Category Archives: family

Dec22

Holiday Cheer from the Sick House

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Today I got the dreaded call. As soon as I saw the school’s name pop up on the caller ID, I knew that one my kids were either hurt or sick. Honestly, I was hoping for hurt this close to the holidays.  But nope, it’s a sick kid who puked in the cafeteria.   Poor Bean.

I’ve documented a time or two my fear and loathing for all things vomit, but I thought I had done a good job keeping my anxiety to myself.  Not so much.  When leaving school, Scorch refused to walk within a 5 feet of the Bean and he flat out refused to get in the car  on the same side as her because sick people “creep” him out and he didn’t want to get puked on.  I think it’s safe to say that I may have scarred my kid out of a career in medicine.

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We all spent Scorch’s 1st Christmas sick with a stomach bug. I got it the night of the 24th, Scorch the night of the 25th and the Hubs the morning of the 26th.  I’m really hoping that this year isn’t a repeat of that because that, frankly, was miserable.   There is nothing fun about having to cut your 6 month olds clothes off him because he’s crapped all the way up to his neck due to a stomach bug when you’re sick too.  Oh well- at least the kids are old enough to hit bucket now.

Nov29

Suspicious Minds

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Upon returning from our Thanksgiving travels, the first thing I did was get out our Elf on the Shelf, Buddy.  This is Buddy’s third Christmas with us. Buddy has been with us for the past 3 Christmases and even though the kids still don’t know what to make of him, they wanted to know when he was coming back.  The first year we had him, he scared the life out of Scorch- in fact, Buddy never moved because Scorch would freak out if he did.  So Buddy spent all holiday season watching us from the top of our china cabinet while Scorch adjusted to having him around.  Last year was more successful as Buddy was allowed to move around our house- but he was NOT allowed in the kid’s room.  Scorch wasn’t having that.  Bean all but ignored the Elf- until this year.

She’s oddly fascinated by him and will not stop asking questions-

“When Buddy goes to the North Pole do his legs work?”

“Why doesn’t his head move?”

“Why is he always smiling even when we’re being bad?”

“If I stand here or here or here or here can Buddy still see me?”

And on and on and on.  You can tell she doesn’t quite believe but she’s scared not to believe too.  Right now I’m trying to sell Buddy as best I can to the Bean in the hopes that he keeps my little tornado in line for the next month!

Nov27

Thanksgiving 2011

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I really enjoyed having a thankful theme to my posts these past few weeks. I may cheat and keep it going through Christmas because I feel like I have so many more things/people to be thankful for that never got mentioned here.

Our Thanksgiving weekend officially started last Wednesday and since then we’ve traveled 400+ miles, visited 3 homes, attended one 6th birthday party and two 1st birthday parties, went swimming, ate some amazing meals (none of which I prepared), visited with more family members and friends then I could count, saw the biggest spider I’ve ever seen in the wild, watched my kids play with each of their cousins (no mean feat considering 2 of them live in Missouri!), put out all our Christmas lights and cut down our Christmas tree.

All in all, our weekend was just about perfect. Many, many thanks to all our friends and family who helped make it that way- we are so blessed to have you in our lives!

 

Nov21

Simplification

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The Hubs and I aren’t big on New Years resolutions, but we both agreed that 2011 was going to be our year of simplification. Back in January, the Hubs and I were both working 40+ hour a week jobs and balancing 2 small businesses on top of trying to be hands on, involved parents.  The Hubs job at the time was  crazy one where his life was frequently not his own.  When you’re 22 and don’t have any kids,  being given 18 hours notice before having to leave on a 3 week business trip was annoying. Trying to do the same thing at 34 with 2 kids and 2 businesses to run was next to impossible.  Our primary small business was a labor of love, but as the kids got older the sacrifices being made didn’t seem worth it.

So over the course of this summer and early fall we started making the changes needed to streamline our lives to ensure that our family was our primary focus.

Best. Decision. Ever.

The Hubs is now home every night for dinner. He no longer has to work a second job that is an hour away 3 nights a week and all day Saturday. We have true family time.  Before, we’d try to squeeze in a full weekend worth of activities and task in on a Sunday after Church.  It wasn’t restful or fun and more often then not we ended up more stressed then ever.  Now we have time for family hikes, time at the park, lazy Sunday’s watching football and so much more.

The decisions we made to get us here weren’t easy, but I’m so thankful we made them. I’m thankful to have my husband around every night after 5 years of pure craziness. I’m thankful our kids aren’t surprised any more when Daddy is home for dinner.  Can’t wait to see what 2012 brings!

Oct12

Perspective

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Today was not a stellar day.

The day after I have a hard night with the kids, I feel guilty. Guilty that I yelled. Guilty that I can’t figure out how to manage the Bean better. Guilty that I don’t keep as calm as I want to.  Guilty that the last thing my kids heard me say to them before bed was “Go to bed- I don’t want to hear an other peep from you!”  Guilty that the Bean is going to read this blog in a few years and just see the negativity and not see the joy she brings to our lives. Just plain old guilty.

Then I called the car dealership about this random blinking light in my van.  Turns out that random light means the air bag system in my car isn’t working.  The cost to fix it could run as much as $4000.  I almost cried. That’s a 4th of the total cost of the whole damn van!

Throw in lost car keys, running out of Hershey’s Syrup (a girl needs her chocolate milk!), a washer full of pieces of straw (don’t ask) and a few other minor insults and I decided today is simply not destined to be a good day.

Then reality slapped me in the face when I found out a friend of mine’s mother passed away. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, but still completely heartbreaking.

My worries? Sure- they are big in my world today, but in the grand scheme of things they are nothing.  Money comes and money goes. The Bean will eventually go to sleep again (please God, let that be true). The keys will show up and the grocery store will stock Hershey’s Syrup again.  My kids know I love them dearly and I really don’t think occasionally losing my cool is going to result in huge therapy bills for them.   And the end of the day, I have a healthy, happy family- the rest is just minor details.

Aug19

10 Years Ago

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10 years ago, we said “I do.”  He was 25 and I was 23.  We had been together for 4 years and had been living together for 2.  We said “I love you” to each other two months into our relationship and never looked back.  When you know, you know.

Our wedding was beautiful and our reception was an amazing celebration with 198 of our closest friend and family.  We laughed, ate, danced- we had the time of our lives.  It was everything I wanted to my wedding to be and more.  I was lucky enough not to be nervous and I enjoyed every single minute of that day.

Now here we are a decade later.  We’ve moved 3 times, lost 3 pregnancies, gained 3 animals and had 2 kids.  We’ve fought and each spent a night or ten on the couch.  We’ve cried over losses and changes.  But we’ve smiled and laughed a million times more.  We’ve built a life together with hard work, respect and love. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been so, so worth it.

If he asked again, I’d still say “yes.”

 

 

 

 

Aug17

Finally Four Again

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After 7 long weeks, the Hubs is home!  At the end of May he was offered a great job- one he’d wanted for five years and one that would allow us to keep living where we do now.  It is seriously a huge blessings that it came through.  But, there was a catch- he had to be gone from the end of June until yesterday for some hard core training over 900 miles away from home.  But 51 days apart were a small price to pay for a job he’d be happy with, so we kissed him goodbye and the kids and I tried to figure out our new normal for the summer.

I won’t lie- there were a few perks to being a single parent. The biggest was the fact that I set the schedule.  We didn’t have to worry about the Hubs or his work hours (his schedule is always erratic). If we wanted to go to the lake, we went.  If a last minute dinner invitation popped up, we could accept it and go.  My grocery bill was lower and the kids were (until the Bean’s climbing capers) in bed on time every night. I had the TV to myself and could (and did) read until the wee hours of the night with no one nagging me about the vampire garbage I watched or to turn the lights out.

It was awesome! For about a week…then it got old, fast.

We all  missed the Hubs terribly. I thought it was going to be the Bean who missed him most- I figured Scorch was old enough to roll with it. I was so wrong.  Scorch missed his father badly this summer and it showed in a million different ways, most of them not good.  The Bean did pretty well and I honestly think the fact that she’s so young helped out because she has no concept of time.   And I missed him too- his company, his help, his sense of humor and the fact he didn’t mind taking the garbage to the transfer station (something I loathe).

Y’all- being a single parent is hard, hard work. If you notice a thread of desperation in some of my posts these past few weeks it’s because I was doing it all by myself.  My parents, nanny and friends were amazing help- but 90% of the time it was just me at the kids when I wasn’t working.  I was all they had so I had to be Mom, Dad, cook, grocer, goalie, referee, chauffeur, teacher, playmate and everything else in between 24/7.  There was no such thing as me time and a lot of things, like my workouts, really slacked off.  I never realized just how much the Hubs did until he wasn’t here to do them any more.  My hat is off to all single parents- you truly have the hardest job in the world.

The Hubs came home with 2 broken ribs and a concussion and I managed a small flood and the Bean’s bedtime antics while he was gone- but we survived! Let’s just hope we never have to do it again.

At the beach before training.

 

Aug15

Here

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I’m here- but barely.  Today marks Week 2 of working mandatory 12 hour days/ 6 days a week.  What I do isn’t terribly hard either physically or mentally, but I’m wiped out.  Being glued to the computer from 7 am – 7 pm looking as long spreadsheet when you’re not used to it is much more taxing then you’d think.

Because I had to work all day Saturday, my parents offered to take the kids that morning for an overnight (Total. Godsend.)  All was well until I got the call at 10:30 am yesterday saying that the Bean had a stomach bug.  So I wrapped up what I was doing (grocery shopping), took the dog to the kennel and moved myself down to my parents house so I had help with the kids today while I continued to work (I honestly have no idea if I get sick days right now, I don’t think so).

So- to recap. 12 hour work days + 1 sick, cranky, pathetic kid = my head exploding.  Also, I’m nominating my parents for sainthood.

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I wrote that post this morning and after a nice evening at my parents I was going to scrap it and write something sincere and full of gratitude for the great people in our lives. And I still may do that. But not tonight as I just took me 1.5 hours to get the Bean to bed. *sigh* I feel so badly for that little girl, but I really, really wish she’d stay in bed.

Aug7

Happy Campers

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This poor neglected blog.  I hate going this long between posts, but at least this time I have a legitimate excuse- we were on vacation!  And not just any vacation, but the vacation I look forward to more then any other all year long.  We were camping.

I know, right? Camping- that is the vacation enjoy the most?  The Hubs and I have been to some amazing places both in the US and abroad and, yes, camping is my favorite in terms of pure relaxation and enjoyment.

Home Sweet Home

It helps that we camp with pros (and that the camp ground has indoor plumbing and hot showers).  We have been going to this particular campground since I was itty bitty. Out of my 33 years on this earth, I think I’ve been on this particular vacation 27 of those years.  My parents started going with my aunt and uncle and other family and friends when I was a year old and they just kept going back every year.  At it’s craziest, the trip would include 7 families, 14 kids and a handful of dogs.  Things are bit more subdued now- my kids and my niece are the only little ones around, but that’s just fine.  Scorch camped for the first time at 8 weeks old and the Bean at 3 weeks old.  Some years we rent a pop up camper and others we stay in a tent.

The most stressful decision of the day is whether we go to the beach before or after the kids naps and how many smores my kids can have before bed and still fall asleep.   Breakfast  (scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage & toast) is eaten in our sweats and hoodies around the fire pit, lunch is had at the beach and dinner (burgers, ribs, steaks, chicken & even shrimp) is eaten around picnic tables when everyone is slightly sunburned and tired out from a day playing in the waves of the lake.

There are no TVs, no video games and no computers.  We bring board games, cards, ladder golf and bocce ball and the kids play basketball, football, baseball and lacrosse.  No one ever says that they are board or argues over which movie to watch.  There are 12 adults to 3 kids- a perfect ratio to ensure that the kids never get into too much trouble and one person isn’t spread too thin keeping an eye on them.  In short, it’s wonderful.

Too bad we have 350-some odd days until we go again!

Jul11

Beach Bums

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We are home after a wonderfully relaxing 10 days off, 7 of which were spent at the beach!  Heaven, I tell you- it was heaven. We were in South Carolina- the beach was gorgeous, the water was warm, the waves were big enough to be fun but not too big to scare the kids, the company was wonderful  and the weather was perfect for 6 out of the 7 days.  Really, what more could you ask for?

I did, of course, learn a thing or two on vacation- I mean, how can you not when you’re driving 13 hours and staying in a house with 18 people for 7 days?

> 5 and 3 year olds can be rock stars in the car for really long periods of time, but only if you have a DVD playing. If not, they have amazing accuracy when throwing things at each other- things like markers, crayons, baby dolls and flip flops.

> 7 hours in to a drive, I frankly don’t care if they were throwing things as long as it wasn’t at me and they weren’t screaming.

> Jelly fish stings don’t hurt as much as I thought they would, but I wouldn’t recommend them (and no, you don’t have pee on them to make them stop hurting).

> Hunting for awesome sea shells never gets old.

> Having your kids share a room is hysterical especially if you have the baby monitor on to overhear them. My favorite is when Scorch some how got his foot stuck in the slats of the Bean’s crib when he was asking her smell his feet (no, I don’t know why- they are odd kids).

> Big cousins are the coolest people on earth and they can get my kids to do anything- even overcoming their fears to jump into the deep end of the pool. That is how we found out that Scorch can keep himself afloat without his floaties- nothing like trial by fire (and yes, a few years were shaved off my life when he pulled that stunt).

> Ice cream at the beach tastes better then ice cream anywhere else.