Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Nov15

Smells Like Syrup

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The Bean is  incapable of keeping her shoes and socks on.  When we’re in the car, it doesn’t matter how far we’re going or how cold it is out, the first thing she’ll do it take off her shoes and socks. This morning’s ride to school was no exception.

“Scorch- smell my shoes! They smell like syrup!!!”

“I don’t want to smell your shoes.”

“SMELL THEM!!”

pretending to smell her shoes. “Yup-smells like syrup, Bean.”

*pause*

“Scorch, they don’t taste like syrup. Yuck!”

Today I’m thankful for curious kids and unexpected laughs at 7:45 in the morning!

Nov14

With an Air of Confidence

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Scorch  had a flag football game this weekend and we were running really late.  We had a chaotic morning that was capped off with driving by a fender bender just as the emergency vehicles were getting there which delayed us a lot.  The Hubs was already at the field and he was texting me like crazy to find out when we were getting there.   When we arrived at the sports complex it was packed- there were skating lessons starting, soccer getting out and a birthday party in full swing. The parking lot was packed and I had no idea where I was going to park.  So I texted the Hubs and let him know that I was going to drop Scorch off front and let him walk to the field to find the Hubs while Bean and I parked the car. All Scorch had to do was walk through two sets of double doors, then turn left and walk into the field area.  Really not a big deal, but he’s 5 and I worry so I was a little hesitant to let him go, but I figured he’d be fine.

Just as the doors closed behind Scorch and I pull away from the curb, I got a text from the Hubs telling me he’s not on the field, he’s in the bathroom.

I wasn’t worried about Scorch getting kidnapped or being hurt, I was more concerned with him freaking out if he couldn’t find his dad quickly. As I frantically looked for a parking spot, all I could envision was Scorch standing in the middle of the crowd sobbing because he didn’t know where we were.

Turns out I was worrying for nothing. The Hub’s Dad and Step-Mom were waiting inside the entrance so Scorch waited with them. But even if he didn’t find them, judging by what my in-law’s said, Scorch would have been fine. Evidently he knew just about everyone in the place and was really too busy greeting his friends and high-fiving people to talk to my in-laws much.

And that is what I’m thankful for today- a little boy who is confident enough to walk into a place and talk to everyone he sees. A 5 year old who can’t walk 2 feet in school without being greeted by an older kid. A kid who doesn’t know that not everyone will want to be his friend and who has no problem walking up to complete strangers and striking up a conversation.  May he always be this confident and sure of himself.

Nov10

Choices

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As noted earlier, the Bean is going through a control freak stage. To try to circumvent that, we’ve been giving her choices when ever possible.  Choices in her clothes, the stuffed animal she can take to bed, her drink, her snacks, books- you name it and we try to give her options.

But there are times when there are no choices to give- like bedtime.

Me: You need to go to bed. It’s bedtime and you’re tired.

Bean: But I don’t have a choice.

Me: No, you don’t. It’s time to sleep and that is that.

Bean: But I want a choice. What’s my other choice? I no like this one.

Me: There is no other choice- it is what is is.

Bean: But…but…but.

Round and round we went for a few minutes before the Bean finally caved.

Tonight I’m thankful for my clever girl who clearly gets what we’re trying to do and isn’t afraid to turn our logic against us to win another round.  May she always use her powers for good.

Nov9

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This morning, the stomach bug hit our house. This time, it was Beaner’s turn. Scorch was the one who had it 2 weeks ago- I really don’t understand how germs work in my house.  Unfortunately, I got a minor (I hope) case too- so this will be short and sweet.

Today I’m thankful for:

> Kids that can warn me before they get ill
> Kids that can run fast and get sick in the proper places
> Kids TV on Demand even if it does mean 2 straight hours of Dora.
> A husband who was so freaked out over the thought of our 5 year old walking himself into school (mind you, I would have walked him to the front door), that he came home from work to take Scorch in himself.
>Scorch’s teacher who was kind enough to walk him to the car after school so I didn’t have to bring myself or my germy 3 year old into school to get him.
> Toast & flat soda. Amen.

What are you feeling thankful for today?

Nov8

Follow Along & You Won’t Get Hurt

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I’ve mentioned a time or twelve that life with the Bean is anything but boring.  That child is joyful and funny and smart and animated and amazing.

But she’s also a bit of a control freak.

As one of my oldest and dearest friends pointed out when I called her in a panic earlier this week about the Bean’s recent behavior, I too can also be a control freak.  As can the Hubs- it’s his way or the highway.  Somehow Scorch managed to miss most of those genes, but whatever he’s lacking, the Bean got in spades.  Here is a conversation (I’m using that term loosely) that we had the other night at bedtime.  Beaner had seen a mom nursing earlier in the day, so she wanted to know who she knew that was also nursed by their mom.  Easy enough, right?

Bean: Mommy, I’m going to ask you a name, kay?

Me: Ok.

Beaner: Jane?

Me: Yes, her mommy nursed her when she was a baby.

Bean: Don’t talk to me!

Me: What?

Bean: You can’t talk- only I talk.  You just look at me.

Me: (WTH??) Ok, fine.

Bean: Did Jane nurse?

Me: *staring, not talking*

Bean: Did Jane nurse? Mommy- did she? Did she nurse?? Mommy- answer me!

Me: Yes

Bean: I SAID DON’T TALK TO ME!

Then her head rotated 180 degrees and she started speaking in tongues.  Or at least that’s what it felt like.

You can swap in various other scenarios, but the script is the same.  Like earlier today, it was the Bean asking for a snack, but not telling me what she wanted and then getting mad when I dare ask her and getting even more mad when I don’t ask her when she tells me not to talk.  It’s maddening and I’m scared silly over how she’s going to try to lord over us when she’s older if she’s like this at 3!  Any one else raising a dictator?

~*~*~*~

Given that it’s the month of Thanksgiving, I’m going to try to note one thing in each post this month that I’m thankful for.  Today, I’m thankful for the gorgeous weather we’re having this week.  Winter is nipping at our heels so these beautiful sunny days when it’s 68 degrees out are the best gift Mother Nature can give right now.  So glad we get one more gorgeous day before the cold hits- I’m going to run my kids ragged at the park tomorrow!

Nov3

I Fought the Law…

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“Hey Mom, do you remember when the police pulled you over here and gave you a ticket last year?”

*sigh* “Yes, Scorch- I do remember that.”

“Did you have to go to jail?”

“Nope, I didn’t go to jail, buddy.  I was pulled over by mistake* so the police officer just gave me a ticket so I could go tell a judge what happened.  The judge saw that it was a mistake, so he just let me go.”

I’ll spare you the rest of the conversation, but needless to say, Scorch and the Bean had a gazillion questions and I spent the next 15 minutes in the car getting grilled by my kids about the judicial system, traffic laws and car insurance.  Don’t you wish you were there?

The only upside to that long conversation (that I’m sure wasn’t entirely factual) was that now every time I ask the Bean to do something, she’ll ask me if she doesn’t do it, will the policemen give her a ticket?  I wish I could tell you had the strength to be straight with my kid and tell the truth.  No, the police won’t give you a ticket for hitting your brother. No, the police won’t give you a ticket if you don’t go potty. No, the police won’t give you a ticket if you don’t come here right now.

But that would be a lie.**

As far as Beaner is concerned she could be ticketed for anything at anytime. And not just by the police. We may or may not have mentioned to her the concept of a citizen’s arrest and that may have resulted in one of the most peaceful weeks we’ve had in forever. Judge me all you want, but I may have finally found something that works for this kid and I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth. She’ll catch on soon enough.

*I got pulled over well over a year ago because the policeman ran my plates at a routine seatbelt check and found I didn’t have insurance. This was 2 weeks after we bought the car I was driving and it was insured, but there was a glitch with the insurance company reporting this fact to the state.  My insurance guy came to court with me on the appointed day to explain to the judge that the error was on their site and that I was in no way at fault and that was that.

**Before you think I’m poisoning my kid against the law, please remember The Hubs is a police officer.  So while I may lie to my kid about what she can get tickets for, we also make sure to stress how awesome police officers are, how they will always help you and so on.  And if she does grow up with a complex- well, insurance covers therapy and she’ll get over it soon enough.

Nov1

Happy (belated) Halloween

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I tried to post last night, I swear. But the lure of the candy and my comfy warm couch was just too much to resist.

We had a great Halloween! No one had to wear a snow suit (always a real possibility), the kiddos got good candy (not an Almond Joy in sight!) and my little buggers remembered to actually say Trick or Treat and Thank You at all the homes we hit.

Scorch loved being a Solider although exactly what kind of solider he was was up for debate.  The Bean was the cutest Lady Bug in town even though she only kept on her wings 50% of the time.  We trick or treated with some of our oldest friends and the kids were so exciting they were shaking.


I’m calling Halloween 2011 a complete success- hope you can say the same!

Oct27

The God’s Honest Truth

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I went out tonight with some of my favorite people for our monthly girls night (more on how freaking happy these nights make me soon). Anyhow, when we were out, conversation  naturally turned to our kids and I joked around with the women I was out with about my kids- the Bean’s temper, Scorch’s tears, our bedtime frustrations, the puking incident last night.  We all had a lot of laughs but on the way home all I could think about is what impression the new person in our group must have had about me, my kids and my mothering after the conversation we just had.  I hope she had enough of a sense of humor to find my stories entertaining and enough intuition to pick up just how much I love my kids.

Because I really, really do- that is the God’s honest truth.

The Bean makes me crazy and drives me to such extremes I don’t know what I’m doing sometimes.  She’s stubborn and strong and such a gigantic pain in the ass some nights that I do wonder what I did to deserve all this.  She can lie like a criminal, fight like a boxer and dig her heels in deeper then anyone I know.

She’s also funny as all get out, sweet as pie, and the biggest love bug I know.  The Bean is sunshine and joy and pure enjoyment 90% of the time.  She’s as smart as a whip and a complete delight to talk to.  I laugh so hard I get tears in my eyes when she “reads” me stories every night, complete with her own funny voices.  Although I often joke about giving her to the circus, I can’t imagine a single day with out her in it.  That’s the God’s honest truth.

Scorch is a drama queen.  For as stubborn and mule headed as the Bean can be, Scorch is equally as dramatic. The boy is ridiculous about all this stuff- his fossils, his stuffed animals, his rock collection. Throw anything away and be prepared for 30 minutes of tears.

But Scorch is also a compete joy.  He’s funny, sweet and caring.  For every time he wacks his sister, there are 10 other times that he give her what she wants just to see her smile.  He still wants to sit on my lap and is known for just wanting a hug and kiss just because.  He’s smart and coordinated and funny and goes out of his way to make people happy. He’s polite and simply a lot of fun to be around as he always has a fun comment or observation.  The God’s honest truth is that little boy owns my heart and I’m blessed to have both him and his sister in my life.

 

Oct26

Good & Bad

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The Bad

> Scorch came home from school feeling fine and then proceeded to puke everywhere 2 hours later. When the Hubs wasn’t home. So I had to clean it up. By myself.  All that = my worst nightmare come to life.
> The Bean woke up 2 days ago at 5 am and decided she was up for the day. I begged to differ, so I made her stay in bed until she finally fell back asleep at 6:15 am.  Last night she woke up at 3 am and we had the same battle until 4:20 am.
> Because of the Bean’s sleep battles, I’ve been too damn tired to get up and out at 5:10 to work out, so I’m feeling like an exhausted  slug.
> It’s supposed to snow tomorrow.

The Good

> I went to the library and found Bossypants just sitting there on the shelf for the taking. Mind you, it was the large print edition, but I’ve been on the waiting list for this book for months, so I’m thrilled. I also found a Vince Flynn book I hadn’t read (I hope!) and another good sounding book. Hoping this pushes me out of my reading slump.  I’m currently reading The Poisonwood Bible, but it’s still too early to determine if I like it or not.
> We booked our camping trip for the summer!  Sure, it’s 9 months away, but at least I’ve got something to look forward to.
> Scorch went to bed early tonight, so the Hubs and I got to spend some one on one time with the Bean.  Even if she is a pain in the butt, she’s pretty darn awesome and it’s fun to watch her shine.
> I didn’t gag, freak out, or run out of the room crying when Scorch got sick so I am feeling like a Responsible Parent.

Here’s hoping that tomorrows good outweighs the bad again!

Oct25

A Duel At Dawn

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Ever since Scorch was a baby, he has woken up at the same time just about every day. He has never been one of those kids who will sleep in late to make up for going to bed late. 7:30 pm or 11 pm, it really doesn’t matter what time he goes to bed- with the rare exception, the kid is up between 6 and 6:30 every day. I’m always fascinated when I share a room with Scorch at how consistent his body clock is. Right around 5 am he’ll turn from a deep sleeper to one who starts tossing and turning and by 6 am he’s up. That’s just how he’s wired. When he was a baby, he would get up even earlier then 6, so we made a rule in the house that he cannot call for us or get out of bed before 6 am and that’s been our routine for the past 3 years.

I’ll admit that that has made us a pretty schedule driven family. We may deviate from the bedtime by 30 minutes, but I’m not a fan of getting the kids to bed super late because there will be hell to pay in the shape of one over tired, uber-whiny kid the next day.

Which is exactly what happened a few weekends ago. The kiddos got to bed late one night for whatever reason and, like clockwork, Scorch was calling for us to get out of bed at 6 am. So I set him up with his favorite (long) movie and I went back to bed where the Hubs, Beaner and I all slept until 8 am. Scorch won’t nap any more so by 5 pm he was a crying, crazy mess because he was so stinking tired. By bedtime, the Hubs informed Scorch that under no circumstances is he allowed out of bed before 7 am any more the weekends. Period. That’s it. Don’t even bother arguing.

The Hubs was darn proud of himself for laying down the law and also a little giddy at the thought of not getting out of bed until 7. Too bad his vision of how things would go the next morning didn’t exactly line up to reality. 6 am dawned at Scorch was wide awake in his bed. So even though he didn’t get out of his room as instructed, he proceeded to:

> Call for us every 10 minutes for this or that.
> Go to the bathroom 3 times- trips that included turing on the hallway light and the bathroom light, banging around and generally being as loud as possible.
> Singing to himself in his room
> Whistling when told he had to stop singing
> Setting up an elaborate play with all his stuffed animals complete with 3 different voices.

We get more sleep when we just let him get up at 6 am and chill in front of a movie! But the Hubs is convinced we can train Scorch into sleeping longer if we keep this up. I’m of the mind we’re fighting a losing war- his body is just made to get up early. What say you?