Talking about Trauma


20 kids.

All weekend long, I couldn’t stop thinking about those 20 kids and 6 adults.  A whole classroom of 1st graders- gone. Scorch is in 1st grade.

It’s like a loop in my head that I can’t turn off- the feelings of shock and anger and sorrow and thankfulness for all that I have.  So I’ve said a lot of prayers and hugged my kids (and my friends kids) a heck of a lot tighter this weekend.  We’ve also donated, knowing it’ll never be enough, but hoping that somehow it’ll help.

The Hubs and I haven’t had the news on this weekend around the kids. It’s been strictly CDs and DVDs all weekend long, so the kids have no idea what’s happened. The shooting was alluded to a few times in Church today, but that went right over the kid’s heads. Which is how is should be- 4 year olds and 6 year olds should never have to give a thought to the evils of the world. Except, sometimes, no matter how you try to protect them, evils intrudes.

Our school system has been wonderful, sending out emails on Friday and again today discussing their emergency planning and how the school plans to address the shooting in CT.  The school the kids attend is PreK- 6th grade and we have been told that the teachers will not be bringing up the subject in class.  But what if one the kids does?

So the Hubs and I have been debating all night if we tell the kids about what happened. I am, by my nature, an open book and have been known a time or two to over share and give my kids way more info then they need.  I’ve always felt that I’d rather my kids hear things from me then anywhere else, even if what they are hearing is scary or sad.  The Hubs, on the other hand, sees the bad on a daily basis at his job and does whatever he can to shield the kids from the ills of the world.  Add in Scorch’s anxiety and I honestly have no idea if we should talk to them about this or not.

I’ve been scouring the internet and taking informal polls on Facebook and there is no one, right answer. There are a ton of wonderful, wonderful resources on how to talk to your kids about the CT shooting- but not one that says that yes, you should tell them or no, you shouldn’t.  The kids are asleep now, so clearly the time for talking tonight is past. I think we’re going to wait to see what questions they come home with tomorrow. Is it too much to hope for that they don’t get wind of this at all and they can keep their innocence for a little while longer?


About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at

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