As my kids get older, I try really hard not to cross that line. I don’t want to embarrass them, nor do I ever want the words I share here to haunt them as they grow.
But some stories are just too good not to share. (warning: slightly crude language ahead).
I was putting things away in the bathroom while Scorch was taking his shower. Once Scorch knew I was in the room, he started talking. Or, more specifically, asking questions. I kid you not- not a word of this is made up or embellished.
Mom- what happens if your balls pop?
You mean your testicles?
Yeah- those. What happens if they pop?
Well, why in the word would they pop?
Let’s say I was playing with them and they just popped- what would happen?
We’d have to go to the hospital I would imagine.
Do they have pee in them? I guess they have pee in them and the pee would go all through my body.
Maybe, buddy- I don’t know. (We have still not had The Talk so if he wants to think they have pee in them, they have pee in them.)
I bet it would hurt, wouldn’t it?
I think so! The question is, why are you playing with them so hard you’re afraid they’ll pop?
I don’t play with them that hard- and I don’t want them to pop. They’re awesome- like always having a toy attached to me.
And then I walked out of the room because I couldn’t talk through my laughing.