Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Apr11

Wishing & Hoping

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This weekend the Hubs had to work most of Saturday and he had a honey-do list a mile long on Sunday, so I decided to take the kids and head to my mother-in-law’s house for the weekend.  We’ve been wanting to visit for a while now and us getting out of town made the Hubs feel less guilty about working, so off we went.

The weekend wasn’t without it’s share of glitches, like the two new tires I had to purchase on our way out of town Friday night when I ran over something and sliced my tire right up, but we had a great time never the less!  We played hard at the Please Touch Museum in Philly on Saturday, then continued to play hard at my mother-in-law’s Saturday night and Sunday morning thanks to all the sports equipment she keeps stocked at her house!  Prior to the trip, Scorch didn’t sleep for 2 nights because he was so excited about seeing his Mimi & Grandpa.  He slept great while we were gone, but today the lack of sleep caught up with him.

Mother Nature heard my pleas and Spring seems to finally have arrived so we capitalized on it and hit the park the minute I got out of work. All was well until Scorch saw a group of older kids (10 and older) playing a fun kickball/dodge ball game and wanted to join in the fun. The kids were nice enough, but they basically told him that he couldn’t play- he was too little.  As I was trying to steer him away from the older kids, it started to rain.  The kids telling him no, plus my insistence that was time to go before the heavens really opened up was just too much for Scorch and he started sobbing. I understood his disappointment and sympathized with him a bit, but he was just primed and ready for a full meltdown, so that is what he did.

> First it was over the kids not letting him play and it was so NOT FAIR that he wasn’t older. Why didn’t I have him sooner?

> Then it was NOT FAIR that it was raining and why did it always rain?!

> It was NOT FAIR that I wouldn’t let him pet a strange dog at the park.

> It was really NOT FAIR that I wouldn’t let him have a puppy. Why wouldn’t I let him have a puppy? He really wants a pupppppppppppy!

All I could think about is a puppy?? Seriously- you want a puppy, kid?!  The dog we do have is home drugged to the gills because we have thunderstorms in the forecast and knowing my luck, I’ll be up with her all night to ensure she doesn’t eat her way through our door to get out and you want a PUPPY!?  I would honestly rather give myself a root canal at home then get another dog at this point.

Next time when he melts down, he might as well ask for a unicorn that vomits out rainbows because that is as likely to happen as a new puppy.

 

Apr7

Love Thursday: The Littlest Ones

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Way back when I started to read blogs, I only consistently read a few.  One of them was The Spohrs are Multiplying– a blog about a family in CA with an adorable sprite of a daughter, Maddie.  Maddie was born at 28 weeks and had an extraordinarily hard first few months of life.  Despite the odds, little Maddie survived her rough start and thrived.  I loved reading about her adventures with her parents, Heather & Mike, and looking at the adorable pictures her mom posted of her.  Maddie’s bright eyes and endless eyelashes grabbed you the minute you saw her- how could you not be captivated?

2 year ago today, Maddie died suddenly.  She got sick- a severe respiratory infection that her lungs, scarred due to her permaturity, couldn’t handle. Maddie was just shy of 18 months old.  I had never cried over the death of a stranger before, but I cried over this little girl and her parents.

But as touched as I was, I never really understood prematurity and all its causes and implications until my sweet niece, Lala, was born.  Because prematurity was something that happened to other people. Not healthy 29 year olds who took great care of themselves while pregnant.   It couldn’t happen to women with top-notch medical care.  It couldn’t happen to my family. Right?

Wrong.  It can and it did.  My whole family was shocked by how quickly my sister’s healthy pregnancy took a turn for the worse.  And then how quickly it turned from bad to an emergency where Lala had to come out now not only for her sake, but for my sister’s as well.   I say a prayer of thanks to God every single day that Lala is with us and doing as amazingly well as she is.

While God gets all the credit, the March of Dimes get some too.   The March of Dimes is an amazing organization that not only gives support to parents with premature babies, they also have pioneered medical advances that have helped kids like Lala (there are a half a million premature babies born a year) survive against amazing odds.  This spring the March of Dimes is putting on March for Babies– walks all across the United States to raise money for their efforts.  I urge you to walk this year- in Maddie’s memory and in celebration of our sweet Lala.

Apr6

Finding the Happy

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My life is normally a little crazier then most.  The Hubs has a job that is anything but 9-5 and on top of that we own a small business that he works at at least 3 days a week. I work full time and we have two kiddos, 2 cats and a dog running around our house.  Currently we have some huge life altering changes coming up- in June my life is either going to be uprooted and we’re going to move 350 miles away OR the Hubs will get a new job and we get to stay put where we are.  The direction my life goes is out of my hands at this point and I have to try to plan for both.  So I’m simultaneously looking for a new house, new schools and trying to figure out how to sell our house all the while re-enrolling the kiddos in Scorch’s current school, planning vacations that won’t happen if we move and going on with my day-to-day life.

Yes, my head hurts on a daily basis.  I’ve been more stressed then I ever have been in my life. For the first time ever, I’m having trouble sleeping at night because I can’t turn my brain off.  Any discussion of the future is prefaced with a “If XX happens, we’ll…” or ended with “…if we move/don’t move.”  It’s easy- so very easy- to get bogged down in the details and the stress and the worry.

But worrying and stressing and feeling anxious aren’t natural states for me.  I normally err on the side of being too Pollyanna-ish-  if that cloud has a silver lining, then I’m bound and determined to find it because my life is good and amazing and one I’m so thankful to be living.   So in the the spirit of finding my happy, here is what’s bringing a smile to my face today:

> Having good friends over for dinner at the spur of the moment.  The meal was simple, but delicious, and the company couldn’t have been any better!

> Putting my kids to bed early because they are so tired from all the fun things they’ve been doing these past few days- gymnastics, PE class, swim lessons, outside recess, playing with friends, Fire House visits and too much time playing Wii Baseball as a family.

> Spending part of my morning editing pictures of my sweet niece, Lala, and then trying to find the perfect invitation for her Baptism and party with my sister, Red.  I cannot wait for the day we’re all together to celebrate her amazing life!

> Anticipating the return of True Blood by reading the Inside True Blood blog. June can’t come fast enough for a lot of reasons!

> Planning a small weekend trip with my kiddos and another slightly longer one just with my Husband.

> Getting told by my shrink that I am the most interesting of all his clients this week (I do believe I should get a certificate for that)!

> Listening to the baby monitor and hearing Bean say goodnight to all her bears and give them all kisses.

> Having Scorch yell for me after I put him to bed because he wanted one more hug.

> Wearing bright red shoes.

> Angry Birds Rio– taking my frustrations out on those damn monkey’s is very therapeutic!

> Knowing that in a year or two from now, all the craziness going on right now will be a distant memory- a small bump in the road.

 

Apr5

A Letter to Mother Nature

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Dear Mother Nature-

I know you’re fickle. You know you’re fickle. But my kids? They don’t know how fickle you are.  You see, they are only 4 and 2.  This winter has been a long, long one here.  It started snowing on December 1 and it really didn’t let up until last week.  Now, snow December through February, I can deal with.  I can even handle the occasional snow storm in March- but snow every stinking day plus cold temps without a break means my kids are going stir crazy!  It has been nice enough for them to play outside doing something other then sleigh riding twice so far this year. That’s it.

One of those times was this past weekend. Sunday was a lovely, lovely day!  Sunshine galore with temperatures in the 50’s. The grass may have been dead and brown, but we didn’t care- we were outside.

 

The kiddos were giddy.  We pulled out their bikes only to find the Scorch outgrew his this winter. Bean? She still can’t reach the pedals of her big wheel.  Scorch and the Hubs got out all their lacrosse gear- net, balls and 5 sticks.  We kicked around the soccer ball- chasing it throughout the yard getting mud all over ourselves.

 

Then yesterday happened.  Yesterday was a horrible, horrible tease with temperatures in the 60’s- but it was accompanied by driving rain. Not the fun rain that you want to go puddle jumping in- this was the soaked to your skin after running from your car to your house type of rain.  And today? Well, today Mother Nature I think you crushed my kids hearts.

It snowed all day long.

So, Mother Nature- I’m putting you on notice.  Our summer and fall better be the best we’ve seen in years- I’m talking temps in the 80’s every single day with not a drop of rain except for at night.  You owe us.

Love,

Heather

 

Apr4

The 4 Legged Freaks

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I really thought yesterday that the 4 legged members of my family were trying to kill me- or at least cause me to lose my ever loving mind.

We have 2 cats- The Mooch & Boo- and a dog, Crazy.   The kitties are almost 10 year old and the pup is 9.  We’ve had the cats since they were itty bitty and 2 more spoiled beasts you’ll never meet.   They are the friendliest, sweetest buggers around- just about perfect in every way.  Except for the shedding and the puking.

Then there is Crazy.  Now, don’t get me wrong, we love Crazy but she has earned her nickname.  We got her a little later in her life- she was almost 9 months old and a very, very rambunctious, energetic, ill mannered lab.  About 3 years after we got her, Crazy developed an intense fear of thunder storms seemingly over night.  That fear grew until 3 summers ago our vet finally suggested we put her down because her fear was so intense that she literally lost her mind during storms and would do anything- hurt herself, try to chew thru doors, hurl herself out doors- to get away from the storms.  As a last ditch effort, we took Crazy to a nationally known vet school and had her put on 2 different anxiety meds (this was after years of behavior modification & desensitizing her) that have made her fears a bit more manageable.

So, yesterday.

It’s 8 in the morning and I’m cuddling with the kiddos on the couch watching TV.  Across the room I hear the unmistakable sound of Boo (because it’s always Boo) starting to get sick.  I turn around to make sure she’s at least on the wood floors (easier for clean up, you know) and I see her standing right over my shoes. My favorite shoes. The shoes I’d wear all day every day if this freaking fraking winter would ever go away.   I jump up from the couch and try to make a mad dash over to shove the cat so she pukes somewhere- anywhere- else.  But I’m too slow.  Into my shoes, she’s pukes.

Wonderful.

Later that day, I get home after grocery shopping.  I set one of the 8 bags I’m carry down on the landing so the Hubs can carry them to the kitchen when I notices liquid (a lot of it) on some of our shoes and filling up our boot tray in our entrance way.  It’s a crystal clear sunny day out, so I know darn well that liquid didn’t come from our shoes.  I yell for the Hubs- telling him that the dog had for some very odd reason, peed.  Right into his brand new sneakers, which then overflowed into the boot tray.  The Hubs and I were stumped as to why Crazy (who for all her faults, doesn’t pee inside) would have done that.  The best he could figure out was that there were a bunch of motorcycles roaring up and down our road and that must have scared the piss, literally, out of Crazy.

Again, wonderful. Especially when you consider that our neighbor up the road basically runs his own Harley club and on any given nice day from April until October, anywhere from 10 – 20 cycles zoom up our road.

About an hour after the peeing incident (which the Hubs, bless him, dealt with), I heard the Bean waking from her nap.  I went into her room and we played for about 10 minutes before she wanted to go downstairs to play with Scorch.  Somewhere in that 10 minutes Boo puked on our top stair- something I didn’t hear because I was too busy playing with my daughter.

Guess who stepped into that nice, warm pile of vomit in her bare feet?  Guess who came this close to teaching her 2 year old a very, very bad swear word?  Guess who kept gagging for the next hour remember what exactly that felt like between her toes?

Guess who which animals are lucky to still have a home after all that?

Mar31

Love Thursday: 9 to 5

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During October of my senior year of college, the Hubs got a job in Washington, DC, about 5 hours from home.  I busted my butt and did everything in my power to graduate a semester early so I could move down there 3 months later in January.  I was lucky- I immediately lined up a few interviews and had accepted a job I thought would be perfect before I moved.

Instead, it was a nightmare.

The job was completely different then the one I was originally hired to do.  It went from being 5% travel to being 100% travel- I spent a total of 9 weeks gone from home with only one weekend back in DC with the Hubs in our new home.  The powers that be noticed how miserable I was and transferred me back to the main office in DC.  That was even worse- I became a very rich bitter woman’s secretary and was berated and belittled on a daily basis. The rest of the staff wasn’t any better and I was clearly the office joke.  Things were so bad that I would spend most of my Sunday’s crying because I had to go back to work the next day.

Needless to say, I applied to any job I possibly could to get me out of that hellhole.  I must have sent out close to 75 resumes when my current Big Company called me for an interview.  After 7 of the longest months of my life, I started a new job.

That was 11 years ago and I can honestly say that 90% of the time, I enjoy my job and that is due in large part to the people I work with.  People who are whip smart and funny and engaging and dedicated.  People who have made the best out of this crappy economy and all the impacts it’s had on our working environment. People who keep doing the best job they can despite shrinking resources, budgets and headcount.  People who I’m happy to call my friends after working together for so long.

Today, some of those people stopped working for Big Company and I couldn’t be more sorry to see them go.  Not only is their absence a blow to the company, it’s going to make my time at work so much less fun.  Kris, Michele & Rob- it’s been a privilege and a pleasure spending the last 5+ years working with each of you! Best wishes!

Mar30

Walter

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I found out I was pregnant with Scorch in September, so come Christmas time I was looking for an appropriate  gift for the Hubs.  Given our history of pregnancy loss I didn’t want to get him anything huge.  Nothing that said “Daddy” on it, no baby clothes (I didn’t let any of those into the house until I hit 24 weeks)- just something little that marked that Christmas as special in a small way.

Too bad that’s harder then it seems.

A few weeks before Christmas I was in NYC with my mom.  We were browsing in some shops waiting for our bus to take us back home when I found the perfect gift.  It was a book- Walter the Farting Dog. You see, the Hubs isn’t exactly the most sophisticated man when it comes to what tickles his funny bone.  And farts always, always make him laugh.  Heck, that book, about a dog who saved his family’s valuable by farting on burglars breaking in to his home, made me laugh out loud in the store.  So home the book went with me as ideal gift for the Hubs for the holidays.

I thought the book was a novelty, but it turns out that the books are award winners!  There are 5 books in the series and we are the proud owners of 3 of them.  While they are crude (even when we substitute the word “toot” for “fart”), the kids love them.  And the Hubs can’t get through reading any one of the books we own without stopping because he’s laughing so hard, which makes the kiddos laugh harder which makes my night just about perfect.

Mar29

Driving me Crazy

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Last night as I was putting the Bean to bed, she started her night time stalling routine.  After the umpteenth time asking for food/potty/tissue/not this pacifier, that pacifier/water, I finally chuckled a little under my breath.  It was either that or cry as I still had to get Scorch ready for bed and I was ready to drop myself.  Beaner asked why I just chuckled and I told her she was driving me crazy.

“I not driving you crazy, I making you laugh!”

Seriously- that child is so lucky the times she makes me laugh still way out weigh the times she drives me to drink.

 

Mar28

Oh Boy, Oh Boy!

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Scorch turns 5 in a few months.  The first four years of his life seemed to melt together- the slide from infant to toddler to little boy was very gradual to me.  So this sudden change to all boy has completely caught me by surprise!

It seems like overnight Scorch”s gone from baby fat to long, slender limbs and knobby knees.  There are times I look at him and have to do a double take because I can’t believe that kid is mine!  For over 2 years, Scorch was fixated on dinosaurs.  Now- BAM- we’re on to Superheros!  I just learned how to pronounce Parasaurolophus and now he wants me to debate the merits of The Torch vs. Wolverine? I don’t even know who the Torch is!

Scorch has always had a great vocabulary and is very talkative, but now we can talk about so much more. He understands thing- good & bad- that he never could process before.  And while potty talk is still all the rage, he’s getting funnier (in his opinion) about it.  Like today he asked me to spell the word “up,” so me, being the dummy, did.  The kid laughed for a good five minutes after I said “You Pee” to him.

Every year I think to myself that this- this year- is the best.  I have a feeling I’ll be saying the same thing about 5 soon!

Mar25

Winning!

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I just got thrown up on by my daughter (poor Bean!).  I didn’t drop her and/or throw her across the room. Nor did I freak out, yell, or launch myself immediately into a scalding hot shower.  I reacted calmly with lots of reassuring back rubs and loving words even though I was gagging on the inside and resisting the unbelievably strong urge to strip down to get the soiled clothes of me.

Who’s Mother of the Year? Oh yeah- ME!