Category Archives: Me

Dec16

Love Thursday: Give Back

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There has been a lot going on over the past 2 weeks that have weighed on me in varying degrees.  The major stuff is obviously Red and Baby Lala (who continues to do really well in the NICU).  Add in the typical pre-holiday stress, crappy weather, a cold, a crazy work load and other annoying day-to-day stuff and today I woke up in a Chicken Little-like tizzy.  The sky was falling, y’all.

Only it wasn’t- but I needed my perspective tweaked to figure that out.  And this post did it for me.  Jenny, the author, was giving out $600 worth of gift cards to people who needed them.  People with sick kids. People out of work. People who wanted to pay back some kindness. People who just wanted to get their kids Christmas presents and couldn’t afford to do so.

And my problems? They didn’t seem so big anymore.  I have a great husband and two amazingly healthy, smart kiddos. My bank account may not be as robust as I’d like it to be, but I know we’re damn lucky.  I spent my night having dinner with my family and playing a crazy game of hide-and-seek with a 2 year old and a 4 year old who giggle the entire time they are hiding in the same 3 spots over and over.  Kids who ask for hugs and kisses and spend an hour coloring pictures for Lala’s NICU crib.

Yup, I’m blessed.

During this time of year, I encourage you all who are equally as blessed to give back. Donate to Toys for Tots. Find a local Giving Tree. Sponsor a family. Donate to your local food bank.  Give something- I promise it’ll come back to you tenfold in one way or another.

Dec14

The Morning Routine

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Every weekday morning is the same scramble to get out of the house on time for school.

“Scorch- eat faster!”

“Dude- white t-shirt goes under your long sleeved shirt.”

“Bean, sit still and let me try to get a comb through your crazy hair.”

The kids do more or less what’s asked of them while running around like wild monkeys. Each morning breakfast is eaten, kids are dressed, hair is combed, teeth are brushed, shoes are slipped on and we, miraculously, make it to school more or less on time.

But now, it’s snowing most days and this seems to add at least 10 minutes on to our morning routine. Boots need to be put on and sneakers packed.  Then there is the daily fight with Beaner on whether or not she needs to wear a hat. Most days, quite frankly, I throw my hands up and let her freeze.  Thank goodness she has figured out how to put her jacket on herself because before she did, that was a 5 minute battle with one of us trying to jam her coat on her all the while she’s shrieking “Me do it myself! No help!!”

And then we go outside. Scorch wants to shovel on the way to the car- which means he’s taking the snow from the yard and tossing it on the driveway. Not helpful.  Beaner wants to walk- but not the car. She wants to walk into the snow- which is all fun and games until she hits a hill in our yard with drifts bigger than her.

Finally both kids are corralled into the car.  I immediately take Beans boots off once she’s buckled in because if I don’t, she’ll eat the snow off the bottom of her boots.  Charming, no?

Once we get to school, it’s boots back on her, hustling into school and then taking boots off and putting sneakers back on Scorch. If I’m lucky, Bean will sit quietly while I do this. If I’m not so lucky, I have mornings like today where she takes her boots and socks off and dances in the hallway barefoot while signing “1-2-3 Jesus Loves me!” as loudly as she can. Thankfully she’s 2 and adorable as all get out even when she’s being a total PITA, so most people think it’s funny.

Except for me. I’m so tired by this point I just want to go back to bed even though I’ve been up only 1 hour and 15 mins so far! Thank goodness we only have 3+ more months of this weather!

 

Dec13

Buddy, The Elf

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Last year, my mother-in-law got us our very own Elf on the Shelf.

And last year, Buddy, our elf, scared the ever loving life out of Scorch.  All it took was moving Buddy one time and Scorch was over it. This elf was freaky and Scorch was scared witless over the fact he “moved” when we were all sleeping.  After two nights in a row of Scorch having nightmares about elves sneaking into his room, Buddy went back to the North Pole for the year.

This year, we brought Buddy out with some trepidation and re-introduced him to the kids.  They love that elf**, but he’s making my life a living hell.

According to the story book that came with Buddy, the Elf moves around each night to a new spot in order to observe the kids from a new place each day.  The problem is I keep forgetting to move him.  There is nothing worse then Scorch waking up and wondering first thing why Buddy didn’t move yet.

I’ve fudged my way through this twice by explaining that since we don’t leave any lights on in our house at night, Buddy couldn’t see where he was going so he opted to wait until we all went to school/work.  Scorch seems to be buying it.  As for me, I’m just lucky Scorch can’t read the big “MOVE THE ELF!!!!!” sign I posted up on the mirror in my room.

**Oddly enough, the Bean loves the elf, but is still convinced Santa’s coming to our house next week for the express purpose of blowing on her belly button. She sobbed about just that while we were in line to see Santa this weekend and didn’t want anything to do with him.

Dec9

Stumped (Or: What to Buy a 2 Year Old?)

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I’m deep into Santa-mode here.  We have a relatively large family, so about 3 years ago I started a spreadsheet of who we need to buy for, ideas for what to get, what I actually bought them and the cost.  It’s color coded, of course. Black for needs to still be bought, red for already purchased (totally not kidding).

Out of the 20+ names on this list of people to buy for one only name has nothing under either the ideas OR the gifts bought column.  That person? Beaner.

I am completely, totally stumped on what to buy my 2 year old daughter.  Every where I look, I’m finding ideas for Scorch.  In fact, I may have bought him so much that I’ll have to save stuff for his birthday.

It shouldn’t be too hard to buy for a 2 year old girl, right?

I walked through an entire Toys R Us today and nothing sparked my interest. She has a small fascination with Tinker Bell, but do I really want to start feeding into the Disney Princess/Fairy love that I’m sure will come fast enough on its own? Some of those aisles looked like a Pepto-Bismol bottle exploded over them and I just can’t stand that much pink in my house. She’s getting the most coveted gifts from her grandparents and is honestly just as happy running around, hanging off the furniture, playing with Scorch’s dinosaurs as she is anything else.

I did get her some Play-Dough, activity books and giant coloring book. I may just re-wrap some of her old toys and hope she doesn’t notice.

~~~~~~~

According to the NICU doc today, no one bothered to tell Lala that she’s a 28 week old preemie because she certainly isn’t acting like one! That little girl is amazing people left and right with how well she continues to do. 🙂 Red got to change her diaper and take her temp today, which is awesome! I can’t imagine how hard it is not to hold your baby whenever you want, so I’m thrilled she got more hands on time with her baby.  Hoping TBO gets to interact more with Lala soon too!

Red goes home from the hospital tomorrow, so if you can all spare some good thoughts because I can’t imagine leaving Lala will be an easy thing to do.

Dec5

Sisters

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“Can’t you take her back?”

According to the family stories, that’s the first thing I said when I met Red, my baby sister, after she was born.  I was 2 and a half and it was all down here from there for a long, long time.

I remember fighting with my sister over everything. Toys, dolls, friends, food- everything.

“She’s breathing too loud!”

“She’s looking at me!”

“She’s touching me!”

Doors slamming. Yelling. Even slapping each other. Why my parents didn’t sell us both to the circus when we we’re younger, I’ll never know.  I had one friend tell me that one day, we’d be best friends and I still remember rolling my eyes so far back at the thought that it’s a wonder they didn’t get stuck.

But she was right. I don’t know when it happened, but gradually Red went from being someone I just barely tolerated to my best friend.  Now we talk daily, if not more.  It makes the Hubs nuts sometimes because he knows nine times out of ten when the phone rings, it’s going to be Red (or my mom).

Red and her husband, TBO, went through hell and back to get pregnant. I had my own problems having Scorch and Bean, so my heart hurt for them each cycle they were unsuccessful. Getting the picture of the positive pregnancy test from Red at 4 am one morning a few months back was one of the happiest times ever.

Fast forward 28 short weeks. Red is 350 miles away hospitalized for the rest of her pregnancy.  A pregnancy that could last another day longer or another 12 weeks, it’s something that will be decided daily.  It’s killing me to be this far away from my best friends, my sister, at such a scary time.

Red & TBO- we love you and the baby and know that you all will be fine. Stay strong and call me as many times a day as you need, Hubs can deal with it. 😉

 

Dec2

Love Thursday: I’m Beautiful

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One of my favorite bloggers recently wrote a post a about accepting to yourself. About realizing that you’re beautiful for a variety of reasons- that beauty shouldn’t be defined only by the super models of the world.  Her post in and of itself is amazing and in it she asks people to share why they are beautiful.  I dare you  not to read the comments and smile.  Here are a few that were shared:

> I’m beautiful because I survived a crazy, anxious childhood; a long slow drop into alcoholism, drug addiction and street life; and now, at 55, I think everything is funny. Because for such a long time, nothing was.

> I am beautiful because somehow I manage to get up one more time than I have fallen down.

> I am beautiful because I have my mother’s strong hands, my grandmother’s hips and my father’s feet. I have the same blue eyes as my sister and the same mole on my third finger as my daughter. I am beautiful because I am parts of all those that I love.

Seriously- how great is that??

But it’s hard- really hard- for me to say what makes me beautiful. When I look in the mirror most of the time, all I see are the flaws. The 12 pounds that I’ve been trying to lose since having the Bean. The random gray hairs. The eyes that need a stronger prescription every year. The various scars all over my body- from my car accident, from being pregnant, from being the least graceful person in NY state.

But that body, as imperfect as it is, finally after 3 long, hard years carried and birthed two healthy, perfect babies.  That baby weight doesn’t reflect as much time at the gym as I’d like, but it does reflect time that was better spent with my family and friends living life.  The outside may not be conventionally beautiful, but my sense of self, my innate optimism and my fierce love of my family and friends make me beautiful.

What makes YOU beautiful?

Dec1

Selective Memory

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Earlier today the kiddos were downstairs playing while I was making dinner. I was running back and forth to keep an eye on them, but my attention wasn’t 100%  focused on the Bean.

Mistake #1.

During one of my trips down the stairs, I started to smell a not-so pleasant odor.  I wasn’t too worried until I rounded the corner to see Beaner standing there with no pants on, her onesie half off and no diaper.

Oh dear God- it’s finally happened. She’s pooped and taken off her diaper. I contained my panic, assessed the situation and started with clean up. I’ll spare you the details- you’re welcome.

After cleaning her (and the basement) up, I got back to cooking- this time keeping both kids on the same floor of the house as me.  The Bean wanted to wash her hands, which 1) was a really good idea anyhow and 2) something she does a lot so I told her to have at it, but I didn’t stay in the bathroom with her.

Mistake #2.

It got really quiet in the bathroom so I sent Scorch in there to check on her.  When he started laughing like a loon as soon as he walked in, I knew there was trouble.  There was the Bean standing in my sink about to open up a bottle of nail polish.  Thankfully, I got there early enough to prevent disaster.

I got the Bean down, had a stern talking to her and then went back to my cooking trying to get dinner on the table early so we could spend the night putting up the Christmas tree.  The kids wanted to play in their rooms- something they do all the freaking time, so I wasn’t too worried.

Mistake #3 (I swear I’m not normally this dumb.)

I heard the dreaded words come out of her mouth: “Yook at me, Mom!”  Into her room I go to find her standing on her dresser. That, right then? That is when my head exploded.

Well, not really, but damned if it wasn’t close.  You guys- this all happened within a 15 min span!!!!

Yet later that night after dinner was finally served, the tree was put up and fully decorated (only one ornament broken!) and I was getting Bean to bed, I actually said to my daughter: “You’ve been such a good girl today!”

That, my friends, is selective memory at its finest.  Either that or good old fashion repression!

Nov30

A Sickness

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I’ve shared a time or seven how I am not Suzy Homemaker. Heck, I’m not even her second cousin, Semi-Suzy Homemaker. Among other things, I don’t like to:

> cook
> decorate
> clean
> do crafts
> keep a scrapbook / baby books

Don’t get me wrong, I do them all (at least the top 3).  I mean- I have to. Have you seen Horders? I so don’t want a house like that. And I don’t want my kids main sources of veggies be McDonald’s fries.  But I don’t have a passion for some of the more wifely/motherly pursuits. I’d much rather be drinking hot chocolate and reading a good book, you know?

I do have one weakness- a sickness, if you will.

Christmas cards.

I love to design them using some of the 2000+ pics I’ve taken through out the year. I love to compare different versions. I love to solicit the opinion of anyone who cares enough to offer them on which one I should choose.  When the cards finally arrive at the house, it’s like my version of Christmas morning. The opening of the package, the great unveiling, the butterflies in my stomach as I hope I love them as much in person as I did online.

And this year I totally did. These cards- all 90 of them- are gorgeous!  And yes, the fact that I send out 90 of them is all part of my illness because I don’t feel right just sending out picture cards. Oh no- I have to write a personal message in each and every card otherwise the guilt eats at me. Why? I don’t know- it’s the Catholic in me.

All I do know is I better get started soon if they have a prayer of arriving before Dec. 25th!

Nov22

I’d choose them…

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Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

You guys obviously know that I agree with that sentiment.  But I also think if you’re lucky the opposite is true- that family are the friends you’re blessed to be related to.

And I’m really lucky.

I was born into a great family- amazing parents and a brother and sister who are two of my most favorite people in the world.  My parents always- always– encouraged and supported us through school, sports, friendships, college, jobs, marriages and now raising our families.  I know that if I need anything, my parents will always have our backs.  As for my siblings- there is nothing like knowing there are two other people in this world that remember the same crazy family trips and traditions as me.  Add in numerous grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousin that I enjoy spending time with- people we choose to vacation with every year- and I couldn’t be luckier.

Then I was doubly lucky to marry into a great family. In-laws who’s company I greatly enjoy, people whom I respect. They raised a great man and all of them have become a happy add-on to my already great family.  My kids are beyond lucky to have 3 sets of loving grandparents, 4 sets of involved aunts & uncles and an ever growing number of cousins.

I realize this all sounds a little too suzy-sunshine, but I can’t help it. It’s true and I couldn’t be more thankful for every single member of my family. Even The Bearded One.

Nov20

The Little Things

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It’s Saturday night and my Bean has a cold. Which means she completely wiped me out by noon today. Thank god Scorch was a rock star all day because if the both of them were at their worst at the same time? I think my head would have popped clear of.

Because my brain is fried, I’m going to talk about the little things that I’m thankful for right now.

– The fact that working from home allows me to work in yoga pants & fuzzy slippers in front of the fireplace with a cat (or two) on my lap.

– Hershey’s syrup. I would not survive without a daily cup of hot chocolate.

– TV & my DVR. The Hubs works crazy hours and while there are certainly more productive ways to spend my time, at the end of a long day nothing makes me happier then curling up to watch Terriers / The Waking Dead/ Friday Night Lights / True Blood. With the aforementioned hot chocolate, of course.

– The local bounce house that will be completely empty at 10 am tomorrow morning so I can let my crazy kids have an hour to run/bounce/scream all their energy out in the hopes what will make the day the day a little bit better for us all.

– Harry Potter. Both the books & the movies.

– Books in general- I simply cannot imagine a world in which there are no books. I read 2-3 books (typically mental-floss fictions novels) a week. How boring my life would be without them.

– Facebook where the friends I so sweetly wrote about  a few days ago can remind me of the height of my embarrassing tween years- the year I wore a frankle to fix my teeth. A time so embarrassing I blocked it out- only to have it mentioned publicly for all to remember.

Happy Saturday, all!