Category Archives: Me

Not Martha-Approved


The kids each had to bring in Valentine’s Day cards to give out at school yesterday. I was so very proud of myself for remembering to buy cards last week before the stores ran outandfor having Scorch address and sign all his cards on Sunday. Clearly, I was way ahead of the game and I was feeling very smug about my preparedness.

That feeling went away very quickly yesterday when the kids showed me all the Valentine’s cards they received. Not even joking when I tell you that I think my kids were the only ones who gave out standard store-bought cards with no embellishments.  The kiddos showed me gorgeous hand made cards (one of which came in a hand-weaved paper heart), candy, stickers & pencils. And here I was proud of myself because I took the time to spell out the Bean’s full name instead of her nickname!

I’m sure the fact that it didn’t even dawn on me to do anything different (and next year, it most likely still won’t) is reason #3454 that my kids will end up in therapy wishing they had Martha Stewart as their mother.



Slice of Life: School Pickup


There is really no point to this post- it’s just a slice of our life. I just needed to get words on paper again after a small break and this if the first thing that came out….


Like clockwork, I’m at the kid’s school at 3 pm every day to pick them up and bring them home.

The routine is always the same. I stop in the Bean’s classroom first as she’s the most likely to freak out if I’m late. I check in, say hello and see if she wants to come with me to get her big brother in his classroom. Some days she’s simply too busy to bother me with me and other days she clings to my like like a monkey who hasn’t seen her mommy in days.

Our walk to Scorch’s classroom can be fun- she can be skipping or hopping and chattering away about all the great things she did that day. Or she could wrap herself around my neck and not say a word as we walk the halls. Being a 3 year old in school full time is exhausting. If she’s quiet and tired I try to joke her out of it with tickles and funny stories. Some days it works and other days I just make her mad. We frequently run into some of the older kids in the school who seem to think the Bean is their personal baby doll come to life- they dote on her and love her up all while she ignores them and plays shy. I’m told she talks to these girls during the day, but when I’m around she’s mute regardless of her mood.

When we arrive to Scorch’s classroom, I say hello to his teacher and peek my head in his room to tell it’s time to go.  The boy is always talking when I see him- always animated and smiling and laughing. He won’t leave until his conversation is finished and he’s said all his goodbyes. It’s impossible to hurry him along, so most of the time I stand there and watch my little ray of joy dance around with his friends.

On our walk back through the school to our car, Scorch can’t bother to walk with us. He’s too busy high-fiving the 6th graders and saying hello to everyone he sees. I really don’t think the boy has ever met a stranger and the Bean’s teacher calls Scorch the Mayor of the school because he knows everyone.  I admit to getting frustrated with the dwaddling and talking when I’m trying to herd my kids out the door- I have to go to work, get a move on! Keep up!- but part of me is so happy to see Scorch blossom and love school so much.

Once we finally- slowly- get to our car, it’s another adventure as the Bean comes alive. Is she going to be bubbly and sweet and happy or is keeping it together all day in school finally going to prove to be too much? There have been time she’s screamed and cried so loud in the parking lot as I’m trying to buckle her in her seat, I’ve honestly thought other parent was going to send a teacher out to investigate.  If she’s raging, that may last the whole 9 minute car ride home. Or it can be over in the blink of an eye. You just never know- I guess that’s what makes every day an adventure.





I got nothing.

I’ve been sitting here looking at the blank screen for a good 5 minutes trying to figure out what to write about. My mind is completely blank- I can’ t think of a cute thing my kids have done, a funny thing they’ve said, a book I’ve read- nada.

I’m not sure if this is because I’m on Day 5 of a 7 day fruit & veggie cleanse and that’s sucked the life out of me.  Or maybe I’m still recovering from our night 2 nights ago when Scorch was up from 1:45 – 4:15 am because of a nightmare.  Or maybe it’s because while I’m trying to write this all I can think about is the back log of work I have to do.

All I know is that I’m really, really glad that tomorrow is Friday.  We have a great weekend planned- a weekend that I’m really, really hoping will be capped off with the Giants winning the Super Bowl.

I’ll be back when I have my head screwed on tight again, promise.

I Think Her Medicine is Laced with Sugar & Other Tales


Yesterday when I picked up the Bean from school she was pale, wouldn’t really talk to me and wouldn’t stop holding her right ear. It didn’t take a genius to figure out she was sick, so off to the dr’s we went (huge thanks to them for getting us in with 10 minutes notice!).  Final diagnosis: strep throat and an ear infection.


I asked for a different kind of antibiotic to give her since she flat out refused to take the last kind, so we have a new med we’re using. This one is actually going down, thank goodness. But I think it’s laced with crack because Beaner hasn’t slowed down once since taking it. So the good news is she’s feeling much better, the bad news is she’s learned how to scale the kitchen cabinets.


One of the things I’d like to do better in 2012 is keep track of what I read. There is nothing I hate more then getting a book out of the library (or worse, buying it!) only to realize 10 pages in that I’ve already read it. So I started tracking my books on Good Reads.  Not sure if this link will work- but here are all the books I’ve reviewed so far.  I’ve reviewed either some of my favorites (The Outlander Series, for example)  as well as the books I’ve read in 2012.  I picked up 6 new books from the library this week, so I hope to update it again soon.


My other goal this year is to be more consistent with my workouts and to start working out with a trainer. That is why I haven’t been online as much- it hurts to type.


Holiday Cheer from the Sick House


Today I got the dreaded call. As soon as I saw the school’s name pop up on the caller ID, I knew that one my kids were either hurt or sick. Honestly, I was hoping for hurt this close to the holidays.  But nope, it’s a sick kid who puked in the cafeteria.   Poor Bean.

I’ve documented a time or two my fear and loathing for all things vomit, but I thought I had done a good job keeping my anxiety to myself.  Not so much.  When leaving school, Scorch refused to walk within a 5 feet of the Bean and he flat out refused to get in the car  on the same side as her because sick people “creep” him out and he didn’t want to get puked on.  I think it’s safe to say that I may have scarred my kid out of a career in medicine.


We all spent Scorch’s 1st Christmas sick with a stomach bug. I got it the night of the 24th, Scorch the night of the 25th and the Hubs the morning of the 26th.  I’m really hoping that this year isn’t a repeat of that because that, frankly, was miserable.   There is nothing fun about having to cut your 6 month olds clothes off him because he’s crapped all the way up to his neck due to a stomach bug when you’re sick too.  Oh well- at least the kids are old enough to hit bucket now.

I’m Not a Freak


Every year I promise myself it won’t happen. I think about it all January – this year will be different. I’ll be prepared. I’ll have lists. I’ll be organized. I will plan ahead.

And every year, I fail.

I’m talking, of course, about Christmas shopping. I read about these people who are done in August- or even in November- and I wonder who these freaks of nature are?  Who are these people who think that far ahead, who know what people want before they give a list or circle 100 things in a catalog?

I am not one of those people.  I one of the take-two-days-off-from-work, color-coded spreadsheet people.  I’m the one who leaves the house at 8 am and doesn’t come back till my checklist is checked off and my trunk is overflowing. I have friends that shop with me, bless them, but they know on these shopping days, it’s all about me. They are those already-done-shopping freaks anyhow, so I think they go just to watch me sweat, squirm and panic.  And for the meal we get because even shopping maniacs have to fuel up and I’m not one to pass up the joy of eating in a restaurant without children.

The best part is I normally have fun doing this. I like having one or two days to dedicate to the craziness of shopping.  I love the company of my friends and I enjoy the excuse to take a day for me (and everyone else that will benefit from my day).  I thrive on the stress and the need to get it done NOW.  Otherwise, it doesn’t get done. After 13+ years of shopping for Christmas I know that- it’s never going to change, so I might as well embrace it.

Now, the wrapping that I also need to get done under the gun? I’ll always loathe that part.


Need Help Getting my Martha On…


It’s well documented that I really don’t have a domestic bone in my body.  Things like curtains and pictures on the wall don’t concern me at all.  We can all thank the Hubs for his constant nagging that we have any of those little touches that tie our house together*.  I’m not crafty- I stand in awe of my friends who are.  My grandmother is a beautiful artist and singer, but that gene seems to have skipped me altogether.

And most of the time, I’m OK with that. I have my talents and 99.9% of the time I like myself just fine, so I don’t beat myself up over what I can’t do.  But occasionally I want to do it up right.  I want to make something personal and heartfelt and I’m  trying to figure out just how to do that, so that is where you come in.  In need help with two things:

1) Teacher’s Gifts
While I don’t think there is a bad teacher in my kid’s school, every year I’m convinced my kids have the best teachers in town. I try to use the holidays to express just how appreciative and thankful we are for them- lord knows I couldn’t do their job and half the time I wonder how they are as sane as they are.    I would really like a holiday gift to give them that shows this.  Whether it’s a homemade gift card holder or an ornament or anything- just hit me with your best teacher gift idea!

2) Holiday Snack
The Bean is scheduled to bring in snack for her class on the last day before break.  This is a lot of pressure and I’m already trying to figure out what to bring in.  Snack time is around 10:30 in the morning so it’s got to be healthy (please don’t get me started on Oreos as a morning snack- it’s my personal pet peeve).  I normally bring in a big fruit salad, but I’d like to make something a bit more festive. Melon balls stuck together like snowmen? Mini-bagel wreathes?  Somebody please, help me!

I’m bound and determined not to screw these things up and I’ll take all the help I can get!

*Please note, he doesn’t buy these things either, but he does nag me until I do.

I Fought the Law…


“Hey Mom, do you remember when the police pulled you over here and gave you a ticket last year?”

*sigh* “Yes, Scorch- I do remember that.”

“Did you have to go to jail?”

“Nope, I didn’t go to jail, buddy.  I was pulled over by mistake* so the police officer just gave me a ticket so I could go tell a judge what happened.  The judge saw that it was a mistake, so he just let me go.”

I’ll spare you the rest of the conversation, but needless to say, Scorch and the Bean had a gazillion questions and I spent the next 15 minutes in the car getting grilled by my kids about the judicial system, traffic laws and car insurance.  Don’t you wish you were there?

The only upside to that long conversation (that I’m sure wasn’t entirely factual) was that now every time I ask the Bean to do something, she’ll ask me if she doesn’t do it, will the policemen give her a ticket?  I wish I could tell you had the strength to be straight with my kid and tell the truth.  No, the police won’t give you a ticket for hitting your brother. No, the police won’t give you a ticket if you don’t go potty. No, the police won’t give you a ticket if you don’t come here right now.

But that would be a lie.**

As far as Beaner is concerned she could be ticketed for anything at anytime. And not just by the police. We may or may not have mentioned to her the concept of a citizen’s arrest and that may have resulted in one of the most peaceful weeks we’ve had in forever. Judge me all you want, but I may have finally found something that works for this kid and I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth. She’ll catch on soon enough.

*I got pulled over well over a year ago because the policeman ran my plates at a routine seatbelt check and found I didn’t have insurance. This was 2 weeks after we bought the car I was driving and it was insured, but there was a glitch with the insurance company reporting this fact to the state.  My insurance guy came to court with me on the appointed day to explain to the judge that the error was on their site and that I was in no way at fault and that was that.

**Before you think I’m poisoning my kid against the law, please remember The Hubs is a police officer.  So while I may lie to my kid about what she can get tickets for, we also make sure to stress how awesome police officers are, how they will always help you and so on.  And if she does grow up with a complex- well, insurance covers therapy and she’ll get over it soon enough.

Redefining Success


On Sunday Scorch got to go to a birthday party for one of his classmates.  The whole class was invited to this costume party so Scorch was beyond excited to go.  Every night during the week leading up to it, we had to count down how many more days until the Big Event. We had some major debates as to which accessories that went with his costume were appropriate for the party.  Fake grenade? Toy gun? Canteen? Just what does the well dressed fake solider need to be convincing?

The Hubs and I debated all week over which parent got to spend the time at the party versus which got to spend a few quality hours with the Bean.  Frankly, I could have used those hours at home to get a lot with only one child underfoot- Scorch’s book case needs to be weeded out, we still have some winter clothes that are MIA, the family room needed to be dusted.  We all know the to-do list never ends but I ultimately decided to go to the party.

And I’m so glad I did!  My kids go to a small school with one class per grade usually starting in Kindergarten. That means that Scorch will be in class with the same kids for the next 6 years- which also means we need to make friends with these parents.  These are the parents we’ll be chaperoning school trips with, organizing class parties next to and making small talk with at a lot of parties over the years.  While it would be nice to meet a new BFF among the parents, I’m happy enough if I don’t make a complete fool out of myself in front of them.  As far as I can tell, I managed the two hour party with my fly up, no food in my teeth and without falling over and/or using bad language in front of the kids.  If that’s not success, I don’t know what is.

The Big Meanie, That’s Me


As I type this, Scorch is in his room crying and talking trash about me (calling me a Big Meanie, he thinks he’s being quiet).  He’s mad because he lost one of his stuffed animals for a week.  Why? Because of his behavior.   Ever since our major family blow up a few weeks back, we’ve implemented a new policy.  The rules are set- there are only a 3 really big ones and when you break them you 1) go in time out and 2) lose something.  So Scorch broke one of the rules earlier (he told his sister he hated her), so he immediately lost the dessert we were sitting down to eat.  That went over about as well as you can expect. So he and I had a conversation about learning from our mistakes and making better choices.  Yet 5 minutes later, he told his sister the same thing.  I asked him to please pick one of this stuffed animals off his bed as it was now mine for the next week.

Oh, the humanity.

The funny this is, the boy has at least 20+ animal on his bed and if I had gone in and taking Froggy away without telling him, he’d never know he was gone.  Maybe this time he’ll learn?


I have no good excuse for not blogging lately- just a lot of minor ones.  A fall cold (thanks, Bean!), busy evenings (including a much needed mid-week girl’s night), spending some time with the Hubs (so nice to have him home most nights), and being in bed by 9:30 every night.  A few weeks back, I started working out back at the gym. I couldn’t go while Pete was gone this summer, but now that he’s home, I’m trying to go to bootcamp class 3x a week and spinning 2x a week- all of which require me to get up before 5 am. I realize a lot of people have to do that every day, but I don’t and holy crap that is the middle of the night. But I’m trying my hardest, so that means early bedtimes so I don’t fall over mid-day.  They damn well better pay off is all I have to say.