So…back to school. Scorch started today and Beaner starts tomorrow (which is good since, you know, stomach bug). The Bean was feeling better today, so we did go and drop off her supplies to her classroom. While she was doing a quick project, I made small talk with her teacher.  In the midst of our conversation, it came out that out of the 26 kids in the Bean’s class, 19 of them were girls.

As the Bean’s teacher was telling me this her nose crinkled as she wore that universal look of “Whoo boy.” And I found myself mimicking her- frankly upset that the Bean was going to have to be around all that estrogen. Ugh. The drama.  Girls- they are sort of the worst, aren’t they? That’s why I moved the Bean to a boy-heavy class last year, you know?

And then I caught myself. Because I’m a girl. And I’m kind of awesome. And so is my Mom. And my sister. And the rest of my relatives. And my female friends- some of whom I’ve had since 3rd grade.  So why all the girl hate? Because that- that is the worst.

Some of it may because the only true female friendship the Bean’s had over the past few years that I’ve seen up close has been full all the drama and yelling and tears that you dread. Each and every get together ends with me sitting both girls down, making them hold hands and explaining to them how friendship works- then they are good for a while, and back at it again. It astounds me how vicious they can be to each other with their words.  It’s both maddening and sad and I find myself holding my breath the whole time they’re together.

It may be because the vast majority of the kids I spend time with, outside of the Bean, are boys. Scorch, his friends, my nephews- they’ve all become the Bean’s friends and she often time prefers hanging out with them than the girls. I’m not raising a girly-girl- she’s much more apt to play Star Wars and Harry Potter than she is My Little Pony or Barbies. I’m not saying that boys are easy all the time- but they seems to be easier thus far than girls in my limited experience.

But whatever the reason, I’m over it.

I’m over the fretting and worrying and the wrinkling of my nose. Because girls ARE awesome and this is going to be the year Bean embraces that. I’m so thankful that she has so many amazing role models in her life- male and female- that she and Scorch can pattern after. I’m so glad that I have family and friends close by so she can see how friendship works. How we listen to and respect each other. How we settle our difference and talk things through and how we never have to resort to meanness. The girl’s Bean has class with are the kids she’ll be stuck with until at least 6th grade so even if they all don’t become BFFs and sing Justin Bieber songs together, she is going to be kinds and respectful even if it kills me.

I wish my kids a lot of things, but at the top of that list is always the friendships I’ve been lucky to have. And I know for the Bean some of them will start tomorrow on her first day of Kindergarten.


About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at

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