Category Archives: Scorch

Oct1

Minecraft = Fighting Zombies*

Posted on October 1, 2014 by Heather

You ever have one of those nights where both your 8 year old and 6 year old are sobbing over the injustice in the world, you and your spouse are yelling just to be heard over the din and the dog won’t stop barking because she really, really wants that steak you’re trying to eat?

Yup, me neither.

~*~*~*~

The kids have both discovered Minecraft. Scorch has been into it for a while, but a few weeks back the Bean got bit by the bug. They are pretty limited in how they can play (we don’t let them play with others, etc) and for some reason they both insist on playing on the iPad even though we also have it on the computer. So every.freaking.day for the past two weeks has been a fight over who gets the iPad when and for how long.

The Bean has started to wake up earlier to play and the kids try to beat each other to calling dibs on the iPad before even we leave school to head home for the afternoon. It usually worked itself out and we’re so busy that the kids only got little bits of time to play here or there throughout the day. But with night coming earlier and the days getting chiller, the time spent playing was starting to grow.

The Hubs and I finally did what we should have done weeks ago and put strict limits in place. To say neither kid was happy with us would have been like saying the Pope is only a little religious. The iPad and computer are now off limits in the morning before school and they only have a set amount of time each day after school to play. Once that time is up, no matter how they use it, it’s up. No going back. If you don’t use all your time in the afternoons, you don’t get extra time the next day.

Evidently those rules = the world ending. Who knew?

The Bean was ticked because she used her 30 minutes up right after we got home from school and had to *gasp* fill her time playing or reading until bed. This lead to an epic fit that included her 1) telling me I was the worst mom ever, 2) I wasn’t her friend any more and 3) that she was running away. Oddly enough she didn’t take me up on her offer to help her pack her bag and lunch for when she left.

Scorch was a sobbing mess because he spent the entire time after school until bedtime playing baseball outside. So he thought when he finally came in and started eating dinner (at 7:30 mind you, which is when we normally start bedtime) that he’d get his 30 minutes. He was heartbroken when he found out that he didn’t get to play and then just plain furious when he realized that his 30 minutes from today doesn’t get tacked onto his time tomorrow.

So that is why at 7:40 tonight both my children were sitting at the kitchen table sobbing, the Hubs and I were yelling (at the kids, at each other and at the dog) and dog was barking for our steak that Scorch was finally eating. Good times in the Heat household tonight, good times.

*Fighting Zombies = my kids, not the game characters

Sep10

Meanest Mom in the World

Posted on September 10, 2014 by Heather

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My son is in the shower right now, muttering darkly about me.

Meanest mom ever.

She said we could play…

She doesn’t understand…

We’re going to play all day tomorrow.

~~~~~

The good news is my kids love being back to school. They love their teachers and recess and lunch and seeing their friends. They don’t even mind learning new things! The wake up every day (more or less) bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to conquer the day.

Too bad they come home exhausted. And not the cute exhausted where they fall asleep at the dinner table and you sigh over how angelic they look. No – we’re talking about full on head-turning, teeth gnashing exhausted. Anything and everything sets them off. Wrong song on the radio, sibling tilting their head too close to the others carseat, being asked to hold the door for me because I’m laden down like a pack mule when we get home because the kids are too busy taunting each other to hear me tell them to get their own backpacks, their ability/inability to play with certain electronics when we get home and on and on and on.

Tonight I managed to become the worst mom in the world to both kids – that may be a new record.

We had pasta for dinner and despite asking for it, the Bean lost her ever loving mind when I put sauce instead of butter on her noodles.

I know I said sauce but I meant butter and why didn’t you understand meeeeee? (last part was said in the midst of a high-pitched sob that could only be heard by the dog).

And then there was Scorch. He wanted to play wiffle ball, so I happily agreed and told him that we had 10 minutes. So for 10 minutes he and I had a great time outside before it got dark – I pitched and shagged the balls as he pelted them all over the yard. We got inside and he had dessert – then he wanted to go outside and play actual wiffle ball.

Wait – I thought that was what we just did? Outside – for 10 minutes? (I was worrying he had early onset dementia)

*tears welling* That wasn’t wiffle ball, that was practice. Now we need to go out and play the real wiffle ball.

Nope- sorry Bud – it’s dark out. We aren’t going back up. We had a miscommunication, tomorrow we can go out and play.

But you SAID – you SAID we could play. You lied to me – you SAID we could play. Tomorrow we’re going to play for 2 hours. 9 innings. You can’t say no.

And now, 10 minutes later, he’s still cursing my name.

Sep4

Just Say No

Posted on September 4, 2014 by Heather

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So…Scorch. We’re finding out very quickly that being in the 3rd grade is evidently the key to opening up all things sports in our town. Including tackle football.

We are a football family. My brother played as a kid as did the Hubs. In fact, when I met the Hubs he was coaching a local high school team which meant we went to an average of 3 high school football games a week. Friday Night Lights is one of my all time favorite shows (clear eyes, full hearts can’t lose!). And, most importantly, Scorch has been playing flag football for the past 4 years and he *loves* it. So basically, I know I’m destined to be a football mom and, fears about concussions aside, I’m totally fine with that.

But not at age 8.

Not when the weight limit to be eligible to play is 50 lbs and Scorch weighs 54 lbs. Especially not when you consider the upper weight limit is almost 3 times Scorch’s weight.

And not when playing tackle football requires 2 hours of practice 5 days a week with games on Saturday.

So as geeked up as Scorch was about playing, we had to stay no. We’re not willing to subject his little body to football yet and, selfishly, I’m not willing to commit my family to a sport with that intensity yet. We explained all this to him and it sucked. The poor kid is devastated and I feel like the world’s biggest jerk but we’re not backing down from this one.

This is the first time we’ve had to say no to something like this. Sure, Scorch has dealt with no’s plenty of times before but not about something so important to him. I feel like we crossed some huge parenting milestone and I’m not at all thrilled with it. Parenting – who knew it would be this hard?!

Sep3

The First Day

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Heather

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Dear kiddos-

Happy first day of school! For the first time ever, you started school on the same day. That means the Bean is Big now, which means I may have gotten teary-eyed leaving you both at school. Never mind that you both have been going to this school since you were 3 and that the Bean literally only moved up a floor, it was a Big Moment.

In typical fashion, when we got to school Scorch, you were off like a shot playing with your friends and ready to pick up where you left off in June. Bean, you were little more shy and reserved. You stuck to my hip until you had to step away and once you did, you were fine. By the time I left, you were both smiling and back in your groove.

I swear, my kid’s legs are clean- they are just bruised like crazy. Why? Who knows.

So, 3rd grade and 1st grade. How is that possible? I’m so excited for you both this year- it’s going to be great. Don’t ask me how I know that- I just do, I’m your mom. Like every year, I have some hopes for you. Want to know what they are? Of course you do…

> I hope that you have fun. At the end of the day, I hope you enjoy every aspect from math to reading to technology to recess. School should be *fun.* I know school can be a pressure cooker (especially for you, Scorch in 3rd grade) but don’t let that get to you. Stay enthusiastic and keep perspective.

> I wish you kindness. Kindness towards others but also kindness towards yourself. No one is perfect so cut yourself, your teachers and your friends some slack.

> I wish you courage. Be strong kiddos and know your worth. Stand up for yourself and those who can’t, or won’t, stand up for themselves. Remember right from wrong and know that right will always win, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

> I hope that you learn discipline. (I’m looking at you, Scorch.) Keep track of your things, stay organized and take responsibility for yourself. We’ll help, of course- but it’s time to step up, little man.

> I wish you curiosity and love of learning. Seriously- not everything will be your cup of tea (see me + math) but never stop wondering why things work and how your teachers got that answer. Ask questions. Ask a million questions until you have answers that satisfy you. Want to know things, children – it’s an amazingly huge world and the possibilities are endless.

> I hope you have friends. Lots and lots of friends. The only way you’ll get these friends is by being a good friend. Cliche, but true. So be nice, be friendly, be polite and be open to everyone you meet.

Good luck, kiddos! This is going to be amazing!

Love,

Mom

Jun19

You’re Out

Posted on June 19, 2014 by Heather

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This year Scorch had to try out for Little League to see what division he’d play in. If he was deemed ready, he’d get pulled up to the Minors division (roughly ages 8 – 10/11); if not, he’d stay at the Rookies (ages 5 – 8). He didn’t much care either way so he went to tryouts, did his best and called it a day. We found out a few days later that he made it into the Minors so that is how Scorch became the smallest kid on his team.

The day the Hubs, who was one of the coaches, came home with the uniforms I about died. He pulled out Scorch’s youth small jersey and then he pulled out the adult large jersey. I figured it had to be for one of the coaches- but I figured wrong. That was for one of Scorch’s teammates. *gulp*

Scorch wasn’t the best kid on the team by a long shot. He doesn’t have the bigger kid’s strength, speed or game knowledge. But damned if he didn’t try. He worked hard (most of the time) and just enjoyed the hell out of playing ball. He, and the rest of his teammates, got better and better as the season went on and it was a blast watching them play.

Back when he was 4 and every game ended in a tie.

~*~*~

Tonight we found ourselves in the run for the Championship game. Playoffs are double elimination and we’d already lost a game. We started out losing badly, but managed to come back so we were down by 2 in our last at bats. Bases were loaded, 2 outs and Scorch was up.

I couldn’t watch- my heart was in my throat.

2 balls and 2 strikes.

And then Scorch strikes out.

Just like that, the season is over.

~*~*~

Scorch came out of the dugout after the game with his head held high. He thanked his coaches for a great season and said goodbye to his teammates. But on the way back to the car, his chin started to quiver and his eyes filled up. I pulled him aside to let the Bean go ahead and we had a long conversation about the season, how well he tried, how much he improved and how it was Ok to be sad that the season was over and it was even fine to be disappointed about how it ended but that it wasn’t Ok to beat himself up. He listened without saying a word and quietly climbed into the car.

~*~*~

This is Scorch’s first experience with real heartbreak and disappointment. I know in my head that all kids go through this and have to deal with losing sooner or later. I also know it’s good for them- it builds character and makes the kids try even harder next time. But it doesn’t mean it’s easy to see. My mama bear instinct is to wrap my baby up in bubblewrap and let him go on thinking he’s the best around because that’s easier. It’s simpler and it’s safer. He’s 8 for goodness sake- isn’t that just one step removed from an infant?! But I don’t do that because that doesn’t help him in the long run. I hug him, I love him and I tell him how proud I am of him and that I’m here to talk if wants. And then I let him figure out how to sort through this hard knock himself because I know while it may be the first, it’s won’t be the last.

Sometimes growing up is just plain hard.

May14

Eight

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Heather

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Dear Scorch-

Happy, happy 8th birthday, baby boy! I’ve said it every year and I’m sure I’ll keep saying it- I cannot believe you’re another year older. 8. Eight is huge. Eight is a kid. Not a toddler. Not a pre-schooler. Not a kindergartener. Not even a little boy. You’re a KID. You sweat and you stink and you have more wise remarks then I have hairs on my head. And you’re awesome.

When I describe you to other people, I usually call you a puppy dog. You’re just So Happy To Be Here, where ever here is. School? Love it. Baseball? Love it. Home? Love it. Car ride? Love it. You very rarely grumble and you’re always up for anything. If you do get it in a snit, you’re over it in no time. You love to see your friends but you’re happy to meet new people too.

This year was a great one for you. You rocked it out in 1st grade and you slid right into 2nd grade without any fuss. This year has been the year of Taking Responsibility. You’re learned the hard way (*cough*afewtimes*cough*) that you are in charge of you- your homework, your notebooks, your viola, and your stuff. We try very hard to help you stay organized but at the end of the day, it’s on you. Some days are better then others, but you’re learning.

You want to do well at everything. Even though you have 5 homework passes to use that gets you out of work, you never want to use them even if it means getting up at 6 am to finish work from the night before. But you’re not a perfectionist which is both nice and really frustrating. This is the first year you’ve gotten a few bad grades because you just rushed and didn’t pay attention to directions and you were both stricken and amused over the fact that the world didn’t end when you got your first 68% on a test.

This year you got pulled up to the next level in baseball. This means you’re playing with kids that are literally double your size- kids in 5th grade. Some of them wear an adult large jersey. You, bud, wear a youth small. I was (am) a basket case about this. You? You are just happy to be there. You try your hardest, you work hard and you have a freaking blast playing! You’ve completely held your own across the board and it’s so much fun to watch. You don’t get mad, you don’t get frustrated, you just do your best and never stop smiling. I see some of the older kids and while I’m sure they are awesome, they don’t seem to have your enthusiasm. Please, please, please- don’t ever lose that enthusiasm.

~*~*~
Last night, you were super upset because one of your hermit crabs may/may not be dying (who knows with them). So to cheer you up, I told you about the night you were born.

Your dad and I went to the movies that night to see Mission Impossible 2 and on our way there we drove over some roads that were torn to shreds by construction. It was an incredibly bumpy ride and we joked that if that didn’t bring on labor, nothing would. After the movie we got a late dinner and came home. I went into in bed a little after midnight and when I rolled over, I felt this POP and I knew immediately that my water broke. You have never seen such a large woman move so quickly as I vaulted out of bed and ran to the bathroom because you see, my water didn’t break gently- it broke with gusto and was getting everywhere.

I yelled for your dad that it was time. And he yelled back “Time for what?” Which made me laugh and laugh which made my water come out faster. When your father finally caught up with what was happening, he came leaping up the stairs and immediately slid on the water on the floor and almost did a complete split. Which made me laugh harder. Once I stopped giggling, I got cleaned up and grabbed our bags while your father vacuumed. Why? I don’t know- but he did the same thing the night I went into labor with your sister.

On the ride up to hospital we talked quietly as my contractions picked up about who we thought you may be. We tried and waited and prayed for your for almost 3 years. We spent all this time trying to get (and stay) pregnant that it wasn’t until then that it actually dawned on me that there would be a baby at the end of this car ride. We didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl or what we’d name you- but none of that mattered. You’d be ours.

Labor and delivery were as picture perfect as they come. You came out crying at 9:52 am with a shock of dark hair. A boy. My baby boy. You were perfect.

~*~*~
And you still are. You’re everything we hoped for, dreamed for and prayed over. I continue to wish you everything I did last year. Those are things I’ll always wish for you. But this year I’m adding in that I hope you never stop viewing life like a puppy. May you always be excited for everything life hands you and may you always be happy to be where you are.

Happy birthday, bubs. We couldn’t love you more if we tried.

Love,
Mommy

May6

Snippits

Posted on May 6, 2014 by Heather

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Ah- baseball season. That time of year where we’re lucky if we have one night every two weeks free from practice or games. It’s fun, but so freaking exhausting. Which is why I’m posting snippets from my week today- I don’t have the brain power for anything more.

Scorch made his 1st Communion this past weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony full of 8 year old dressed in their finest trying not to giggle (then gag) over the fact that they could drink wine. We were lucky to have all 3 sets of Scorch’s grandparents and one uncle up for the day to celebrate with us and to ohhh and ahh over my kid. Scorch’s wardrobe outside of school consists of high-water sweatpants and t-shirts so seeing him in a full suit was a treat!

~*~*~

I was outside this weekend vacuuming out the car and when I walked in the house, Scorch is yelling for me that something is wrong with the Bean. I run up the stairs to find her sitting on a chair, sobbing in agony without making a sound. I start to panic trying to figure out what’s going on…to find out there is a bee on her. A teeny-tiny baby honey-bee on her leg.

I thought something was eating her flesh.

Not THE bee- just a pic of a bee I took a few summer ago.

I removed the bee without her getting stung, but she was DONE for the day. She literally wouldn’t go into a room in our house for two days without me/the Hubs/Scorch searching the room for stealth bees. Poor chick. She’s so lucky I feel so badly for her other wise I’d really enjoy tormenting her.

~*~*~

Scorch’s birthday is coming up, so Sunday we took 10 8 year old boys to an entertainment center for 3 hours. First we sugared them up with pizza, soda and cake, then we let them run wild and play two games of laser tag. Then we gave them each a handful of tokens in the arcade. THEN those who wanted to could get harnessed up and walk a ropes course 3 stories off the ground.

So much fun, so glad I never have to do that again. 10 8-year olds are exhausting.

Apr15

Turning it Off

Posted on April 15, 2014 by Heather

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Dear sweet boy-

You came out of bed tonight and told me you were having trouble turning off your brain. I know that, your father knows that and your therapist knows that- I just didn’t realize you knew that. I didn’t realize you had the words to express that.

It’s not anxiety- you aren’t particularly nervous about anything- you just can’t quiet your brain. You wanted to talk about your itchy eyes, your allergies, your book report. You wanted to know how long it would be to get to Mimi’s house on Friday and what we’d do there. You wanted to know when the snow would melt (again) and if the snakes in the creek would be OK. All those questions, all those thoughts- all fired at me within 2 minutes.

You’re good natured about it all and you take my exasperated answers in stride. When I finally cut off your stream of questions, you don’t protest. You give me one more hug and a kiss and you go back to bed with the promise that I’ll check on you in 5 minutes. Most night you’re asleep within that time frame, but sometimes it’s not that easy to stop the flow of thoughts tumbling around from your brain to your lips.

I wonder what it’s like to live in your brain. I’d imagine it’s amazing with everything firing all at once. I wonder why it’s bedtime that all these thoughts come to the surface. I used to think you were stalling but now I think it’s just because it’s the only time you’re ever still.

Keep asking all your crazy questions, sweet boy- just try to ask them all before 8 pm. I promise you’ll get better answers out of me then.

Love,

Mom

Mar6

Mom, I have a Question

Posted on March 6, 2014 by Heather

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This evening as I was putting the Scorch to bed, he got really quiet and thoughtful. Then he uttered the dreaded statement:

Mom, I have a question.

Now, I like answering my kids questions. I love how their imagination works and I love that they are constantly trying to learn new things. But you never know what they are going to ask. It could be anything. And questions saved for right before bed are typically Big Questions- questions that the kids have been mulling over all day.

So I’m ready for anything. How are babies are made? Is Santa real? Are there aliens out there? I take a deep breath, sit down on the side of his bed and look him right in the eye, asking what’s on his mind.

Ethan told me that Michael Jackson died when his was sitting on the toilet. Is that true?

Oh. Well. Wasn’t expecting that. Way to keep me on my toes, kid.

Jan26

I Shall Call Him Toothless

Posted on January 26, 2014 by Heather

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After an agonizing 3 days, Scorch finally lost his top tooth. This sucker has been hanging on by a thread for days & was disgusting. Now he has a lisp and can’t eat an apple to save his life. It’s oddly adorable.

And that, my friends, is the most exciting thing going on in our lives right now. And it’s wonderful. After the craziness that was 2013, it’s so very nice to have nothing exciting happening. Life is just humming along. The kids got amazingly wonderful report cards on Friday, I’m juggling 4 part time jobs that I enjoy and the Hubs is keeping the streets safe.

I did have a job interview last week that went really well. It’s a challenging position for a national company doing something that I love. But it’s also an hour away. So I went into the interview enthusiastically and I spent an amazing 2.5 hours talking to like-minded people about a topic I feel passionately about- I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. And when all was said and done, I met with the HR rep I was working with and explained to him the flexible work arrangement I’d need in order to take the job, knowing full well that what I was asking for may cost me the job. And that was totally OK.

If this job had fallen in my lap right after I lost my old job, I would have taken it and been absolutely thrilled to have it regardless of the commute and the impact on my family’s life. Back in Sept / Oct, I was in such a panic about cutting my family’s income in half that I couldn’t see past the dollar signs. Yet, here we are 3 months later and you know what? We’re fine. The corners we had to cut back in the fall were really, really painful then and, sometimes, they still are. But they are also part of life now. I’m cooking a lot more- sometimes that’s good and sometimes (like tonight) not so good. We play a lot of Uno (a lot of Uno) and watch movies on Netflix- going out now is a huge event that takes on an all new meaning. I work when I work and all my employers know that if I promise them a set number of hours or deliverables a week, they will get them but my hours may be a tad unorthodox as I now have the luxury to truly work around the kid’s schedules.

I’d love a full time job, but it’s amazingly liberating to know that I can wait until I find the right one.