That’s me. I’m lazy.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m not lazy about a lot of things. My job. Watching my kids. Running my errands.

But when it comes to working out, I’m lazy. It doesn’t help that the only time I can find to work out is the crack of dawn- specifically 5:15 am Spin classes. I adore Spinning- and “adore” isn’t a work I typically use when talking about exercise. The pulse pounding music. The yelling instructor. Pushing myself to go faster, further.  It’s really the only form of cardio exercise I enjoy. Frankly, I’m not coordinated enough to do anything else!

But lordy, 4:45 comes early when I have to get up and leave my warm bed. I do love my warm bed- even more then I adore Spin classes. Once I talk myself out of bed, I have 15 mins to brush my teeth, wash my face, get dressed and get out the door- all while being as quiet as possible and not turning on any lights to make sure I don’t wake anyone.

It’s a lot of fun.

I keep reminding myself that I’m doing this for a reason. I have a few minor health issues that may balloon into bigger issues as I get older if I don’t take care of myself. I don’t want to deal with diabetes and heart disease when I get older- so I work out. I try to eat right. I not only want to set a good example for my kids, I want to live to see them dance at their kid’s wedding.

That said, it doesn’t mean I won’t be pissing and moaning each and every morning when the alarm goes off.

I’m a bit of an oddity for a few reasons.  First, I work full time in my house- I’ve been telecommuting for the past 8 years. Second, I really, really like my job.

Before kids, working from home meant sleeping until 8:20, rolling out of bed and starting work at 8:30. Now it means working a full day from 6 – 8:30 am getting the kids up, taking Scorch to school, then coming back again by 8:20, handing off the Bean to our amazing nanny, and then starting my official work day.  There are some mornings when starting work is my break. 😉

I’m incredibly lucky with this arrangement and know it. I love my job and my coworkers; I get to feel productive every day and bring in a pay check all while hearing my kids play upstairs. Some people take coffee breaks, I take hugs & kisses breaks. When the kiddos were little, I could stop to nurse them or calm them down. Now I can kiss boo-boos and hear about school days between conference calls.

But I do miss, on occasion, getting dressed for work and interacting with adults everyday. Which is why I love quick business trips! I get to see some of my favorite people, stay in a hotel much nicer then what we stay in as a family, eat dinners out at places that don’t have a kids menu and just get to be Grown Up. Conversations don’t revolve around Preschool Politics or potty training progress at the dinner table. I get to be Heather instead of simply Scorch & Bean’s Mom and, sometimes, that’s awesome.

I just hope my coworkers didn’t notice the crayon marks all over the top of my laptop.

I’ve already confessed one domestic shortcoming, might as well confess an other.

I don’t like to cook. At all- unless I have the time to spare,  like on a Sunday afternoon.  Weeknights between 5, when I get off work, and 6, when we eat,  is not my favorite time to cook.

That said, I do it 4-5 nights a week as our budget doesn’t allow for a personal chef (although I’m saving for one!) or eating out all the time. I have a staple of recipes I pull from ranging from chicken parm to breakfast for dinner but my list of go-to dishes needs to expanded, that is for sure. During the summer it’s easy- throw some meat on the grill, toss up a salad and slice up some watermelon.  Cooking when it’s 50 degrees out (and getting colder every day) and raining isn’t as simple.

Tonight I decided to branch out a bit. I got an easy recipe for marinated steak tips that sounded good, so I figured I’d throw in some baked potatoes and make up a salad and everyone would be happy.  I was feeling pretty cocky and even posted about how I was channeling my inner Martha Stewart on Facebook.

The steak turned out great- even the kiddos loved it! But the potatoes? Not so much. How does one screw up wrapping potatoes in foil and letting them bake?!?  I think I undercooked them even though they baked for 1 hr and 20 min because we couldn’t eat them.

Combine that with my inability to hard boil an egg properly and I think it’s pretty clear I’d fail Cooking 101.

One of my favorite people coaches the varsity girl’s soccer team in town,  so the kids and I decided to check out one of her games out tonight.  Even though it wasn’t my high school, it could’ve been.  It could have been any small town high school around- the crowd of cheering parents, the group of kids watching the game growing larger as the other teams get out of practice, the hoodies and jeans, the jokes and teasing.

I was one of the lucky ones- I loved my high school years and have nothing but great memories. I spent many an afternoon doing the same exact things those kids were doing and remember it like it was yesterday.

Which made the fact that I was there with my *kids* all the more startling.

As I was brushing Scorch’s teeth tonight before bed, all I could think was who the hell thought I was old enough to be in charge of someone’s dental hygiene? Nutrition? Education? Well being? Safety? Entertainment? And not only am I responsible for one kid- I’m responsible for two! Add in a husband of 9 years, a mortgage, a job I’ve had for 10 years, our own business and two mini-vans- I wonder how I got here.

When I look in the mirror, I still expect to see 17 year old me in there.

I wouldn’t change a single thing about my life- not The Hubs, the kids, the job- none of it. But I would love to go back just for a day and be 16 again.