Category Archives: parenting

May9

Word Games

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I may have mentioned a time or hundred that Scorch is a very verbal kid.  He learned how to talk early and he basically hasn’t stopped since. Frankly, I think that’s awesome 99.9% of the time- he’s got a great vocabulary and you never have to wonder what he’s thinking. Scorch also likes to play word games- rhyming words, asking what words mean the same thing as another word and so on.  Again- awesome!  If our matching eyes weren’t enough, his inability to stay quiet would be proof enough that he’s my son.

But…what do I do about words he “makes” up that are actually bad words?  For example, Scorch had a bug bite the other day and was telling me it was itchy. The he made up a song about his itchy-bitchy bug bite.  We were at home and it was just the 4 of us so I didn’t mention that bitchy was a bad word (although I did snicker to myself all night).  Then today we were listening to “Bust a Move” in the car (don’t judge me) and Scorch changed it to busty.  And instead of saying “Mom, you’re so busted” he started saying, “Mom, you’re so busty.”   Again, he doesn’t have a clue!

However, I’m starting to wonder if I’m doing him a disservice by not telling him about words he shouldn’t say.  I don’t want him to say something that he’s said at home in school and get into trouble because I didn’t explain that words like bitchy aren’t nice to say and that calling a woman busty may be inappropriate.

So help me, wise internet- when did you start explaining the concept of really bad words to your kids?

May3

5 More Minutes

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Sometimes I worry that when my kids look back on their lives, the only thing they are going to remember is me telling them to hurry up.  That’s partly the Hubs fault and partly their fault*.  I try to be punctual, but I’m married to a man who keeps his own internal clock and that clock? It’s always broken so we’re constantly late to things.  Add in the fact that 2 and 4 year olds aren’t the quickest of individuals (unless they are running away from you in the grocery store) and I’m constantly yelling things like “Get a move on!” or “The bus is leaving- get on or stay home!” or “Pay attention and keep up, please!”

For the most part, I have an internal time table in my head. We need to be out the door by 7:45 for school. We need to leave school by 8:10 to get home and get to work on time. Dinner is at 6.  The Bean’s bedtime starts at 7, Scorch’s at 7:30.  And when those time lines start slipping? That’s when my shoulders start getting more tense and I start in with the hurrying up.

I’m trying to break that habit now as I’m getting sick of hearing myself saying the same things over and over. Some timelines are non-negotiable.  We need to get to school on time so I can get to work on time- period.  But dinner time? Does anyone really care if dinner is on the table 10 minutes late so we can spend more time enjoying the nicer weather? Nope. And bedtime- does a 15 minute slip matter in the grand scheme of things if that slip allows me to get in extra hugs or share another Superhero story with the kids.  Those are the memories I want my kids to keep with them, not the nagging mom ones.

So tonight, I grabbed those extra hugs, I sang another song to Bean and I explained exactly how Anakin became Darth Vader to Scorch.  It was a great night.

*I, of course, am always on time. Except this morning when I decided that instead of setting the alarm, I’d rely on Scorch (my very early riser) to get me out bed. Fool proof- except he slept in and we didn’t get out of bed until 7:27 this morning. Whoops.

May2

That Mom

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Before we had kids, I was never going to be That Mom.  That mom who never wanted to leave her kids. That mom who got teary eyed before trips and spent all her free time either 1) talking about her kids or 2) checking in on her kids.

But…guess, what? I kinda am.

I’ll be leaving the kiddos for a week later this month for a combination persona and business trip.  Prior to this, the longest I’ve been away from the kids is 3 days.

I know they’ll be in great hands (the Hubs & my parents- hello!) and I know that both trips are going to be great- but man, I’m dreading being gone.  Growing up, my parents always took yearly trips away from us kids. Even if they went to the next town over and stayed in a nice hotel for a night or two, they always made their relationship a priority. And I agree with that completely but now that the time is getting closer I’m getting itchy.

Scorch will roll with this well, but Bean? Bean’s not even 3 year and she’s very attached to us.  Frankly, she’s going to be mad as hell that we left and I know we’re going to pay for this dearly.  But I’m going…I’m going to worry and fret until it’s time to go, then I’m going to enjoy every minute while I’m gone and, finally, I’m going to love up those kids like crazy when I get home.

Apr28

The Games We Play

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The Bean has a game she likes to play. The Stalling Game.  You know, the game where your kids do everything in their power to stall before bed.  I thought we were over this game, but evidently not as she’s back to insisting she needs to go potty 6 times before bed.  The minute you put her on the potty after she goes the first time, she just wants to play. Or read a magazine. Or simply goof off.  But heaven help you if you try to pry her little hiney off the potty before she’s “done” because she’ll scream the house down.

We’re on minute 8 of her yelling for me from her bed that she has to go potty.  And I feel like a jerk for not taking her. All sorts of thoughts run through my head- what if she really does need to go (again- she’s already been 4 times)? What if she has a UTI? What if, what if, what if?  So I sit here and stew and feel badly and worry even though I know darn well the minute I go in to get her, she’ll turn off the water works, grin from ear to ear and proceed to waste 2 minutes pretending to go potty.

Which makes me wonder, as I’m typing this out, if I’m picking my battles or just being as stubborn as she is.  If I go in and get the Bean right now, it’ll take 5 minutes tops to undress her, let her try and put her back to bed and walk away.  She may or may not stop crying and go to bed after that.   On the other hand, if I go in and get her right now knowing full well she doesn’t have to go, am I giving in and setting myself up for more trouble and stalling going forward?

Yes, I do realize these aren’t end of the world problems. But lordy, it’s bothering me.

Apr26

Crazy Thankful

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There are days- every day to be exact- that I’m so thankful for my kids.  But some days, the thankfulness is muted by exhaustion, frustration, or plain old boredom.  I mean- clearly I’m raising the smartest, funniest, most talented 4 year old and 2 year old in the world, but there are only so many times you can remind your kids to stop hitting/brush their teeth/sit still/stop talking before you start losing your mind.

But today? Today I’m feeling ferociously thankful for those two little buggers. There is no reason in particular- in all honesty today was a crazy, stressful day and tonight was a typical Tuesday with the swim lessons, dinner, bath time & bed nuttiness.  The kids spent the whole drive home fighting over what song to listen to on the radio, stealing each others toys and generally being crazy making.  Bedtime was a struggle as the Hubs had to go back to work and I was doing it all solo all the while juggling Crazy Dog because it was storming.

45 minutes after bedtime, the Bean woke up crying because the thunder was so loud it woke her up. I went in to calm her down and as we were sitting there, my overtired goof got a case of the giggles. I’m talking shoulder shaking, snorting you’re laughing so hard, giggles. As I’m watching her curls bounce up and down and listening to her laughter,  I thought to myself that there is no place else on this earth I’d rather be right now then where I was holding the Bean.*

*Note- should these storms wake her up after I go to bed for the night, I reserve the right to change my mind.

Apr25

They’re Worth It

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“MOMMY!”

“What Bean?”

“I haf cat hair in my mouth.”

“I’m sorry, sweets- that is what you get when you wrestle with Mooch.”

“Please get it out.”

“Excuse me? You want me to get that cat hair out of your mouth?”

“Yup.”

And that is how I found myself scraping my daughter’s tongue with my fingernails to get the cat hair out of her mouth.

I had no idea about all the ridiculous things I’d have to do as a parent.  I knew about the butt wiping, the vomit cleaning (*shudder*) and the drool drying- everyone loves to tell you about the gross things. But how come no one told me about the rest.  No one warned me about…

– the appropriate response when your kid tries to stick their finger up one of the pet’s bums (thankfully a phase both my kids have long out grown)

– how exactly to respond when your kid informs you quite adamantly that that long haired guy with 7 earring ringing you out at the grocery store is a girl.  Loudly. Over and over.

– the proper reaction when your newly potty trained child announces to everyone in the  public rest room what you’re doing in great detail.

– the fact that you will, on more then one occasion, fish something out of the toilet that your kids dropped in.  Even when the water isn’t exactly clean.

Why were these things not mentioned? Consider this fair warning- you will be embarrassed and grossed out by your kids regularly.  You’ll do things you’d never think you’d do all for the sake of saving your plumbing and making your kids happy- so make sure you have rubber gloves around and have a thick skin. The kids are worth it.

Mar25

Winning!

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I just got thrown up on by my daughter (poor Bean!).  I didn’t drop her and/or throw her across the room. Nor did I freak out, yell, or launch myself immediately into a scalding hot shower.  I reacted calmly with lots of reassuring back rubs and loving words even though I was gagging on the inside and resisting the unbelievably strong urge to strip down to get the soiled clothes of me.

Who’s Mother of the Year? Oh yeah- ME!

Mar17

Love Thursday: Little Reminders

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I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up (I still don’t, honestly).  The only thing I did know is that my future involved kids. When we were dealing with the 3 years of infertility and miscarriages, I dreamed about all the things I knew I’d love when I finally become a mom.  Long cuddles. The smell of a baby’s head. Days at the park.  The list was endless and it was the only thing that kept me going at times.

And I was right- I do (did- there are no more baby heads to sniff anymore!) love those things. But I find myself loving the oddest things.  Like opening my eyes in the morning and spotting a Disney Princess cup on my dresser.  Or reaching into my purse and pulling out an Iron Man toy instead of my wallet.  The fact that when I shower there are more soaps and bubbles for the little people in my house then there are for the big people.

In my darkest days, I wondered if I’d ever get to have kids running around my house, so these small little reminders of the kiddos make me smile much more often then they make me nuts.

Mar16

Missing Them

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From day 1, I knew I wasn’t stay at home mom material.  Quite frankly, staying home with my kids full time is much harder then my day job!

I have had the luxury of working from my home for a Big Company for the past 8+ years. Pre-kids I had a nice little office set up in one of our spare bedrooms- big L-shaped desk, bookshelves, awards.  Now each of those spare bedrooms is filled with a kid so I work out of a small hutch in our family room.  It’s not glamorous, but it allows me to get my job done each day.

When I was pregnant with Scorch, we researched a variety of day care options. After looking at a few places, we realized how silly it was to send Scorch out of the house while I was here so we hired Mary, our nanny. Since then, I’ve had the pleasure (most of the time) of being able to work with my kids one floor up from me. I can love on them any time I want. I give them kisses when they leave the house and I greet them at the door when they get home. In the summer I can take my lunch outside with them or take a break between meetings to stick my feet in the kiddie pool while they play.  In short, it’s the perfect set up!

Today I took the day off from work and was out of the house all day long.  On my drive home, I realized just how much I missed those little buggers.  Then I realized how much more I was going to miss them next year when they are both in school full time.

Anyone know of a way to freeze time? Because today, I’m all for that!

Mar2

Battle of Wills

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The Hubs is one of the most stubborn people I know. He’s right, you’re wrong and that is all there is to that.  On top of that, The Hub’s job also puts him in a position of authority. He’s very used to people telling people what to do and having them hop to.  Those traits serve him very well both professional and personally. Except for when they are reflected back at him through his kids.

Dinner tonight was a low key affair, so the kids ate sitting on the bar stools in the kitchen while the Hubs sat at the table behind them.  Beaner was sitting on her knees and wasn’t very steady so the Hubs asked her to please sit on her bum so she didn’t fall off the stool.

She ignored him.

He called her name again and repeated his request.  Beaners squared her little jaw and continued to ignore him.

I tried to intervene but  The Hubs asked me to let him take care of it, so I backed off while keeping my eyes on the Bean.  He repeated his request one more time, this time telling her if she doesn’t answer him, she will be going to timeout.

She  lifted her hiney in the air and settled it very carefully and very purposefully back on her feet, sitting on her knees still.

Honest to God, I thought the Hubs head was going to explode as he picked her up and carried her to time out.

I do believe he’s met his match!