Category Archives: Scorch

Feb8

Best & Worst

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Every night at dinner we play a game. Each person has to go around the table and say what the best and worst part of their day was.

Scorch loves this part of dinner and if one of us forgets, he’ll get the conversation rolling.  The Hubs & I love it because it gives us great insight into the daily life of a pre-schooler and all the drama it involves.

The best part of the day for Scorch is usually one of two things- recess time at school or our family dinner time.  I agree with both things- I mean, what’s better then getting to run around the school gym with all your friends or to eat a good dinner with your family? Now, if it were me, I’d add bedtime in there too but at 4 the lure of 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep just isn’t that great.

Talking about the worst part of his day is where things really get interesting.  Sometimes it’s mundane- Peter wanted to play fireman & Scorch wanted to play dinosaurs, but Peter got his way and that made Scorch so sad.  Sometimes it’s funny- like when Scorch is still ticked at us because we wouldn’t rush right out to the store to get him what ever toy he has his heart set on.  This is usual told with pouting, tears and pleading. Sometimes it’s scary- like when he told us how his friends (being 4 years old & not knowing any better) tried to tie a jump rope around his neck and drag him to jail while playing Cops & Robbers.  Regardless, the answer is always enlightening and we get so much more out of him that way as opposed to simply asking how school was.

The Bean is still too little to play along with us, but I hope we keep having these conversations forever.  They are typically the best part of my day!

Feb7

Makin’ Whoopie

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A few months back, the Hubs went to the store to pick up a few things- light bulbs, garbage bags. You know, the boring things you need to pick up on a Saturday morning before working around the house.  He came home with all that plus something extra for the kids.

Whoopie cushions.

Naturally, the kids thought they were awesome.  There is nothing funnier when you’re 2 & 4 then bodily functions- and a toy that sounds like toots?? It’s like hitting the jackpot.

Then, like with all toys, the kids lost interests and moved on.  Until today.

Today the kids discovered that they could “trick” someone into sitting on a whoopie cushion and pretending that the noise was real.  When I came in from work today, the kids had a chair set up with a pillow on it and a blanket over the seat with a suspicious looking bulge under it.  They invited me to take a seat after my long day of sitting in front of my computer, so I did.  When the whoopie cushion made its noise, the kiddos laughed so hard they got tears in their eyes.  When the Hubs got home some 15 minutes later, it was even funnier.

Since then they have been trying to slip cushions under everything to surprise us- there is no escaping them. Consider this fair warning if you come to our house!

Jan31

Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200.

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The Hubs and I have been getting tired of spending our evening either working or watching TV after the kids go to bed, so the other day I bought us Monopoly. The Hubs had mentioned that he enjoyed it and I figured I’d give a shot.

Scorch’s eyes lit up when he saw me walk into the house with a New! Game!

“Can we play it now?”  “When can we play it?” “Why can’t we play it now?”

Last night, after dinner, I ran out of excuses so we broke out the game.  Have you ever played Monopoly with a 4 and a 2 year old?  If you haven’t, may I suggest you don’t.  Ever.

I had to pry the dice out of the Bean’s mouth.  We had to explain to Scorch about 5 times why just because you have the smallest number of bills, that doesn’t mean you have the least amount of money. We had to explain to him why I didn’t pay him money each time I landed on a square- any square.  And then there was his irrational fear of ending up in Jail.  He asked at one point if we would really put handcuffs on him if he had to there.

After about 7 minutes into the game, the Hubs and I were ready to poke our eyes out with forks (which, honestly, is how I always feel when playing Monopoly) so we tell the kids it’s time for bed.  But Scorch doesn’t want to go to bed without winning first.

While the Hubs & I tried to communicate in code with each other on how we can end this, Scorchedvthe dice one on top of the other.  When he called my attention to it, I gasped out loud and lied through my teeth saying “How did you know to do that? That means you WIN!!”  The boy was thrilled!

Yes, I’m a terrible parent. But I’m a terrible parent who got out of playing a torturous game and who’s kids got to bed on time. I win!

 

Jan30

I’ll Keep Him

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Yesterday was what we call a Rough Day.

Scorch woke up thinking he suddenly had the power to make us do exactly what he wanted us to do. And what he wanted us to do was to go to the store and buy him a huge Nerf gun. Immediately. At 7 am.  And when- surprise, surprise- this didn’t work. He threw a fit- he cried, he pleaded, he threatened, he yelled.  He sat in time out.

Lather, rinse and repeat 5 times yesterday.

The Hubs and I were at a loss. We may pick up something small for the kids when we’re at the store (like a gum ball) but we’re not prone to buying the kids big things when it’s not a holiday or their birthday.  This was completely out of left field and there was no reasoning with him. I wanted to cry by the time we put him to bed last night.

This morning when we all got up and moving around, Scorch says to me “Mom- you know I had a really rough day yesterday.”

I agreed.

“I don’t want to have another rough day today, okay, Mom?  So if you can just go to the store right now to get me the Nerf Gun, I’ll have a good day. You may want to do that now.”

After I picked my jaw off the floor and stifled my laughter, we had a long long talk about how this was NOT going to be a rough day even though he was not getting what he wanted. And we didn’t- over all it was a good day.

I was reminded of why I didn’t sell Scorch to the circus last night when right before dinner he gathered his Dad and little sister around him and whispers loud enough for the neighbors to hear “Let’s surprise Mom. Let’s do what she asks the first time she asks it. That’ll make her so happy!”

I guess I won’t sell him yet.

Jan26

Apples & Oranges

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When I was pregnant with Scorch, we’d always sit behind the same family at Mass on Sunday.  Mom, little boy and baby sister. Baby sister was a stinker. Loud,  active and  never able to sit still.

One Sunday, baby sister was around 2 and she was acting up- she kept wanting to go into the aisle.  Finally the mom had enough and she got right down to the little girls level and hissed at her “Don’t you dare put one toe outside of this pew, young lady!”  She meant business- heck, she scared me.

Baby sister kept her eyes right on her mom and very carefully, very deliberately took her right foot and stomped it in the aisle.

The Hubs and I never laughed so hard in church- all the while praying that the baby we were having wasn’t a thing like that little girl.

And Scorch isn’t.  He listens. He stays where you tell him to. He doesn’t poke around into things he shouldn’t. And he typically asks for permission before doing anything. When he does step out of line, a stern talking to does the trick with him. He may not like it, he may cry his little eyes out, but he’ll behave himself.

The Bean? Not so much.

I never had to tell Scorch not to eat the snow off the bottom of his boots when we’re driving someplace.

Scorch never shimmed under the baby gate to get into the cat’s room, opened a bag of dirty cat litter and ran his hands all through it. (still gagging over that one)

Scorch never ran faster away from us when we yelled STOP in Target.

It’s a damn good thing that Scorch was born first otherwise there may not have been a second kid.

 

 

Jan24

Save Your Drama for Your Mama

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Some one evidently shared the saying in the title with Scorch the minute he exited the womb because he’s been doing just that from day 1.  My sweet little boy isn’t prone to temper tantrums or angry outbursts when he’s upset.  Nope, he channels all his feelings of anger and frustration into tears. Copious amounts of them.  I have to admit after his first bazillion tears were shed, they’ve pretty much lost their potency and I’ve become immune.

So Scorch pulled out a new weapon in his arsenal this past weekend.

You are the meanest Mom ever!
(this was after I wouldn’t let him watch a TV show because he had just finished watching a 90 minute movie. I think that’s enough TV time, right?)

This is the worst day ever. Of my whole entire life.
(This was after I  insisted he take a nap after he yawned his way through lunch. He proceeded to nap for 1.5 hours.)

You don’t love me. If you did, you would buy me a new Iron Man toy when you go to the grocery store!
(1. I never buy toys at the grocery store. and 2. When did it start becoming a rule that I had to bring him home a toy every time I left the house without him. Don’t think so, kiddo)

I have to say, the words hurt at first.  I panicked- holy cow, my kid thought I didn’t love him! But I do- I adore him, everything about him! Doesn’t he know that? What can I do to prove it?

But as the verbal onslaught continued I started to get really peeved. Seriously kid? This- this- is the worst day of your life? The day we visited friends, went to the library, had dinosaur shaped sandwiches and watched your favorite movie is your worst day ever all because I made you take a nap?!  I would have cried tears of gratitude if someone insisted I nap!

As for his insistence that I didn’t love him because I didn’t buy him a toy superhero? Let’s just say he’s damn lucky I didn’t share his birth story with him and flash him my stretch marks!  That would’ve shown him love.

*~*~*~

Thankfully Baby Lala is still too young to cause Red & TBO any grief like this.  The Peanut is 7 weeks old today- she would have been 35 weeks gestation had she stayed put. She’s up to a whopping 3 lbs 7 oz (almost 2 lbs over her birth weight)!  She’s off all breathing assistance- no CPAP, no nasal cannula, nada- and doing beautifully.

They are working on compressing her feeds.  Itty bitty preemies like her are fed 24/7 when they are first born, so the doctors are now trying to get her to a more normal newborn feeding schedule of only getting milk ever 2-3 hours.  She’s working really hard at taking 5 oz of breastmilk twice a day from a bottle instead of through her feeding tube. That still exhausts her- it’s hard working figuring out how to eat and breath at the same time!  Her brain bleeds are staying stable which is what the doctor’s expect- they won’t start going away for another week or so.

It’s amazing to get all this good news about Lala- hopefully she’ll be home within the next 5 weeks!

Jan19

Not Fit For Duty

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Today is one of those days where I wonder who in the world thought I was fit to be a parent? Honestly- when are these kids real adult parents coming to get them because clearly I’m not them.

Scorch had one of those epic bad days at school that only a 4 year old can have. First he was told by a classmate that he was doing things wrong because he was coloring outside the lines (But Mom, I was giving the bunny fur, it had to be outside the lines! Suzy didn’t believe me!). A classmate borrowing a marker and not returning it by the end of the day (*sob*It’s my favorite color! *sob*). But the real kicker was being told by a classmate whom Scorch considers to be one of his BFFs that the classmate was, in fact, not his friend.  That just sent Scorch over the edge.

This is a classmate whom Scorch has had issues on and off with all year and their friendship runs very hot or cold- they are either inseparable or this classmate, according to Scorch, wants nothing to do with him.  Scorch for the life of him cannot understand this.  And I’m at a loss to explain it.

We tell him that sometimes people have bad days and say or do rude things. We tell him that people can pick who they want to be friends with, but this classmate should not ever be mean to Scorch and if he is to tell a teacher.  We tell Scorch to find other friends to play with- there are 24 other kids in the class for goodness sake.  The teachers tell us how well liked Scorch is and how the other kids love playing with him, but Scorch keeps coming back to this kid like a moth to a flame.

I feel like I don’t know how to teach my little boy to stand up for himself and to not to put up with meanness.  Or how to teach Scorch to let things roll right off his back and not take them personally.  All we can keep doing is encouraging other friendships and keep talking to him over and over about what’s right and wrong and how he should expect kindness from others.  Sometimes that feels like enough. Other days, when I have a sobbing 4 year old sitting on my lap, it feels completely inadequate.

Edited: Just wanted to add that I’m not blaming Scorch’s classmate for all this.  That kid is a 4 year old too and 4 year olds have the right to chose their friends just like anyone else.  As long the kid isn’t rude or seeking out Scorch to be mean, I’m fine with them being, or not being, friends.  It’s more just me feeling badly that Scorch doesn’t have the coping skills to handle the on and off-ness of things.

Jan13

Hope Springs Enternal

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Mornings in our house have been a little rough lately. We’re two weeks out and my kids are still on their Christmas vacation schedule I guess.

This morning, The Hubs was up and out at 6 am so I was flying solo getting the kids ready to take Scorch to school.  He woke up at 6:10, so I let him watch a TV show to ease into things (and to give me a chance to get showered).  When the TV show was over, Scorch came to get me and the first words out of his mouth was “Can I watch a video?”  He loves to watch dinosaur documentaries on my computer whenever he can.

My answer was the same as it always is.  If he can eat, get dressed, brush his teeth & hair and get his boots on quickly enough then he can watch a video.  If he can’t, too bad so sad.  Scorch immediately bursts into tears.

“That’s not fair, you always let me watch one!” Ummm…no, I don’t, but thanks for trying.

He finally gets done eating and it’s time to get dressed.  “But I don’t want to get dressed right now!”  I tell him fine, but if he doesn’t want to get dressed he won’t have time to watch a video.  He chooses to play for 5 minutes instead of getting dressed.

Finally, we get him dressed, teeth brushed & hair combed.  Beaners is more or less presentable, so we put on our jackets and gather up our stuff. We have to leave a little bit early today because the roads are iffy so I’m trying to hustle them along.

“Wait- I didn’t get to watch a video yet!” Sorry dude- you didn’t get ready in time. You choose to play instead of getting dressed when you were supposed to and you ran out of time.

You would have thought I shot his dog.  The sobs. The tears. The runny nose.  Then…the threats.  “If you don’t let me watch a video right now, I’m never going to stop crying!” Buddy, I don’t negotiate with terrorists. Keep crying all you want as long we are out the door in 2 minutes.

At this point, Scorch yells at me “Put on a video right this second!!” You could see the look in his eye the minute he said it- he knew he had gone too far.  Thankfully all I had to do was give him the stink eye and he got his sobbing, snotty faced body outside to the car.  I told him I was sorry he couldn’t watch a video and that maybe tomorrow he could make better decisions. Then we had a quick talk about how his behavior- the crying, the threats, the yelling- was completely unacceptable.  Because his behavior was so unacceptable, there would be no videos on the computer the whole rest of the day.  He’s not at all happy but after a minute or two, he pulls himself together.

Wonderful- finally, blessed silence.

Then Scorch pipes up from the backseat of the car, “Since you didn’t let us watch a video, can we watch a movie in the car?”

Head thunk.

 

 

 

 

Jan12

Potty Mouth

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“Crap.”

Not a word I was expecting to hear out of Scorch’s mouth on the way to school today.  Not a word I expect to hear out of his mouth any day.

I asked him what he said and he repeated the word.  I told him that wasn’t a word we say and where did he hear it.

“School.”

I’m not surprised- Scorch goes to a great school but you can’t put him in a classroom with 25 other kids and expect them all to be angels.  So we talked about what the word means and how that word is unacceptable in our house.  He got it, so we moved right along.

******
As Scorch gets older, I’m starting to see more and more of the peer influence on him.  Wanting the Spiderman lunch box even though he has no idea who Spiderman is. Begging to watch Ironman at night- again, even though he doesn’t know who Ironman is or what he does.  Asking me if his hair looks cool in the morning on the way to school.  Wanting to see the movie the rest of the kids in his class are talking about.

At times, this peer pressure is terrifying to me. Other times, it’s hysterical. I mean, there is nothing funnier then when your 4.5 year old asks you in all seriousness if his hair looks cool as he’s preening in front of the mirror. First, it’s the same hair cut he’s had since he was 9 months old. Second, it’s hard to look cool in sneakers that light up ever time you take a step.

*******
The Hubs and I were talking earlier today about Scorch’s new vocabulary word. We’re both in agreement that “crap” is not appropriate for a 4 year old to say.  Too bad we weren’t smart enough not to discuss this in front of Beaner because guess who has a new favorite word?

 

Jan11

One Small Step

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We hit a minor milestone in our house today. Two of them actually!

First, the Bean started gymnastics today! This is the first thing she’s done that’s just hers- the first activity where she hasn’t been simply tagging after Scorch.  There aren’t many structured activities out there for 2 year olds in our little town so when I heard about a gymnastics class that basically fit into our schedule, I was signed her right up. She seemed to have loved the first class and it’s so much fun for me to see her explore and make new friends!

Secondly, because of the timing of Beaner’s class today, Scorch has to stay for lunch at school for the first time ever. He goes to preschool 5 half days a week and has been adamant that he does not want to stay for lunch- no way, no how. We have an amazing nanny that typically picks up him before lunch so he can eat at home with his sister and he likes that.  Any previous mentions of staying for lunch has ended up with him in tears, so I was a little nervous about this.  Yesterday I went out and got him a very cool Spiderman lunch bag and the Hubs and I talked up staying for lunch for a good week- how much fun it is! How he gets to talk to his friends! The chocolate milk  he can buy!

And you know what? He was a rock star today. Not a tear or a worry- off he went and he a blast.

I should be happy- and I am for the most part. I’m thrilled with Scorch’s bravery and independence. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little sad. Each time Scorch becomes more independent he’s that much closer to not needing us quite as much. To wanting to spend times with friends instead of parents. My baby is growing up- one small step at a time.