Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Jan11

One Small Step

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We hit a minor milestone in our house today. Two of them actually!

First, the Bean started gymnastics today! This is the first thing she’s done that’s just hers- the first activity where she hasn’t been simply tagging after Scorch.  There aren’t many structured activities out there for 2 year olds in our little town so when I heard about a gymnastics class that basically fit into our schedule, I was signed her right up. She seemed to have loved the first class and it’s so much fun for me to see her explore and make new friends!

Secondly, because of the timing of Beaner’s class today, Scorch has to stay for lunch at school for the first time ever. He goes to preschool 5 half days a week and has been adamant that he does not want to stay for lunch- no way, no how. We have an amazing nanny that typically picks up him before lunch so he can eat at home with his sister and he likes that.  Any previous mentions of staying for lunch has ended up with him in tears, so I was a little nervous about this.  Yesterday I went out and got him a very cool Spiderman lunch bag and the Hubs and I talked up staying for lunch for a good week- how much fun it is! How he gets to talk to his friends! The chocolate milk  he can buy!

And you know what? He was a rock star today. Not a tear or a worry- off he went and he a blast.

I should be happy- and I am for the most part. I’m thrilled with Scorch’s bravery and independence. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little sad. Each time Scorch becomes more independent he’s that much closer to not needing us quite as much. To wanting to spend times with friends instead of parents. My baby is growing up- one small step at a time.

 

Jan10

The Simple Things

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I’ve shared a time or two how I’m basically the Un-Martha Stewart.  So today when I went out and got matching bedding (including quilt, shams & a bedskirt) for the Hubs & I’s room- that was a Big Deal. We haven’t had matching bedding in about 3 years due to a certain 4 year old who shall remain nameless.

On normal days, I get out of work at 5, cook dinner, we eat at 6 and we start bedtimes around 7. But today the Hubs had to go back to work, so we ate at 5 which left the kids and I a long stretch of time to fill before bed.  The kids are still young enough that they can be tricked into thinking that doing chores is fun, so I suggested we make up my bed with the new bedding.

You would have thought I had shown them a magical toy that pooped out rainbows and unicorns- they were that excited!

We rolled around on the new bedding, wrestling and tickling and flying up on my feet for over an hour!  The kids did relay races from the kitchen to my bedroom as I made up the bed, we covered each other up with the new quilt, we bopped each other with pillows and they dived bombed me trying to knock me over. At one point, the Bean jumped on me and her mouth hit my head. I asked her if she was OK and she said she was fine and kept playing. It wasn’t until she stopped for a second that we saw the blood coming out of her mouth.  Trooper that she is, she’s says “I having too much fun to stop- keep going!”  And we most likely would have had not Scorch freaked out over the sight of blood and insisted that we clean his sister up before we started playing again. I don’t think he’s going to grow up to be a doctor.

Who knew new bedding could be so much fun? Here’s hoping a new set a dish towels tomorrow is just as amusing!

************

Baby Lala had a quick head scan today and the brain bleeds are the same size as they were last week. That’s really good news and we’re hoping that the next scan shows them going away! 🙂

Jan9

The Fixer

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I’m a fixer.

It’s in my nature- I can’t help it.  You have a problem? I’ll have advice for you- whether you want it or not.  If I don’t know an answer, I’ll Google the hell out of your problem and I’ll come up with something. I have to remind myself that sometimes people just want to vent- they don’t want help.  I’m this way with everyone- strangers in the grocery store, friends & family.

Especially family.

Red and The Bearded One got some news about Baby Lala this week that they were hoping not to hear. She has three grade 1 or grade 2 brain bleeds. Brain bleeds (or IVH) are very common in preemies and range in severity from grade 1 (minor) to grade 4 (very severe).  Lala’s brain bleeds could (please, God) amount to a whole lot of nothing- just another note on a medical chart bigger then she is. Or it could lead to other issues that we won’t even entertain yet. We just don’t know- nor will we know until Lala gets older.

I can’t fix this. I can’t make this better for Red, TBO or most importantly, my sweet 2.5 lb niece.  All we can do is roll with this and see where the journey takes us. Baby Lala is loved like mad already- no new tests or discoveries will change that.

That said, I’m going to Google “crystal balls” just in case there is one out there that actually does tell the future!

Jan6

Love Thursday: Favorites

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Scorch has started to play the copying game- you know, the one where he repeats back everything I say. When it starts to get annoying, I purposely say things to make him laugh – things that may or may not involve potty words not typically allowed in our house. Or I say things that I know he won’t want to repeat- like “Mommy thinks Bean is the best kiddo in the whole wide world.”

This morning when I was teasing him about how Beaner is the greatest and Scorch has stinky toes, he said to me “Mommy I know you’re just joking because I’m your favorite, right?”

I gave him the pat parental answer of how they were both my favorite and how I love them both the same and all was right in the world again. But it got me thinking- do I have a favorite kid? I think I do.

Scorch is my favorite kid because he’s typically the calm in the eye of Hurrican Bean. He’s my favorite because he corrects me when I pronounce a dinosaur’s name wrong. He’s my favorite when he’s fresh out of the bath and all squirmy and giggly when we’re putting on his eczema cream. He’s my favorite at night when we’re curled up in his bed reading a funny book. He’s my favorite when he goes up to other kids at the playground- kids he doesn’t know- to see if they want to play without a second thought. He’s my favorite when he comes up just asking for a random hug during the middle of the day. He’s my favorite because he’s my first born- the first baby I held and bathed and nursed and rocked to sleep. He’s my favorite because no matter how old he gets, I can still see that baby underneath.

But Beaner’s also my favorite. She’s my favorite because of her munchable cheeks that I frequently kiss. She’s my favorite for her sassy “I do it myself” personality. She’s my favorite because she insists she does not need your help until she tries things a few times herself and then comes right up and asks  to”help please!”  She’s my favorite because she always remembers her manners and always reminds Scorch of his.  She’s my favorite because she sleeps through the night.  She’s my favorite because she’s still laughing a day later about how the dog at playgroup tooted so loudly it scared her.  She’s my favorite because she’s my baby and she still fits so perfectly in my lap when we read a night.

Yup, clearly they are my favorite!

Jan5

Dragon Lady

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I consider myself a pretty even keel person. Generally happy and easy going, willing to roll with what ever life throws at me.  I try to keep my home a happy one even if that means reminding myself over and over that my kids are still little and to cut them some slack.  And most of the time, that works.

Except between 5 and 6 am.  During those hours, I’m less mommy and more Dragon Lady.

The Bean sleeps through the night unless she’s sick- 12 to 13 beautiful, restful hours of sleep.  Scorch? Not so much. He’s up at least once, sometimes twice, a night.  He needs a drink or to use the bathroom or just to tell me about a dream/nightmare he’s had.  Most of the time I do fine with this- help him to the bathroom, get him the drink and smile and nod.  Then he goes right back to bed and all is well with the world.

But if he gets up after 5 am for any of those reasons there is a damn good chance he won’t go back to bed. Instead he’ll lay in bed yelling for me every 10 minutes or so asking if it’s time to get up. Never mind that he can tell time, never mind that he knows very well he’s not allowed out of bed until at least 6 am.  And it makes me crazy.

So crazy, in fact, that I turn into a hissing, raging mess.

Go to bed!

Close your eyes right now!

If you yell for me one time, I will take away every one of your dinosaurs for a week!

You, sir, will be NAPPING today because you are up way too early!

You may watch TV, but if you come upstairs before Special Agent Oso is over I will NOT BE HAPPY.

Yes, I’m very proud of that last one. Threatening my kid to watch TV or else so I can get an extra 30 to 60 minutes of sleep.  See, that is why I turn into such a lunatic.  When it’s the middle of the night, I know I can go back to bed and get a good chuck of sleep. But at 5 am I know I’ll be lucky to get another full 60 minutes of sleep- 60 precious minutes that are interrupted too many times to count as sleep at all.

I keep reminding myself that the time will come soon enough when I have to drag Scorch out of bed at 11 am on the weekends, but that is cold comfort in the early morning dark. *yawn*

Jan4

Reentry

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We are now two days back into real life after 12 days off.  12 days where we could sleep in as late as we wanted, where we didn’t have to rush anywhere in the morning, where naps could happen at whatever time they needed to to suit the Bean.

They were a great 12 days.

Day 1 of real life went smoother then I hoped for. Scorch was excited to get back to school and the Bean wasn’t any more difficult then normal.  Last night was super low-key and things rolled along well. This morning was down right pleasant! Smiling kids, enough time in our schedule, clear roads- the Gods were smiling on us.

Then came tonight.

The earlier wake ups and the stricter schedule caught up with both kids and there were meltdowns galore. The best was Beaners absolute freakout out over what piece of bread she wanted with her pasta. No, not that one. Nope, not that one either. Sorry, try again. And so on until we got to the last piece in the loaf and that was the one she wanted. Until it wasn’t and she threw it on the ground.

Then there was Scorch’s uber meltdown because I wouldn’t let him watch an Ironman cartoon. I have never, ever let him watch an Ironman cartoon- why 1) does he think I would let him tonight and 2) is it such a stinking big deal when he’s never seen it before? Obviously he can’t love it nearly as much as he professes to given that he has absolutely no idea what Ironman is about. He just knows the kids in his class like it so it must be cool.

Needless to say, everyone went to bed early tonight. But Beaner didn’t go down without a fight. Instead of singing our typically songs before bed (You are my Sunshine & Twinkle, Twinkle) she insisted I sing a song called “Pee-pee Poopy.”  Where in the world did that come from?? I haven’t a clue, but she was royally pissed off that I wouldn’t oblige her and made sure I, and the whole neighborhood, knew it.

Thankfully everyone is asleep now and I have 10 hours and 50 minutes until the fun starts all over again.

Jan3

Happy 2011!

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Dear Kiddos-

Happy New Year! Yes, I realize it’s 3 days into the new year and I’m late.  As you get older, this will not surprise you at all.

2010 was a good year for us! Our extended family weathered some health scares, but everyone is still here in 2011. Our immediate family had 3 fun bouts with a stomach bug (I blame you, Scorch, and your germy classmates for that) but that was the worst of it.

There were a lot of first this year. Scorch going to school 5 days a week. Our amazing trip to the OBX. Renting a camper for our trip to Lake Ontario. Scorch’s first trip the ER. Bean’s first conversations. T-ball. Your first new baby cousin- Beaner isn’t the youngest any more!  Your first Yankee’s game and show at Madison Square Garden. Looking back on it, we had a lot of fun in 2010!

Moving forward, I have a lot of high hopes for 2011.  There will most likely be a lot of changes this year. One way or another, The Hubs is getting a new job.  One of the job possibilities- the one we’re praying for- will keep us here. The other will love us 350 miles away.  Either way, I’m ready to be out of this limbo.  A move would be really, really hard on all of us- but I have a feeling it would turn out just fine.

You’ll turn 5 this year, Scorch. Do you know what that means? The whole wide world of sports- everything you’ve wanted to play- is now open up to you.  Football, lacrosse, basketball, martial arts and golf.  You have interest in them all, so I have no idea how we’re going to narrow this down.  That’s a good problem to have!  In the fall, you’ll also start kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN!!!! You may be ready for that, but I promise you I won’t be.  I look at you now and I see a boy- not a baby, not even a toddler. A tall, skinny boy with more imagination in one pinkie then I have in my whole body.

Beaner- you’ll turn 3 this year!  You’ll also start school full time in the fall- a wonderful Pre-K program that we eased Scorch into bit by bit.  But you, sweetpea, you don’t need to be eased into anything. You’ll be jumping in with both feet come September and I have a feeling you’ll love every stinking minute of it.  You’re also going to start gymnastics as we try to figure out what you like to do. Right now it’s simply whatever Scorch does sports-wise, but I have a feeling that will change!

As for me, well- come September I’ll have an empty house for the first time since Scorch was born. Your father and I may have to start having serious discussions on getting you guys a sibling just to make me feel better.

There will be lots of changes this year- some little, some seismic. But all of them- all of them– will be made in the hopes of making your life better.  We love you two so much and would give you the moon if we could. For now though you’ll have to settle for a more stable job for your Dad, maybe a new house and the one thing that will never change no matter what the date- love, and lots of it.

Happy new years, kiddos! Can’t wait to see what’s coming!

Love,

Mommy

Dec30

In the Blink of an Eye

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I’ve been off from work for a full week now. Which is awesome- but, like most good things, it has gone by too fast. I got teary eyed in the car yesterday looking at the neighborhood Christmas lights with the kids knowing that they’ll be taken down soon. A sap? Why yes, I am!

I have no idea how to sum up such a fantastic Christmas! We celebrated Christmas 5 times this year with various family members from near and far. Some were fancy with big turkey dinners and others were more low key with pizza and wings. All of them were a lot of fun from start to finish. The kiddos were rock stars all through the holidays- a minor miracle when you consider the major meltdown both kids had on the 23rd because it wasn’t Christmas yet! Santa was very very good to us all in so many ways.

Here are a few random observations from the past week:

1) Beaner can eat her body weight in dinner rolls. Which is a good thing since it was the only thing she ate at 3 out of our 5 Christmas celebrations.

2) I shouldn’t have spent all the time stressing to ensure both kids had the same amount of gifts. Scorch opened all of his in 5 minutes and Bean got half way through and stopped because she wanted to play with what she had and couldn’t be bothered to keep going.

3) The gifts that I thought were going to be the biggest hits this year (dinosaur habitat for Scorch/Tinkbell doll for Bean) weren’t. Instead Scorch loves his $5 magnifying glass more then anything and Bean won’t take her new backpack off.

4) Getting a recording of the Story of Christmas read to the kids from their great-grandparents (one of whom is in poor health) made me cry.

5) Christmas without my sister and TBO is not right. I’ve only ever spent one other Christmas not with Red in my life, so it’s odd not having them around. Thankfully Baby L is still doing great and next Christmas with all 3 of them will be awesome!

6) Instead of starting the business we did 4 years ago, the Hubs & I should have opened a bounce house place. Those places make a killing (in large part to my kids).

7) I’m not a fan of Playdough. The Bean will play for hours every day- but the fun to work ratio (digging it out of carpets & her mouth) just isn’t worth it in my book.

8) I’m really, really, really going to miss hearing the Bean yell “Christmas- I yike Christmas!” each time she sees a tree or lights or a Santa.

360 more days and counting until we can do it all over again!

 

Dec22

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

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The Good

The Hubs is feeling better and no one else has gotten sick yet.  I’m not declaring us disease free yet because, as my dear friend Karin (who is a nurse) informed me earlier, we’re not out of the woods yet. I should have coughed on her for being so darn practical about the matter.

The Bad

We took the kids to the store today so they could buy presents for each other. I took Beaner with me, The Hubs had Scorch.  2 minutes into our trip, the Bean (who was sitting in the shopping cart) took her boots and socks off.  Wonderful, I am that white-trash mom who lets her kids go barefoot in the store during winter. Awesome.  Then on the way out, Scorch threw an almighty fit because we didn’t get him anything on this trip other then a present he couldn’t even open yet.  The injustice was just too much for my 4 year old and he made sure the whole store knew it!

The Ugly
I have yet to start my wrapping.  I don’t like to wrap and quite frankly, I stink at it.  I would say it looks like a blind 4 year old wrapped my gifts, but that would be an insult to blind 4 year olds.  Let’s hope our friends & family open their presents so quickly they don’t notice, k?