For some reason my Facebook feed has been full of posts this week trying to make me feel guilty.
Guilty for not hanging on your every word and every thought and every moment. Guilty for yelling at you. Guilty for not staying home with you full time.
And you know how it makes me feel? Really freaking annoyed.
Let me tell you a secret, my darlings.
I’m doing the best I can.
I adore you both to the moon and back and think you two are *the* most amazing creatures on earth. But sometimes after pushing you for 15 minutes straight at the park on the swings, I’m bored. So yes, I’m checking my phone. Maybe it’s to text your dad about dinner or maybe it’s to check the news or maybe it’s to do something completely frivolous. So what? You’re not neglected, you’re not ignored and you are more then capable of entertaining yourself for 5 minutes.
And, yes, sometimes I yell. Loudly. Repeatedly. And usually after 1) I’ve asked you to do something five times nicely already or 2) you’ve done something dumb that you know is not allowed like smacked your sibling. I don’t yell for long and when I’m done, I don’t hold a grudge or try to shame you. I don’t try to intimidate you and make you fear me, but you know what? Sometimes a little fear is a good, good thing. There were more then a few times when I didn’t do something I shouldn’t have simply because I was scared of how Nana and Papa would react.
I’m far from a perfect parent, but our house is filled with love. Yup, this new job means for a least a few nights a week our life is crazy but we never go to bed without playing some game and we rarely ever don’t eat as a family. We have breakfast together in the morning and the last words you hear me say when I drop you off at school is “I love you, have a good day!” (admittedly at bedtime you hear “I love you and don’t want to see you until morning.” but still).
We love you madly and you know it- so I’m saying to hell with the guilt.