I survived another round of a stomach bug in my house. This makes 3 times in the past 5 weeks and I didn’t even hide from my kids in the garage once. I’m clearly aiming for Mother of the Year.

Or at least I was until yesterday when Scorch yelled at me that I’m the Worst Mom EVVVVVERRRR!

My crimes were plentiful:

1. I Don’t Listen, Part 1: When my son prattled on and on for over 2 hours about how he wants to celebrate his birthday in 2 months complete with Googling and a full list of pros and cons of seeing a PG-13 movie that not everyone can go see and a PG movie everyone can, I’m supposed to hang on every word. (spoiler alert: I did not)
2. I Don’t Listen, Part 2: When Scorch is told no to something (say, his request to start a new board game he doesn’t know how to play literally 5 minutes before bed), I’m supposed to stand there and listen to him try to convince me otherwise for as long as he feels like arguing. (spoiler alert: I did not)
3. I Hurt Him: When play-dragging my son under his arms to his bed, he went limp on purpose, which caused me to trip over his sudden dead-weight and drop him from a distance of roughly 1 foot onto the ground onto his butt. According to Scorch, I’m the worst person ever because I “threw” him to the ground and hurt him.

Oh the drama, it runs deep and fierce in my son.

~*~*~*

Yesterday, I kept the Bean home from school to make sure she was entirely recovered from her stomach bug. She was at the weird spot where she felt 85% healthy, but wasn’t completely recovered yet. Basically this meant she was into everything because she was bored of laying around.  So she got into my book shelf and found the copy of The Care and Keeping of You that I bought earlier this year. The Care and Keeping Of You is a great book that outlines all the changes a girl will go through during puberty and discusses things like changes to her body, menstruation, dietary needs, personal hygiene, etc. It’s a great, great book (as is the boys version), but I wasn’t ready to show it to her just yet- I had it on hand for someday. I guess “someday” meant March 1.

The first page Beaner turned to was the one discussing the pros and cons of pads vs tampons. Because of course it was.

So that is why my daughter now knows all about what a period is and that some ladies stick things up their vaginas to soak up the blood. You’re welcome, fellow moms in her class!