The Last Word


When Scorch gets in Big Trouble, it not usually over what he’s done.  It’s typically because after the fact he will not stop talking. Ever.

Take today for example.  The kids were watching a movie after school when halfway through, Beaner decides to annoy her brother by turning off the TV.  So Scorch shoved her, she fell over and chaos ensued.

When the dust settled, Bean was reprimanded for annoying her brother and Scorch was in trouble for pushing his sister.  It wasn’t a big deal nor did it merit a huge punishment for either kid, but Scorch was indignant that he got in any trouble at all. Clearly everything was the Bean’s fault- she was mean and rude and awful and he, Scorch, wanted an immediate apology (note: one was already given) and a full pardon.  Nothing else would do and Scorch kept going on and on and on about this grave injustice.

He got himself worked up even more by listing every single sin his sister (and I and the Hubs) had made against him during his entire life , crying and carrying on.  Finally I sent him to his room for 15 minutes just to give him time to calm down. He wasn’t in trouble, but he did need to shut his mouth, get control of himself and relax a bit.

Within a minute or two, there was silence coming from his room and I relaxed thinking that he finally got it together. Just as I was getting ready to go down the hall to talk to him, Scorch stepped out of his room and threw a wadded up piece of paper at me yelling at me to read it.  So I did.

Translation: "I don't like you. You're being mean."

Evidently having me laugh so hard I almost peed myself wasn’t the appropriate response to his missive, because Scorch sent another one almost immediately following.

Translation: "I hate you."

Obviously that note with that language wasn’t met with outward laughter and Scorch, the Bean and I had a long talk about how words can hurt and all that, but inside I really did pee my pants.  The fact that Scorch 1) can’t keep his mouth shut and 2) expresses himself by writing me notes where he sound out the words all by himself gives me endless hours of entertainment after the fact.  I do love that kid!


About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at

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