be decided daily.  It’s killing me to be this far away from my best friends, my sister, at such a scary time.

Red & TBO- we love you and the baby and know that you all will be fine. Stay strong and call me as many times a day as you need, Hubs can deal with it. 😉

 

Nov29

I give you the Griswold family Christmas tree!*

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The Hubs is a huge Christmas nut and loves to channel his inner Clark Griswold. As such, getting our Christmas tree is Big Business here.  Growing up, the Hubs only had artificial trees so when we moved in together almost 11 years ago, switching to a real tree was a huge change.  We’ve gotten our tree from all sorts of places over the years and we always seem to pick the worst day of the year to get it- rain, snow, sleet, sub-zero temps. You name it and we’ve picked out our tree during it.

This year the kids are old enough to understand what’s going on, so we decided to try our hand at cutting down a tree.  Yesterday was the big day- it was a balmy 41 degrees out and not spitting snow or rain so off we went.  Never mind that it was  the kids nap time, Scorch was crying at the drop of a hat and that we had just made them sit through an hour of church. This was going to be fun, damn it!

And, surprisingly enough, it was!  The only problem was that we found our Perfect Tree in the pre-cut section of trees when we first got there. Scorch was not pleased at the thought of not using the saw the Hubs was lugging around, so we took a hike through the woods to see what we could find.  We did find another beautiful tree- that was 9 feet tall.  As much as I love the Griswold family Christmas tree, I didn’t want an identical one in my living room so we settled on the first tree we saw after tiring the kids out with our walk.

So a new tradition has started for our family. Maybe next year we’ll even let the Hubs use that saw.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Not the quote I wanted to use, but I couldn’t bring myself to name this post “Shitters full!” even though it makes me laugh every time I think of it!