Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Nov21

Simplification

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The Hubs and I aren’t big on New Years resolutions, but we both agreed that 2011 was going to be our year of simplification. Back in January, the Hubs and I were both working 40+ hour a week jobs and balancing 2 small businesses on top of trying to be hands on, involved parents.  The Hubs job at the time was  crazy one where his life was frequently not his own.  When you’re 22 and don’t have any kids,  being given 18 hours notice before having to leave on a 3 week business trip was annoying. Trying to do the same thing at 34 with 2 kids and 2 businesses to run was next to impossible.  Our primary small business was a labor of love, but as the kids got older the sacrifices being made didn’t seem worth it.

So over the course of this summer and early fall we started making the changes needed to streamline our lives to ensure that our family was our primary focus.

Best. Decision. Ever.

The Hubs is now home every night for dinner. He no longer has to work a second job that is an hour away 3 nights a week and all day Saturday. We have true family time.  Before, we’d try to squeeze in a full weekend worth of activities and task in on a Sunday after Church.  It wasn’t restful or fun and more often then not we ended up more stressed then ever.  Now we have time for family hikes, time at the park, lazy Sunday’s watching football and so much more.

The decisions we made to get us here weren’t easy, but I’m so thankful we made them. I’m thankful to have my husband around every night after 5 years of pure craziness. I’m thankful our kids aren’t surprised any more when Daddy is home for dinner.  Can’t wait to see what 2012 brings!

Nov17

Lala Love

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Almost a year ago, my sister was admitted to the hospital.  She was 27 weeks pregnant and had a routine prenatal appointment on a Wednesday. That day her blood pressure was a little higher then normal and her doctor wanted to monitor her, so he asked her to come back in two days later for a quick check.  We weren’t worried- Red was healthy and her pregnancy was completely normal up until then.  But during that check on Friday, her blood pressure was even higher and they found protein in her urine.  She was put on strict bed-rest all weekend, but things weren’t any better that Monday.  In fact, her liver was starting to fail and an ultrasound that day showed the baby was smaller then she should have been.  She was sent immediately to the hospital.  Red was told that the best case scenario was that her baby could stay in for 2 more weeks and be born at 30 weeks gestation.

But the base case scenario wasn’t meant to be- for the safety of the baby and my sister, the baby had to be born soon. Sweet baby Lala was born the next day at 28 weeks.  She weighed 1 lb 14 oz and, against all odds, was as healthy as a micro-preemie could be.  But even a healthy 28-weeker is a sick, fragile baby who has to fight just to keep breathing.  Lala spent over 10 week in the NICU gradually learning all the things that we take for granted- how to breath, how to suck, how to regulate her temperature and a million other things most babies learn in utero.

Lala at 2 days old- the first time Red met her

Lala is going to celebrate her 1st birthday very soon.  She’s army crawling everywhere and has the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.  Lala is a peanut- she’ll hopefully be a little over 13 lbs when she turns 1- but she’s a healthy kid.  She’s an absolute delight and to simply meet her is to love her. She is an honest to God miracle and brings more joy to our family then you can imagine.

Today is World Prematurity Day– did you know over a million babies a year die from complications related to prematurity? That number is simply staggering to me.  Today and everyday I’m so very thankful for my sweet, strong, feisty niece.  I’m also thankful for organizations like the March of Dimes that have spearheaded the fight against prematurity to give babies like Lala a chance at life.  I urge you to read about prematurity because you never know when it may hit close to your home.

Nov16

A Whole New World

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It’s no secret that I love to read.  I love being able to find new worlds, new friends and new experiences in the pages of a book.  I love being able to share my love of books with friends and family and geeking out with complete strangers over how awesome The Hunger Games is.  I don’t have a lot of extraordinary talents to pass along to my kids- I’m not really athletic, nor am I any kind of artist- but I do have my love of books.  We read to the kids at least 2 books a day and the centerpiece on our coffee table in the living room is a stack of books.  If I pass along one things to my kids, I really hope it’s this passion for reading.

So far the kids seem to love books- both kids will happily pick up a book and leaf through it while making up their own stories. But tonight we hit a whole new level when we went to Family Reading Night at Scorch’s school.  The night was designed to give the kindergarteners a chance to show off their newly acquired reading skills.  Frankly, I didn’t even know Scorch had reading skills- I knew he could read his sight words and identify other common words that we work on, but I didn’t know he could actually really read.  But he can.  And that is astoundingly, amazingly awesome.  I am so excited to see Scorch’s reading skills explode this year- I can’t wait until he’s reading to me every night!

Tonight I’m thankful for smart kids, dedicated teachers and whole new worlds opening up to my son!

Nov15

Smells Like Syrup

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The Bean is  incapable of keeping her shoes and socks on.  When we’re in the car, it doesn’t matter how far we’re going or how cold it is out, the first thing she’ll do it take off her shoes and socks. This morning’s ride to school was no exception.

“Scorch- smell my shoes! They smell like syrup!!!”

“I don’t want to smell your shoes.”

“SMELL THEM!!”

pretending to smell her shoes. “Yup-smells like syrup, Bean.”

*pause*

“Scorch, they don’t taste like syrup. Yuck!”

Today I’m thankful for curious kids and unexpected laughs at 7:45 in the morning!

Nov14

With an Air of Confidence

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Scorch  had a flag football game this weekend and we were running really late.  We had a chaotic morning that was capped off with driving by a fender bender just as the emergency vehicles were getting there which delayed us a lot.  The Hubs was already at the field and he was texting me like crazy to find out when we were getting there.   When we arrived at the sports complex it was packed- there were skating lessons starting, soccer getting out and a birthday party in full swing. The parking lot was packed and I had no idea where I was going to park.  So I texted the Hubs and let him know that I was going to drop Scorch off front and let him walk to the field to find the Hubs while Bean and I parked the car. All Scorch had to do was walk through two sets of double doors, then turn left and walk into the field area.  Really not a big deal, but he’s 5 and I worry so I was a little hesitant to let him go, but I figured he’d be fine.

Just as the doors closed behind Scorch and I pull away from the curb, I got a text from the Hubs telling me he’s not on the field, he’s in the bathroom.

I wasn’t worried about Scorch getting kidnapped or being hurt, I was more concerned with him freaking out if he couldn’t find his dad quickly. As I frantically looked for a parking spot, all I could envision was Scorch standing in the middle of the crowd sobbing because he didn’t know where we were.

Turns out I was worrying for nothing. The Hub’s Dad and Step-Mom were waiting inside the entrance so Scorch waited with them. But even if he didn’t find them, judging by what my in-law’s said, Scorch would have been fine. Evidently he knew just about everyone in the place and was really too busy greeting his friends and high-fiving people to talk to my in-laws much.

And that is what I’m thankful for today- a little boy who is confident enough to walk into a place and talk to everyone he sees. A 5 year old who can’t walk 2 feet in school without being greeted by an older kid. A kid who doesn’t know that not everyone will want to be his friend and who has no problem walking up to complete strangers and striking up a conversation.  May he always be this confident and sure of himself.

Nov10

Choices

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As noted earlier, the Bean is going through a control freak stage. To try to circumvent that, we’ve been giving her choices when ever possible.  Choices in her clothes, the stuffed animal she can take to bed, her drink, her snacks, books- you name it and we try to give her options.

But there are times when there are no choices to give- like bedtime.

Me: You need to go to bed. It’s bedtime and you’re tired.

Bean: But I don’t have a choice.

Me: No, you don’t. It’s time to sleep and that is that.

Bean: But I want a choice. What’s my other choice? I no like this one.

Me: There is no other choice- it is what is is.

Bean: But…but…but.

Round and round we went for a few minutes before the Bean finally caved.

Tonight I’m thankful for my clever girl who clearly gets what we’re trying to do and isn’t afraid to turn our logic against us to win another round.  May she always use her powers for good.

Nov9

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This morning, the stomach bug hit our house. This time, it was Beaner’s turn. Scorch was the one who had it 2 weeks ago- I really don’t understand how germs work in my house.  Unfortunately, I got a minor (I hope) case too- so this will be short and sweet.

Today I’m thankful for:

> Kids that can warn me before they get ill
> Kids that can run fast and get sick in the proper places
> Kids TV on Demand even if it does mean 2 straight hours of Dora.
> A husband who was so freaked out over the thought of our 5 year old walking himself into school (mind you, I would have walked him to the front door), that he came home from work to take Scorch in himself.
>Scorch’s teacher who was kind enough to walk him to the car after school so I didn’t have to bring myself or my germy 3 year old into school to get him.
> Toast & flat soda. Amen.

What are you feeling thankful for today?

Nov8

Follow Along & You Won’t Get Hurt

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I’ve mentioned a time or twelve that life with the Bean is anything but boring.  That child is joyful and funny and smart and animated and amazing.

But she’s also a bit of a control freak.

As one of my oldest and dearest friends pointed out when I called her in a panic earlier this week about the Bean’s recent behavior, I too can also be a control freak.  As can the Hubs- it’s his way or the highway.  Somehow Scorch managed to miss most of those genes, but whatever he’s lacking, the Bean got in spades.  Here is a conversation (I’m using that term loosely) that we had the other night at bedtime.  Beaner had seen a mom nursing earlier in the day, so she wanted to know who she knew that was also nursed by their mom.  Easy enough, right?

Bean: Mommy, I’m going to ask you a name, kay?

Me: Ok.

Beaner: Jane?

Me: Yes, her mommy nursed her when she was a baby.

Bean: Don’t talk to me!

Me: What?

Bean: You can’t talk- only I talk.  You just look at me.

Me: (WTH??) Ok, fine.

Bean: Did Jane nurse?

Me: *staring, not talking*

Bean: Did Jane nurse? Mommy- did she? Did she nurse?? Mommy- answer me!

Me: Yes

Bean: I SAID DON’T TALK TO ME!

Then her head rotated 180 degrees and she started speaking in tongues.  Or at least that’s what it felt like.

You can swap in various other scenarios, but the script is the same.  Like earlier today, it was the Bean asking for a snack, but not telling me what she wanted and then getting mad when I dare ask her and getting even more mad when I don’t ask her when she tells me not to talk.  It’s maddening and I’m scared silly over how she’s going to try to lord over us when she’s older if she’s like this at 3!  Any one else raising a dictator?

~*~*~*~

Given that it’s the month of Thanksgiving, I’m going to try to note one thing in each post this month that I’m thankful for.  Today, I’m thankful for the gorgeous weather we’re having this week.  Winter is nipping at our heels so these beautiful sunny days when it’s 68 degrees out are the best gift Mother Nature can give right now.  So glad we get one more gorgeous day before the cold hits- I’m going to run my kids ragged at the park tomorrow!

Nov3

I Fought the Law…

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“Hey Mom, do you remember when the police pulled you over here and gave you a ticket last year?”

*sigh* “Yes, Scorch- I do remember that.”

“Did you have to go to jail?”

“Nope, I didn’t go to jail, buddy.  I was pulled over by mistake* so the police officer just gave me a ticket so I could go tell a judge what happened.  The judge saw that it was a mistake, so he just let me go.”

I’ll spare you the rest of the conversation, but needless to say, Scorch and the Bean had a gazillion questions and I spent the next 15 minutes in the car getting grilled by my kids about the judicial system, traffic laws and car insurance.  Don’t you wish you were there?

The only upside to that long conversation (that I’m sure wasn’t entirely factual) was that now every time I ask the Bean to do something, she’ll ask me if she doesn’t do it, will the policemen give her a ticket?  I wish I could tell you had the strength to be straight with my kid and tell the truth.  No, the police won’t give you a ticket for hitting your brother. No, the police won’t give you a ticket if you don’t go potty. No, the police won’t give you a ticket if you don’t come here right now.

But that would be a lie.**

As far as Beaner is concerned she could be ticketed for anything at anytime. And not just by the police. We may or may not have mentioned to her the concept of a citizen’s arrest and that may have resulted in one of the most peaceful weeks we’ve had in forever. Judge me all you want, but I may have finally found something that works for this kid and I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth. She’ll catch on soon enough.

*I got pulled over well over a year ago because the policeman ran my plates at a routine seatbelt check and found I didn’t have insurance. This was 2 weeks after we bought the car I was driving and it was insured, but there was a glitch with the insurance company reporting this fact to the state.  My insurance guy came to court with me on the appointed day to explain to the judge that the error was on their site and that I was in no way at fault and that was that.

**Before you think I’m poisoning my kid against the law, please remember The Hubs is a police officer.  So while I may lie to my kid about what she can get tickets for, we also make sure to stress how awesome police officers are, how they will always help you and so on.  And if she does grow up with a complex- well, insurance covers therapy and she’ll get over it soon enough.

Nov1

Happy (belated) Halloween

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I tried to post last night, I swear. But the lure of the candy and my comfy warm couch was just too much to resist.

We had a great Halloween! No one had to wear a snow suit (always a real possibility), the kiddos got good candy (not an Almond Joy in sight!) and my little buggers remembered to actually say Trick or Treat and Thank You at all the homes we hit.

Scorch loved being a Solider although exactly what kind of solider he was was up for debate.  The Bean was the cutest Lady Bug in town even though she only kept on her wings 50% of the time.  We trick or treated with some of our oldest friends and the kids were so exciting they were shaking.


I’m calling Halloween 2011 a complete success- hope you can say the same!