Prior to this school year, Scorch hasn’t shown a bit of interest in arts and crafts stuff. Sports, balls of any kind, slides and swings- yes. Crayons, chalk, paints- not so much.

So imagine my surprise when he starts drawing people on our driveway with chalk each morning when I’m loading the Bean in the car. A head, two eyes, hair, arms, hands (with 3 fingers), legs, feet (with 2 toes), nose and a smiling mouth. Perfect! Except that some of the people have also have an extra small line coming down from in-between their legs.

Being the clueless idiot I am, I asked him this morning what that extra line was for.

“It’s a penis- so you know who’s a boy.” he says to me.

“Oh. So the ones without that line are girls then?”

“Yeah- only I need you to teach me how to draw a vagina because I have no idea.”

I’m still laughing 12 hours later. 🙂

Scorch has always been a verbal kid- he talked early and often. There are times I wonder why we even bothered to teach him to talk since he never, ever takes a breath any more.

He told me the other day that since he’s 4 and in school now, he should be able to now say “bad words.” So far his list of bad words includes “stupid,” “dumb” and “holy shoot.” No dice as far as I’m concerned.

Honestly, I don’t have much of a problem with him telling me something is stupid or dumb- but I’m worried he’s not mature enough to get why he can’t use those same words to describe a person. As for “holy shoot,” he draws out the “sh” sound and it sounds alarmingly like he’s going to say “holy shit.” And that I’d have a big, big problem with.

Thankfully now, the worst word that comes out of Bean’s mouth is “no.” I have a feeling that child will be a bit more creative in her choice of language when the time comes. 😉

Dear Scorch-

One week from tomorrow you start school again!

Thank. God.

You’re only going 5 half-days a week, but you need to get back to school. Last year you only went 3 half days a week and you loved it. And man, did you just explode academically and socially!  This summer you missed your friends, you missed playing with them and I think you even missed learning.  I told us how bored you were at least once a day every day this summer.  Good times.

Last night we went to an Ice Cream Social at your school and got to meet your new teacher. She seems wonderful as does her full time assistant! You’re in the same class as your BFF so you are thrilled!

Me? Well, I’m a little worried. See, there are 26 kids in your class. Twenty. Six.  That is a lot of 4 year olds- especially since 16 of you are boys.  Your teacher is either going to be batshitcrazy by the end of the year or eligible for sainthood.

I’m trying not to let the number of kids in your class stress me out too much. But I’m a mom, stressing out over you and Bean is what I do best.  Will you get enough attention? Will you be OK socially with that many kids? Last year your class had 18 kids- only 5 of which were boys. Watching you navigate THAT stressed me out- add in 8 more kids and triple the amount of boys and I may have a nervous breakdown. What if you struggle this year academically- will the amount of kids in the class hinder you from getting the help you need?

I may or may not have been up at 2 am googling classroom teacher to student ratios and thoughts on class size because I couldn’t sleep.

But, I love your school. I love the community there. So I’m willing to give this a go and see how things turn out. I have faith in this school and, more importantly, I have faith in you. You’re going to rock this school year, little boy.

Love,

Mom (who is very tired today)