Category Archives: Scorch

Oct19

For Your Listening Pleasure…

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When the kids came home from school today we had our usual Kitchen Dance Party.  I threw on some  music (today it was “I Gotta Feeling” by Blacked Eyed Peas) and we shook our bodies until we’re all cracking up and out of breath.  All was going great until Scorch told us to look at him because he wanted to show us his Justin Bieber moves.

His WHAT?

I don’t have an issue with the Biebs himself- but he’s not my cup of tea, so we’ve never listened to him or even talked about him at our house before. So Scorch must have learned about His Hairness at school.  And frankly, I’m not ready for my kid to be influenced by his friends yet. Especially not influenced into listening to music like that when there is so much other great music out there.

So, I did what any other self-respecting parent would do. I got online and found good music for the kids to listen to.  Cream, Rolling Stones, Neil Diamond, Steve Miller Band, Barenaked Ladies, Billy Idol, U2, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, & Billy Joel.  Looking back, I realize my play list makes me seem old- but it was hard to come up with appropriate songs that my 5 & 3 year old would both like.   Thank goodness, they are fully aware of the musical genius that is Jimmy Buffett, so if nothing else, at least I did that right.

I may have gotten a little over zealous with my music sharing though considering Scorch told me he didn’t want to go to bed because he’d have nightmares about Michael Jackson’s Thriller video.

But tell me- what do you listen to with (or without) your kids?  I may not be able to control everything, but I’ll be damned if my kids are getting sucked into crappy music yet.  I was at least 10 before the cult of NKOTB drew me in!

Oct13

Hyenas

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For homework over the long weekend, Scorch had to make a poster filled with pictures of his favorite animal.  Awesome! I was thinking cats or dogs or maybe even moose- they are a favorite ever since the Hubs went to Alaska a few years back.  Oh no- not my kid.  His pick?  Hyenas.

Seriously, kid? Hyenas?

No joke, he wants to makes a picture collage of hyenas.  Cute, cuddly hyenas.  When I asked him why, he told me how he liked them because they were both predators and scavengers. And that they lived in big family units and the mom’s take really good care of their babies.  Alright then- I decided I could get behind this idea.  But Scorch wasn’t done explaining yet.

“Plus- spotted hyena girls have something on them that looks like a pen.is and that is awesome! Because everyone should have a pen.is.”

Clearly, I need to start limiting the nature documentaries that boy watches.

Oct11

Go to Sleep (Part 234)

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Ah..the night before the return to school after a 4 day weekend. Oh, how I loathe thee.  The kids are all amped up and I’m feeling the pressure to make sure they are in bed on time so they get enough sleep.  Instead… we have a night like this one.

My kids should have been in bed asleep 45 minutes ago. Instead, Scorch is in his room telling stories to his 59 stuffed animals on his bed and the Bean is in bed sobbing for me.  Why? Because she doesn’t want the water I gave her earlier- she wants fresh water.  The problem is that it’s already fresh. First the Hubs filled it up for her.  Then 5 minutes later, she told me she wanted new water. I had no idea that the Hubs had just given her a fresh cup, so I dumped it out and filled her up again.  But now 10 minutes later, she wants even newer water.

My mama didn’t raise no fool- I know she’s stalling and trying to make me dance, so I told her no and kissed her good night. These are the nights I thank the Good Lord that we live in the country because if we didn’t, I think the cops would have been called due to that child’s screams. You’d think we were torturing her with a branding iron.

I knew the night wasn’t going to go well when the Hubs went to throw our steaks on the grill and realized we ran out of propane. That right there is a sign to just pack it in- things are not going to end well.  When he finally came home with a new propane tank, I went to start up the grill while he set the table. I can now confirm that yes, burned hair smells terrible and yes, you can absolutely can singe the hair off your arms. It’s a sexy look, let me tell you.

Tomorrow night has to go better, right? If nothing else, the kids will be so exhausted after a full day of school that I can at least put them to bed uber-early.

Sep25

The Big Meanie, That’s Me

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As I type this, Scorch is in his room crying and talking trash about me (calling me a Big Meanie, he thinks he’s being quiet).  He’s mad because he lost one of his stuffed animals for a week.  Why? Because of his behavior.   Ever since our major family blow up a few weeks back, we’ve implemented a new policy.  The rules are set- there are only a 3 really big ones and when you break them you 1) go in time out and 2) lose something.  So Scorch broke one of the rules earlier (he told his sister he hated her), so he immediately lost the dessert we were sitting down to eat.  That went over about as well as you can expect. So he and I had a conversation about learning from our mistakes and making better choices.  Yet 5 minutes later, he told his sister the same thing.  I asked him to please pick one of this stuffed animals off his bed as it was now mine for the next week.

Oh, the humanity.

The funny this is, the boy has at least 20+ animal on his bed and if I had gone in and taking Froggy away without telling him, he’d never know he was gone.  Maybe this time he’ll learn?

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I have no good excuse for not blogging lately- just a lot of minor ones.  A fall cold (thanks, Bean!), busy evenings (including a much needed mid-week girl’s night), spending some time with the Hubs (so nice to have him home most nights), and being in bed by 9:30 every night.  A few weeks back, I started working out back at the gym. I couldn’t go while Pete was gone this summer, but now that he’s home, I’m trying to go to bootcamp class 3x a week and spinning 2x a week- all of which require me to get up before 5 am. I realize a lot of people have to do that every day, but I don’t and holy crap that is the middle of the night. But I’m trying my hardest, so that means early bedtimes so I don’t fall over mid-day.  They damn well better pay off is all I have to say.

 

 

Sep9

First Day

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After all the worrying and stress, the first day of school is over! Friends were made, lunches were had, playgrounds were conquered and the only tears that were shed were by Bean at the end of the day.

Over night I went from having little kids to having a Kindergartener and a Preschooler.  Let’s hope the rest of their year is filled with this much anticipation and excitement!

 

Sep1

Love Thursday: One Small Step

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Dear Scorch-

Last night we went to an Ice Cream social at your school a week before classes begin.  We’ve gone every year since you started school there as a 3 year old and every year you’ve clung to us.  You’ve buried your head in my shoulder and refused to shake hands or say hi to your new teacher.  Last year you warmed up about 30 minutes in and went to play with friends, but you kept us in your line of sight the whole time.

This year was a whole new ball game.

You proudly marched in the cafeteria and were so excited to be back.  You pointed everything out to the Bean because you know she’ll be scared when she starts there next week too.  You ran up to all your former teachers and gave them big hugs and filled them in on random facts about your summer break.

I got to pet an alligator!

Daddy has a new job and a new badge and it’s super cool!

I fell on the playground last week and really did a number on my face!

Mommy got stung by a jellyfish- in her hiney!

When it came time to meet your new teachers, you were a little shy.  But as soon as they put their hands out to shake yours, you didn’t hesitate.

Hi, I’m Scorch.

And then- you were off.  You were hugging friends and running around without a backwards glance.  You didn’t care where we were, you just wanted to go. The only time we saw you for the next hour was if we tracked you down to make sure you were still in the building.

And I died a little inside knowing that this was just one more (big) step forward- not the first and surely not the last.

Every day you assert yourself more and more. Last week when I asked you to do something, you said “No. I refuse.” After I shut my mouth (which had hit the floor), I insisted that you do do what was asked of you- but inside I was thrilled with your gumption & your vocabulary.   Just about every day you bring me a new piece of paper with a word or a phrase you’ve tried to sound out yourself- you are bursting to learn how to write and I couldn’t be more excited for you! (Unfortunately it looks like your skills at sounding out words is as good as mine- but don’t worry kiddo, there is a reason we have spell check).

I want so much for you this year- your first year in school full time.  I want you to learn- be a sponge and ask a million questions.  I want you to make a zillion different kinds of friends- a best friend, a play ground buddy, a friend to sit next to at lunch, friends who are boys and friends who are girls.  I want you to have the confidence to ask to play with a stranger. I want you to simply love school- all aspects of it.  And I think you will.

To quote one of your favorite movies-  “You’ve got guts, spunk and moxie, kid!”  And you do! We cannot wait to watch you shine this year!

I love you.

– Mommy

 

 

Aug29

Just a Normal Night

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It’s 8:30 and the kids have been in bed for the past 10 minutes.  I’m in our family room getting ready to turn on the TV when Scorch comes tearing down the stairs in full freak out mode.

“Mom, Mom! I have to show you something.  It’s really weird and I don’t know what it is and you need to get rid of it right now!”

“Whoa- slow down.  What’s right where?”  I figured there was a bug somewhere in his room – we always have a moth or 5 in the house thanks to letting the dog in and out in the evening & they like Scorch’s night light.

“It’s on my fingers and I have no idea what it is and you need to take it off right now!”

I examine his finger closely for .005 seconds.

“Seriously, bud?!  It’s a booger- go get a tissue and get back to bed!”

So…how is your night going?

Aug22

We Don’t Negotiate With Terrorists

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The Hubs and I took the kids to the park after dinner tonight.  We had to take two cars so the Hubs drove the kids there and I drove them home.  Evidently on the way there, the Hubs told them they could drive a special way home.  Too bad no one shared this piece of information with me, so I drove right past that “special” way.

You would have thought I ran over our dog with the way Scorch reacted.

He demanded I turn around immediately to go back the way he wanted to.  The problem is that the way he wanted to go wouldn’t take us home, so I told him I’d go another way that’s even more fun because it’s right by his best friend’s house.

He didn’t buy it- cue the waterworks and the demands.

“If you don’t turn around right now, then you have to give me two marshmallows when we get home!”

“If you don’t turn around right now, then we have to go to the store first thing tomorrow to buy me a toy.”

“If you don’t turn around right now, then I’m going to need 3 books tonight to make this up to me.”

And on and on and on.  All I could do was laugh and simply tell Scorch that I don’t negotiate with terrorists.  He didn’t understand, but he didn’t get anything he demanded for either.

Aug10

Déjà Vu

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Thanks to the way our house is set up, our kids bedrooms are right next to each other.  They share a wall and their doorways are no more then 6 inches apart.  Even though they each have a sound machine  and we keep a fan running in the hallway during the summer to push the cold air from our window a/c unit into their rooms, they can still very easily hear each other.

Last night I was shocked when bedtime magically went off without much of a fuss.  I put both kids to bed at the same time and the Bean stayed in bed and didn’t start her usual hysterics.  I was almost giddy with relief- maybe, just maybe, the worst was behind us.  I camped out in the living room after getting them down just to make sure the Bean was staying put and started to read my book.  5 minutes pass and all is still quiet until I hear Scorch yell for me.

I ran/glided down the hallway past the Bean’s room into Scorch’s trying so very hard not to make too much noise thinking for sure he must be bleeding or the house must be fire because why else would he yell for me after I explicitly told him not to?  Nope- no life threatening emergencies, he just wanted to know if he could sleep with his shirt off.  I calmly told him he could do whatever he needed to to be comfy, but he could not yell for me again because he may wake his sister up.  I kissed him goodnight again and tried to silently sneak back out past the Bean’s room.

Yeah- no such luck, I was busted.  Thankfully it only took me a few minutes to get her back down so it wasn’t too bad.

Fast forward to tonight. Again, I’m putting the kids to bed at the same time and all is going relatively well.  Before kissing Scorch goodnight, I asked him if he needed to ask me anything because I didn’t want him yelling for me and waking his sister up.  He assures me he’s fine, so I head into the kitchen again to wait the Bean out and see if she’s going to stay in bed.

I kid you not- 5 minutes later, Scorch yelled for me.  Thinking that he damn well have better lost a limb, I tried to quietly get into his room. His limbs were all intact, he just wanted to know if he woke the Bean up last night when he yelled for me.  If he did, he was really sorry and he wouldn’t do it again.

I wanted to bang my head on the wall.  I greatly appreciated his apology and his sweet sentiment, but it would have meant so much more if he hadn’t done the same exact thing again in order to apologize.  For a smart kid, sometimes I wonder about him!

 

Jul18

Worst Mom EVER

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Last week I had the great idea to take two tired kids to an outdoor concert that started right at the Bean’s bedtime.  They held it together great at the concert and we had a great time dancing and play. The trouble started when it was time to go home.

Somewhere between the park and our car (about a quarter of a block), Scorch decided that we just had to stop by the store on our way home to buy him a toy.  I tried explaining to him that no, we don’t just buy toys for the heck of it- he gets them for birthdays, Christmas & when he earns them.  He was not happy.  Turns out he thought since the Bean was having a birthday, he too should get toys because otherwise it simply wasn’t right. And when Scorch thinks things aren’t right, he tells me loudly, with tears.

“Mom- it’s unfair that I don’t get a toy too.  Do you know what unfair means? It means that it’s not fair. If the Bean gets toys on her birthday, then I get toys then too otherwise it’s unfair.”  (I love it when my kids give me vocabulary lessons!)

I tried explaining to Scorch that no,  each of them have a birthday once a year and on his birthday, the Bean didn’t get any toys, so he doesn’t on her birthday.  He wasn’t having it, so he kept up his rant/crying/pleading/threatening tirade the entire 15 minute ride home.   When we got home, he seemed to have realized that his words weren’t making a dent, so he grabbed some chalk and drew me a picture on the driveway as I was getting the Bean out of the car.  Behold:

When I asked Scorch what he drew, he told me it was a picture of Sad Scorch crying because he had the worst mom ever. The picture is still on our driveway and I laugh every time I see it- it’s a wonder that boy has the will to get out of bed in the mornings with me as his mother.

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Quick side note- my niece, the incredible Baby Lala, now weighs over 10 lbs!!  Not to shabby for a kid who started out life at less then 2 lbs big!