You Say Jump…


See that picture? That’s a picture of Scorch trying his darndest to help the Bean’s sled go further after her attempt down the hill didn’t take her as far as she wanted. The problem? He’s actually pushing her up a slight incline. Why is he doing this- slipping, sliding and sweating the whole time? Because she started to throw a fit when we both told her no two minute earlier.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is an issue.

If I haven’t made it clear here before, let me state again that the Bean is not just smart, but she’s clever. She knows how to get to someone and will press on that weakness until you’re ready to beg for mercy. And Scorch cannot stand to see her throwing a fit 90% of the time.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said no to the Bean over something-no, you can’t have another cookie. no, I’m taking the sword away because you’ve impaled your brother too many, I’m not making a 3rd breakfast for you because you’ve decided that you no longer wants toast/eggs/waffles/whatever-and she’s dissolved into a shrieking, screaming, frothing-at-the-mouth hell hound demanding I give her whatever she wants. Now. Or Else.

I don’t negotiate with terrorists, so when I say no, I mean no.  But Scorch, being the sucker that he is, can’t stand seeing Bean so unhappy and hearing all her racket, so next thing I know I have the Bean screaming at me because she’s mad and Scorch screaming at me to give her what ever it is she wants just to quiet her down for Pete’s sake!

It’s fun, is what I’m telling you.

I find myself explaining to the Bean- again- why she’s not getting what she wants and then having to defend my actions to Scorch, rationalizing why I’m not attempting to tame my wild child and instead letting her scream so loudly that our ears ring. And while the Bean is screaming, she’s also playing close attention. This week alone she got the aforementioned push up the hill, Scorch’s site word ring from school, a beloved football and one of his prized stuff animals all thru the power of her scream.

If that boy doesn’t wise up soon, he’s screwed.


About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at

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