Dear Bean,

Last month, you turned 18. I started this blog a month after you turned 2 and now you’re a full-fledged legal adult and, holy cow, are you amazing. Watching you grow has been one of the biggest blessings in my life and I pretty much think you’re one of the coolest people I knew.

I’ve sat on this post for a little while because this year has been a lot in all the best ways. You graduated high school! You’re working two jobs. You’re trying to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. You’ve kept your two best friends but you’ve also expanded your social circle so much. My child who never wanted to leave the house now has a busier social life than all of us combined. You’ve dated a few different guys, gone to your fair share of parties, knocked us all dead a Prom, took your first major road trip sans parents to a concert in Baltimore- you’ve just blossomed this past year.

But through it all, you’ve stayed completely yourself that is, hands down, my favorite thing about you. You were born knowing exactly what you wanted and when you wanted it, and you’ve just stayed that way your whole life. Do you know how incredible that is? Most people wrestle with taking up too much space, or being true to themselves, or voicing their needs – not you, my girl. It’s maddening sometimes, but it’s also something I hope you never lose.

A boy recently told you that he wanted to date you this summer, but to break up when college started. And you? You, my darling child, told him that you were “not a placeholder.” I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of you, because you know your own worth.

So, 17 was a hell of year. And now, you’re 18. And life is changing, a lot. Most of your friends are going away for college, but you’re not. Instead, you’ve decided to take classes at the local community college and get your esthetician license in the winter- something we fully support. I’m so proud of you for taking the time needed to figure things out instead of following a (very expensive) path just because that’s what’s expected of you. I may not know exactly where life is going to take you, but I have zero doubt that you’ll end up exactly where you’re supposed to.

So, here are my birthday wishes for you:

• Never lose that sense of self. Never bend for someone who isn’t worthy of you. Never change, or make yourself smaller, or apologize for who you are.
• Take the time you need to figure out your next steps. I promise you’ll end up exactly where you’re meant to be if you listen to your gut – it hasn’t lead you astray yet.
• Hold on to you high school friends. A & L are forever. They’ll know you through every twist and turn of your life and that’s a true treasure. It’ll be different – but their friendship will still be your solid foundation.
• Make new friends. Let yourself meet different people at college and cosmetology school. Talk to everyone. Be curious. Have an open heart. Life is full of amazing people with astounding stories and opportunities and now its the time to start meeting them all.
• Work hard. Whatever you decide to do, decide to do it well. Life it too short to half-ass it. So make your life into what you want it to be – the possibilities are endless.

No matter where life takes you, we’ll always have your back. We’re here to cheer you on, support you, love you, guide you, protect you, and give you tough love. We’ll always be your biggest fans and your safe space. So, embrace this crazy time, make the most of it, and see what the world has to offer you.

All my love,

Mom