Author Archives: Heather

Unknown's avatar

About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Jun2

Love Thursday: Matters of the Heart

Posted on by
Standard

We were gone for 14 hours last Saturday, spending a full day with family celebrating Baby Lala’s baptism. It was a fantastic day, but a long one and I was bound and determined to spend my Sunday at home catching up on the multitude of things I had to do.  We all got up bright and early on Sunday and the Hubs soon left to go pick up the dog from the kennel.  The kids were doing great playing, so I decided to take a quick shower while they were busy.

While I was in the shower, the Bean had managed to dump out every drawer in her room as well as our coat closest.  She told me she packing her things to go to Church.  Now, while I appreciated her initiative, I didn’t appreciate the extra work she just laid at my feet.  So when a friend called to see if we wanted to go to a nearby lake for the rest of the morning to go swimming, I jumped at the chance because clearly my kids were not in the cleaning mood.

When we got to the lake, another family was pulling in with kids right around Scorch’s age.  A while later at the water’s edge, the other mom and I started making small talk like two strangers do when their kids are playing.  In the course of the conversation, this mom told me that her child, who is 5 like Scorch, had his 6th heart attack just two weeks prior.  I had to ask her to repeat herself because I was sure I mis-heard her.  5 years don’t have heart attacks- let alone a multitude of them.  Sadly, I had heard her correctly- her child was born with a congenital heart defect and had his first attack when he was 2.

Later that night I was laying in bed telling the Hubs about the family we met and I couldn’t stop thinking of how freaking lucky my family is.  I spent a lot of time over the past month complaining about the Virus from Hell and the Bean’s demonic possession, but the fact of the matter is, my family is healthy and I love them with everything I have. I can’t imagine how this other family goes through life making the most of everything, all the while waiting for the other shoe to drop.

While I can’t promise to get less frustrated or not to yell because as much as I love my little people, they make me crazy- I can promise you that I’ll be that much more appreciative of them now. I can promise to try to find the humor in watching the Bean try to stuff a pile of clothes as big as her into a teeny-tiny backpack.  I can promise I won’t tell my kids that I’ll play with them later because I have to pick up/do laundry/put the dishes away.  I can promise to tell my kids each and every day how much I love them and how lucky I am to have them.

Jun1

Bright & Sunny

Posted on by
Standard

The winters up here are long and dreary- full of white, dingy browns and grey.  It can be beautiful in its own way, but it’s so dull to look at day in and day out.

Spring was also a little slow to start up here- full of rain, cold weather and grey skies.  Then- BAM- summer hit last week and suddenly its all sunshine and warm temps!

There is so much I love about summer- the BBQs, the corn on the cob & the watermelon, the late nights on the deck watching the sun go down and the last minute ice cream runs. But my most favorite thing is the return of color!

The blues of the pool and the sky.  The green grass.  The pink and purple sunsets.  The hot, yellow sunshine.  The orange umbrella.  The kiddos tan skin (despite, yes, twice daily application of sunscreen) and the emergence of their blond hair.  I love it all and I’m so glad to have color back in my life again!

May31

Pickin’ My Ride

Posted on by
Standard

Since the Hubs and I have been together, we have purchased a total of 4 cars and been gifted one (in a complicated family swap).   Each of the previous 4 car buying decisions have been easy.  The first two we bought while we were dating, so really the other person didn’t have much say in the matter.  I ended up with a brand new Neon right after college and he got a used Ford Thunderbird.  Neither were the prettiest of cars, but both served us really well when we moved to Maryland and were as cheap as cars could be (combined car payment was $300 a month!).

When we moved back to NY, we quickly realized that his rear-wheel drive car and my tiny tin can weren’t going to cut it during the long winters- especially given we live in an area called the Snow Belt.  So we went looking for 4-wheel drive SUVs back in 2004.  We had grand expectations until we saw the price tag that came with the really huge SUVs and eventually settled on a Jeep Cherokee.  Really, the car buying process was easy as we both knew and agreed upon what we wanted.  And we loved the car- it drove great, looked sporty and was safe.  Best of all, it was  big enough to accommodate Scorch when he came along in 2006 and the Bean when she was born in 2008.

Too bad I got into a major accident in 2009 and totaled the thing (something the Hubs still like to remind me of).  For 13 months after that, we were a one car family- driving the 2001 van we were gifted from my family.  The family roadster was a great vehicle, but it had seen better days even before we got it.  But it served us well until it died one morning in March of 2010 and the reality of having 1 car when you lived in the middle of nowhere and  had to get a kid to school and one person to work really sunk in.  Thankfully the van was revived, but we knew we had to get a new car ASAP.  Again, the decision was pretty easy- with two growing kids, we couldn’t deny the ease of having a van, so we bought another van- just a  newer model with a lot less miles.

The Hubs manhood took a severe beating that day.

Fast forward 14 months and our old van is really dying this time and we’re in the market for a new car.  The Hubs was adamant that this car not be another van, so we went looking at SUVs.  I thought we had decided on what we wanted, but I was clearly wrong given how our shopping went today.

I was stressing safety and passenger room- how having a 3rd row would really be great when we were driving around the kids and their friends.  I looked at the all the extra’s- some of these cars were loaded with remote starters and heated seats- niceties we’ve never had before.  The Hubs couldn’t have cared less. He looked at the SUVs I liked and told me they were chick cars- really not what he had in mind.  So after excusing ourselves from our sales guy, we had to walk away to actually have an argument about what exactly we were looking for.

Turns out the Hubs wanted a pick up truck.

Given how silly I thought the idea was when you take into account our lifestyle, I was damn proud of myself for agreeing to check out a few.  Thankfully after looking at a few and realizing that no, not even with a extended cab, a pick up truck doesn’t make sense we came to some sort of compromise and narrowed things down.

I think.

Our next shopping trip will tell us that for sure.  In the mean time, I’m going to be looking online lusting after all the extra’s I won’t get so my husband can feeling tough and manly while driving our two kids around.

 

May26

Love Thursday: Lots to Love

Posted on by
Standard

You’ll have to forgive me for not being able to come up with coherent post tonight.  It stormed last night, which meant I was up with Crazy, our dog, for 2 hours.  I’m tired- so let’s talk about the random things I’m loving right now:

1) The fact that So You Think You Can Dance starts back up today! That show is my guilty pleasure for summer!

2) The book Little Princes: One Man’s Promise to Bring Home the Lost Children of Nepal   I started reading this last night and can’t put it down- really well written and an amazingly compelling story.

3) This hot weather (which I will love even more when the Hubs puts in our air conditioning).

4) Shopping for a new-to-us car. I love car shopping- the research, the negotiating, the fun of figuring out what to get!  We are looking for mid-sized SUVs with a 3rd row if anyone has any suggestions!  The key- needs to be around or under $20K to stay within our budget.

5) That fact that I get to see Red, TBO & Baby Lala this weekend for Baby L’s baptism!  We’re spending all day Saturday with family, I have a pretty dress and my kids will get to have a ball with their cousins.

6) We’re finally thisclose to getting resolution on the Hub’s job situation- cannot wait for that!

7) The Hubs went back to work after being so sick today. Love that man, but it was time for him to get out of the house.

What are you loving today?

May25

Running. Again.

Posted on by
Standard

A little under a week ago, a friend asked me to run in a 5K taking place on June 4th.  She’s part of Girls On the Run– an organization I’ve heard wonderful things about, so I jumped at the opportunity to help out as a running buddy.

The problem? I haven’t run in almost a year.

I’ve talked about my love/hate relationship with running before- I love the idea of it, but lordy, I hate the reality of it.  But I committed myself to this 5K.  These girls need a running buddy and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders down. I was very honest with my friend about my skill level- I very well may not be able to run the full 5K with only 2 weeks of training, but I’d do what I could get myself ready and I’d give it my all.

Given how much I dislike running, I’m trying to set myself up for success.  For me, that means I need someone to buddy with to keep me accountable.  My dear friend Amy was kind enough to volunteer to meet me 3x a week at 5 am to run (note: the time choice was hers, not mine) so today we started.  It was 46 degrees and dark outside when we got to the running trail and frankly, I was marveling over how crazy 2 30-somethings could be. Shouldn’t we know better? But you know what, it was great! Amy ran with me for as long as I could even though she could have easily lapped me a few times over in the time it took me to run that mile.

When it was all over, I felt awesome. I feel like I’m finally trying to climb this huge mountain I never thought I could get over. I may never, ever like running and I may not be able to run the full 5K in less then two weeks- but hopefully by setting these goals and having someone hold me accountable, I’ll finally keep at it.  I want to be a good role model for my kids- I want them to two see healthy, active parents who do what they can to live a long life.  I want them to see us moving our bodies every day and to mimic that behavior. I want exercise to be the norm, not the exception in our house hold.  Hopefully today was the first step in making those wishes a reality.

May24

Falling like Dominos

Posted on by
Standard

On Saturday we belated held Scorch’s birthday party.  We had to delay it a while because of the Virus from Hell – something that Scorch was not happy about.  Have you ever tried explaining to a 5 year old that he is not having his birthday party (read: not getting presents) for weeks because of an illness?  I don’t recommend it.

But finally, finally everyone in my house was healthy and Party Day dawned hot and sunny.  Scorch had a great t-ball game earlier in the day, the kids took great naps and the guest all arrived on time.  We had a fantastic evening full of family, friends, great food, cake and, yes, presents.  By the time everyone left around 9:30, I was happily exhausted.  Just as my Mother-in-Law, the Hubs and I were heading to bed, the Hubs said, “I don’t feel good.”

Are. You. Kidding?

I quietly said a quick prayer that the Hubs simply drank or ate too much and that was that.  It had been 5 full days since anyone in my house was sick- it couldn’t possibly be the Virus from Hell, right?  Wrong.  The Hubs started getting sick at 11:30 and kept going at least once an hour for 5 hours.

Now, that is awful for the Hubs- I felt terrible for him.  But, really, I felt more sorry for me and my mother-in-law (who was staying with us for the weekend) because the Hubs is the loudest puker *ever.*  There is absolutely no sleeping in a house this small when the Hubs is getting sick unless you’re in your own room with the door closed and a sound machine on, which the kids were.  But my mother-in-law and I weren’t so lucky, so we got to experience exactly what the Hubs was going through.  He’s so loud that Crazy, our dog, was freaking out.  She thought it was thunder every time the Hubs got sick, so we had to sedate her to get her through this ordeal.

The Hubs had my pity all through out the night, but I’m sorry to report he didn’t have my patience. I found myself thinking about the cost of hotel rooms (for either him or us, I didn’t care), asking the Hubs to go down in the basement with Crazy, the cats and our tiny speck of a half bathroom that Hubs barely fits into to get sick and, finally, smothering the Hubs when he got back to bed to put us all out of our misery.  But, because I’m clearly Wife of the Year material, I didn’t do any of the above and we all got through this.

Here we are 3 days out and the Hubs is still wiped out- he hasn’t left the house since Saturday.  I’m obsessively following him around with my Clorox Wipes, wiping down everything he’s touched.  It’s been 2 weeks since the Virus from Hell hit this house and I’m still standing and I intend to keep in that way. Wish me luck.

May19

Love Thursday: The Random Edition

Posted on by
Standard

I’ve been sitting here for the past 30 minutes trying to figure out what to write about tonight.  The fact of the matter is, I’m exhausted.

The kids, thank God, are finally healthy enough for Mary to come back full time.  But the Bean- oh, the Bean- is wearing me down.  I forgot just how batshit crazy almost 3 year old;s can be.  The most difficult phase with Scorch was this age too, so I know it’ll pass- but difficult for Scorch meant a grand total of a half a dozen crazy meltdowns.  Bean averages 4 of those a day.  I love so very very much, but she’s making me crazy.  She’s fighting us over everything, screaming the house down and  hitting her brother.  The Hubs and I haven’t lost it yet with her, but she is going to bed a good 30 minutes early every night for the sake of our sanity.

So, that’s the long way of saying I don’t have it in me to come up with a gushy, funny post today.  I love my kids and I’m thankful for them, but I’m just as thankful for bed time and ice cream tonight!  But, there are a few random things I’m loving right now:

1) I got invited to a Post-Rapture Looting Party- where we’re invited to take all the good stuff left behind by those called up to Heaven.  I laughed for 5 minutes over this.

2) I am taking 3 hours of me time tomorrow to shop for Baby Lala’s Baptism! Sweet baby girl is doing wonderfully- growing fast, smiling & laughing. I can’t wait to get to hold her again in a few weeks!

3) Between my travels and the kids being sick, I’ve been able to read a lot lately:

  • I read the first two books in the Millennium Trilogy- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo & The Girl Who Played with Fire.  I liked them both, although the first one had a lot of financial crime info that I had to slog my way through. The second one was a much faster read!
  • The Scorch Trials– This is the 2nd book in a series that started with The Maze Runner.  Again, I liked this book better then the first and am looking forward to reading how this all gets tied up!
  • The Brave– I normally like this author (Nicholas Evans) very much.  But this one wasn’t as good as most of his works- the characters weren’t nearly fleshed out enough and the plot harped upon in the summary (Iraq veteran accused of horrible war crimes) was barely touched upon.
  • Past Perfect by Susan Isaacs- another author I normally love with a book that felt flat. One of my biggest annoyances in books/TV shows/movies is when the main character doesn’t tell the people around him/her what they are doing for no good reason and then get stuck in horrible situations because they didn’t speak up. That happened a lot in this book, so I spent most of my time reading this yelling at the main character in my head.
  • The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons.  I have no idea why I got this book about WWII in Russia, but I generally liked it. But lordy, it was depressing!  Not something I’ll be in a hurry to read again, but it kept my attention.
  • Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver.  This book was recommended to me by the Children’s Librarian at our local library, so I checked it out and I’m glad I did.  It’s a YA novel about a 17 year old girl who gets to re-live the last day of her life 7 times to get it right.  At first I didn’t like it- the main characters were harsh and the look at high school was pretty unflinching- but then I got sucked right in. Yeah- the kids were mean, but they were honest and the book didn’t pull any punches.

4) I was asked today to be a Running Buddy for Girls on the Run at a 5K walk/run in 2 weeks. I’m so excited about this because I’m hoping it’ll be the kick in the butt I need to start running again. Maybe this time I’ll enjoy it!

5) The sunset tonight is gorgeous (pardon the quality, best I could get with my cell phone). I’m so glad we have green trees around again.

May18

5 Years

Posted on by
Standard

Dearest Scorch-

As hard as it is for me to accept, you turned 5.  5 seems so old to me- you’re not a infant, or a toddler, or a pre-schooler- kiddo, you’re almost a kindergartener! Sometimes I look at you and I still see that chubby cheeked baby that you once were.  You may have lost your cheeks, but you still have your belly laugh that never fails to make me laugh right along with you.

As much as I may miss your sweet baby cheeks, I have to say- we are loving this 5 year old you.  You amaze us every day with how much you know- you can count to 100, you can write all your letters, you’re learning how to sound out words and write them, you know simple math! I wish we could take all the credit for your intelligence, but let’s face it- it takes a village and you have a great one around you.  Us,Mary, your school, your family- you are loved by so many people!

This year you’re going to preschool every day for a half day.  You’re in a huge class- something I wasn’t too thrilled about at the start of the year. But you know what? You’re thriving! You love going to school every day and having this many kids has been great for you as you learn to navigate all the craziness that is making, keeping and even losing friends.  It’s hard to watch you figure this out, Butters, knowing there is little we can do to help but so far you’re doing just fine.

Scorch, day in and day out, you’re a joy.  I simply can’t imagine what life was like before we had you in it.  You’re sweet and funny and gentle- but you’re also all boy.  If there is dirt, you want to roll in it. If there is a ball around, you want to hit it.  If there is grass, you want to run on it.  We couldn’t be more proud of you and I’m so excited to watch you grow!

May17

Be Careful What You Wish For

Posted on by
Standard

Two weeks ago, the Hubs and I left on 4.5 day road trip down to VA and NC to spend some time with family and friends and attend a much anticipated wedding.  I was so excited about this trip- the Hubs and I love road trips, we travel well together and we were going to see a lot of people we love.  It wasn’t a the most romantic or exotic of trips, but- hey, it was time away just the two of us and we were running with it.  The trip was fantastic and we so much fun!

The only rain cloud hanging over my head was the timing of an upcoming business trip- we arrived back home late on Sunday and I had to leave for a 3 days business trip to TX 18 hours later.  Normally I love traveling for business. I work from home, so I always enjoy seeing my coworkers, eating out and sleeping uninterrupted on the company’s dime. But this time because both trips were back to back, I was less then thrilled.  This was my longest time away from my kids and I knew I was going to miss them terribly and was feeling all sorts of guilty wishing I could spend more time with them. But I sucked it up, enjoyed my time in TX and very happily arrived the airport 2 hours early for my flight home. But it wasn’t meant to be.

The flight was delayed by more then 4 hours due to bad weather in Dallas. The delay caused me to miss my connecting flight in Newark, NJ.  After some scrambling when I was in TX, I found a hotel in Newark to stay at until I could catch the next flight home in the morning.  I think the hotel, a Hilton, was nice- but considering I only spent 4.5 hours in it (4.3 of which were spent sleeping), I can’t be entirely sure.  However, motherhood and all it’s lack of sleep prepared me well and I arrived back at the airport at 6 am smelling as fresh as I could be in the same clothes I’d been wearing for 24 hours (checked luggage- with all my clothes- couldn’t leave the airport for security reasons).

After I checked into my flight, I called home.  The Hubs answered with a “If you’re calling to tell me your flight is delayed I’m going to lose it.”  Hmmm…not the greeting I expected.  Turns out the Bean was up the whole night before throwing up every hour which meant no sleep for the Hubs and the Bean.  Quite honestly, at that point, my delay seemed like God sparing me from what I hated most, so I was almost cheerful as I waited for my 8 am flight. I got myself a nice breakfast, I enjoyed my book and I savored the last hour of me-time I had before descending back into the House of Vomit.

And thank God I did.  Since I got home last Thursday, I haven’t left the house for longer then 2 hours at a time and the time I have been home I’ve had a child draped over me.  The Bean was sick Wednesday night through Saturday night.  She finally started to perk up on Sunday just in time for Scorch to catch the bug and spend all Sunday night into Monday throwing up.  People- I was the one who got up with him the first time he woke  up feeling poorly.  I didn’t realize what was coming, he didn’t realize what was coming and it was ugly.  I’m still patting myself on the back for not running out of this house in horror.  And it didn’t stop for 17 hours.  That poor kid was leveled and the Hubs and I were walking Zombies.

Thankfully we have gotten past the puking part (please God, let it be over) and we’re just into the part of the virus where Scorch has a high fever and can fall asleep anywhere. Like in the bath, like he did today.  The Bean is completely back to normal and making us all freaking crazy. I called Mary, our nanny, this morning and begged her to take the Bean somewhere- anywhere- today for a few hours before I completely lost my mind.  Beaner didn’t sleep well for whatever reason last night, which turned her in to raging psychopath all day long.  She’d rain down the wrath of avenging angels  on your head if you didn’t give her the yogurt covered pretzels exactly how she asked for him.  And if you didn’t sit on the couch next to her just right? May heaven help you, because she had no pity for your stupidity and lack of mind reading abilities.

So, I wished for more time with my kids and I got it.  It’s just not exactly how I pictured it and frankly all of us are too tired, too ill or too sick of each other to enjoy much of it.

May9

Word Games

Posted on by
Standard

I may have mentioned a time or hundred that Scorch is a very verbal kid.  He learned how to talk early and he basically hasn’t stopped since. Frankly, I think that’s awesome 99.9% of the time- he’s got a great vocabulary and you never have to wonder what he’s thinking. Scorch also likes to play word games- rhyming words, asking what words mean the same thing as another word and so on.  Again- awesome!  If our matching eyes weren’t enough, his inability to stay quiet would be proof enough that he’s my son.

But…what do I do about words he “makes” up that are actually bad words?  For example, Scorch had a bug bite the other day and was telling me it was itchy. The he made up a song about his itchy-bitchy bug bite.  We were at home and it was just the 4 of us so I didn’t mention that bitchy was a bad word (although I did snicker to myself all night).  Then today we were listening to “Bust a Move” in the car (don’t judge me) and Scorch changed it to busty.  And instead of saying “Mom, you’re so busted” he started saying, “Mom, you’re so busty.”   Again, he doesn’t have a clue!

However, I’m starting to wonder if I’m doing him a disservice by not telling him about words he shouldn’t say.  I don’t want him to say something that he’s said at home in school and get into trouble because I didn’t explain that words like bitchy aren’t nice to say and that calling a woman busty may be inappropriate.

So help me, wise internet- when did you start explaining the concept of really bad words to your kids?