Earlier today, Scorch told me that men can’t have babies because they are missing a very important body part where babies grow. That organ is called the Eucharist.
Close kid, so very, very close.
Nov14
Nov13
Free Time Gone Wild
Do you want to know how you know you have too much time on your hands? When you spend a good chunk of your day 1) washing down the outside of your fridge with a Magic Eraser sponge, 2) rearranging all the magnets on said fridge all so you can 3) hang the 4 documents you created- Family Rules, Family Consequence, Scorch’s Chore Chart and Bean’s Chore Chart- just so on the fridge. All documents are color coded, of course.
Gag me. Next thing you know, I’ll be whipping up some project I saw on Pintrest.
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In all seriousness, the documents I created were a long time coming. The kids have been a tad bit challenging lately. Typical kid stuff- that is, if your kids spoke a completely different language than you and they came from Opposite World. The only way lately to get their attention was to YELL loudly and repeatedly (after already repeating myself 10 times at normal volume) and that’s not a fun environment for anyone. Growing up, I babysat for a family where the mom was a yell’er- she could be heard all throughout the neighborhood and her kids completely tuned her out. I was having flashbacks and realizing I was becoming her so something had to give and the documents were born.
Really, there is *nothing* earth shattering on any of them. The rules are basic, the consequences expected and the chores typical little kids stuff. But so far, so good. Instead of being the bad guy, I can point to the rules. When I dole out immediate consequences instead of yelling myself horse, the kids can’t say they haven’t been warned. And they both have a list of things they are expected to do each and every day. I don’t know if the kids were blinded by the sparkling fridge or impressed by the charts, but tonight was by far one of our calmer nights. Whatever it was, here’s hoping it continues to work!
Nov11
The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month
As anyone who’s been following this blog for the past 6 months, it’s no exaggeration to say that my family has been going through a series of mini-crises. The Hubs’s was ill this summer with mono and the flu. The wind upended our patio table and shattered glass everywhere. The dog locked herself in the bathroom during a storm when we weren’t home and tried to eat her way out through the wall. A tree fell on our shed, demolishing everything inside it. And then I got laid off from my job of 13 years.
And you know what? I still have it good. My life is a good- no, great- one despite this rash of bad luck. And I owe a portion of my good life to the men and women of the Armed Service. Their courage, sacrifice and dedication have let me and every other American live a safe life- a life full of possibilities and pride.
Today is Veterans Day. This day marks the end of WWI in 1918 and was created as a holiday to remember and honor all those who served in the military. In 2012, there were 21.2 million vets living in America and over 2.5 million of those served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Of that 2.5 million, over 37,000 have been deployed overseas more than 5 times and over 400,000 have been deployed more than 3 times. Think about those numbers for a second. Makes my problems seem pretty insignificant in comparison doesn’t it?
The good news is that modern medicine and battlefield triage have advanced so much that, proportionally, more of the men and women are coming home than ever before. But not all are coming back in the same shape they left. An estimated 51,000+ service men and women sustained physical injuries in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and an estimated 320,000 have sustained Traumatic Brain Injury.
Those figures are staggering, aren’t they? I share them with you so you know exactly who to thank and why this Nov. 11th. If you feel the need to do something based on these figures, check out the Wounded Warrior Project– they do outstanding work helping injured service men and women live a productive, independent life. Looking for a new hero? Check out Taylor Morris– one of five people who have survived a quadruple amputation. Life as he knew it ended at age 23 when he stepped on a bomb- and yet he kept pushing and now drives, skis, kayak’s and snorkels.
It’s really easy to get bogged down with the stress of every day life, but today I hope we can all step outside of our daily drama and realize just how good we have it thanks to our Vets.
Nov4
Are You There God, It’s Me…
You know how before you had your kids, you totally knew what kind of parent you were going to be? I knew, for example, that I was going to be that mom that was cool and laid back about all my kids questions. No matter what the subject, I was going to answer my kids honestly and openly and create a really good dialogue so my kids felt listened to and were well educated.
Yeah. Then I had kids and now I lie to them all the time because MY GOD- what did you just ask me?!
My kids have skirted around the issue of where babies come from. So far most of their questions about baby making have been so vague I can easily avoid giving them the (age appropriate) details. However, they do know how babies are born– a process which Bean thinks is disgusting and awful. So I shouldn’t have been surprised the other day when she asked me how a lady could make sure she didn’t have a baby.
I admit- I froze. What in the holy hell do I tell her? She doesn’t know where babies come from, so obviously discussions about abstinence and birth control weren’t even remotely possible. So I did what I do best- I lied. I told her that if a lady doesn’t want to have a baby, she just has to tell God 3 times very seriously that she doesn’t want to be a mom and God will take care of the rest.
Her response? “Well, I’m going to tell God 100 times that I don’t want want to be a mom because I really don’t want to have a kid. Ever.”I’ve heard her whispering her prayer every single night, reminding God that she doesn’t want to be a mom.
My kids are so screwed having me as their primary source of information, aren’t they?!
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In all seriousness- anyone know of any good birds and the bees books I can have on hand for when I have to actually share the truth with the kids?
Nov3
This, That & a Minor Miracle
When I thought about being unemployed one of the things that freaked me out the most was thinking I’d have eons of free time to fill up. I could very easily go the way of the sloth and do nothing but read all day and I was worried that I’d do just that. Turns out, I have nothing to worry about because so far I’m finding being unemployed has made my schedule a 1000x crazier then it was before. Before, I had a set schedule that varied little from day to day. I knew what I was doing at any given hour during the day and there was comfort in that routine. Now there is no routine and I’m flying by the seat of my pants, yet my days are booked between meetings about freelance work, PTA meetings, meetings with my CPA, meeting with a financial adviser about what to do with my 401K and random interviews. And when I’m not doing that, I’m cleaning my house- only to have the kids wreck it in 0.007 seconds after they get home.
And frankly this lack of a routine is making me crazy.
This is the week I start my part time job, find out more about one of the freelance jobs I’m doing and find out if I got a full time job I interviewed for last week. So by the end of this week I’ll have some idea of what my new schedule will be even if it kills me, so help me God.
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Halloween this year was amazing. Good lord, as crazy as 5 and 7 can make me, they are the best ages in so many ways. This year my kids were beyond excited about Halloween- they both completely got into the spirit and were old enough not to be exhausted and miserable by the end of the night. We went to a friends house for dinner, then 6 couples with 13 kids total hit the road and did the trick or treating thing. The oldest kids were 7, the youngest was 13 months old and they all rocked it with a lot of laughs, good manners and down right giddiness over the good candy. Scorch was Harry Potter and the Bean was the Red Power Ranger and part of me wanted to freeze them right then and there at this age so they’ll always be this happy and excited.
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Scorch had his first sleepover at a friends house this past weekend. I admit, I was nervous that I was going to have to head out at 11 pm to pick him up. He was at one of my best friend’s homes with people who love him dearly and he knows well, but still, I didn’t think he’d last the night. When I went to bed, I had both phones right by my pillow so I could grab them when the phone call inevitably came during the night.
But it never came- the sleepover was a complete success!
Such a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but a HUGE testament to how far Scorch has come. If you had told me 2 years ago when Scorch’s anxiety started that he’d spend the night somewhere other then our house or his grandparents, I would have called you crazy. We were lucky enough to get that child to sleep in his own house at that point in time- and when we did, sleep typically happened after hours of trying and usually didn’t last all night thanks to nightmares. Yet here he was, spending the night at a friends without any issues. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again- getting Scorch therapy was *the* best thing we’ve ever done for him and watching him live a completely normal, ordinary life as a result is a miracle.
Oct27
Life with the Bean
Life with the Bean has been a bit more challenging than usual lately. That child has always known her own mind and has never been shy about voicing her thoughts – even when those thoughts are better left in her head. Fun thoughts like “I wish I had a different Mom” and “You’re the worst brother EVER!”. Obviously there are consequences and we repeat ad nauseam “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But really, holding her tongue is something that’s only going to come with age and maturity.
As madding as it can be, sometime that child comes out with a gem.
Earlier today the Hubs realized that the railing on our stairs was loose because our little monkeys like to hang from it. So he came upstairs where we were reading and says to the kids, “If this railing falls out of the wall because you two keep hanging from it, I’m going make you sleep outside with the animals!”
Beaner looks up from her book, calmly says “That’s a consequence I can live with. I love animals.” and kept on reading.
The Hubs had to go outside to stop from laughing in her face.
She may drive me to drink, but I adore that kid.
Oct25
Over & Done With
Today was the day- my 13 year career at the Big Company has come to an end.
And you know what? Today I feel relieved.
For the past month, this is all I could think and talk about. At work, at home, with friends and with family- it was The Topic of Conversation. And I was dreading today. I was dreading handing over a project I care very much about to people I didn’t know. I was dreading saying goodbye to coworkers who’ve become friends. I was (and still am, to be honest) dreading life without my reliable paycheck. I was dreading a huge stretch of down time, wondering what I was going to do with myself. But by today, I was just ready to end this chapter and move on.
My manager drove 7 hours up from VA to take me to lunch today- which is about as classy as you can get and I’m touched by her kindness. I was worried it was going to be awkward, but it wasn’t. We had a good meal, some good laughs and a few tears. I don’t hold her responsible for this- I know how things work as I’ve had to be that manager in the past. When our meal was over, I handed her my computer and my ID and that was that. Done. Finished. Over.
To mark the occasion, I took the kids out to a fundraiser at a local Frozen Yogurt place, grabbed a pizza and watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkabain with my family. I got an email this afternoon offering me a part time job doing something I think I’m going to enjoy very, very much. Between that and a few freelance gigs I’m hoping to get, I’m going to be just fine. I’m starting to see this as the kick out of my comfort zone that I may have needed for a long time.
So here’s to the adventure in store, the financial uncertainty that will keep me up at night and the endless applications that’ll cause me to pull my hair out- all of which, I’m sure, will take me exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Oct21
This, That & Seamus
So hi. Been what- 6 days now? Amazing how fast time goes by, isn’t it? Wishing I had something super exciting to share, but I don’t, really. So…here are some snippets of what’s shaking.
The interviews last week went well. The first one lasted all of 3 minutes when the recruiter informed me that they were looking for someone who lived in Boston. That’s clearly not me. The second interview was with the HR recruiter for a job I very much want and that went amazing! We clicked, the mutual interest was there and I was on Cloud Nine when she immediately scheduled a follow up for me for the next day with the hiring manager. That interview was much harder to read although I was very pleased with how I did. So I’m waiting to hear if I’m still in the running there. The third interview was for a local job that went so well that I left there very disappointed that it was only part time and not terribly high paying. I’m really hoping I get that job- if nothing else, I’ll love it and it’ll get me out of the house once I roll off my job at the end of the week!
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Yup, I roll off my job this week. Still trying to figure out how I feel about that besides panicked for the poor guys taking over for me. Which I know is crazy to feel given the circumstances, but I do.
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Meet Seamus!
Scorch decided a while back he wanted his very own pet – because evidently the 2 cats and the dog weren’t enough for him. First he wanted a snake. That got a big Hell No from us. Then he wanted a lizard- also a no go. Hamster? Also not happening thanks to a 4th grade birthday party that scared me for life. Then he suggested a gold fish. Hmmm…maybe. But with the short life span and the cleaning of the bowl, that sounded like a giant PITA too. So the Hubs suggested a hermit crab- with the stipulation Scorch had to pay for it himself. Since we don’t give him an allowance and it was months from any holiday or his birthday, we figured we were safe.
Yeah- that little kid had $26 in change saved up in under 2 months from scrounging around everywhere. I kid you not when I tell you Scorch walked around any time we were in public with his eyes glued to the ground hoping to find lost change. And he did it- he kept at it and saved enough. So two weeks ago, we went to the pet shop and Scorch bought his very own pet with his very own money! While a hermit crab isn’t my first (or even 10th) choice of a pet, Seamus is quiet, clean and low maintenance. I guess we could have done worse!
And, sadly, that’s the most exciting news I’ve had to share all week!
Oct15
Head Space
The weird thing about being told that I’m getting laid off, but then having 30 days left to work is that nothing’s changed. Except everything has. My routine is still the same- I get up, I work out, I get my kids ready for school, I work for 8+ hours, tend to the kids/homework/dinner/bedtime, have a few hours to kill (now spent searching for a new job) and go to bed. There is no huge yawning expanse of free time yet- if anything, the to-do list is a thousand times longer than it was a month ago as I update my resume, post it, search for jobs, reach out to contacts, finish up all the documentation to hand off to the people taking over bits and pieces of my job, make sure our finances are in order, figure out where we can cut out expenses and on and on and on… all with the low level vibration in my head, this sense of never-ending urgency pounding in my chest.
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It feels odd to talk about my job loss. But it’s all I think about. Not so much the loss of the job I have (had?), although there is some mourning there. More in terms of what it means for the future, how it will affect us all and when I’ll find another job. It’s scary because I’ve worked since I was 15- I’ve never not had a job in the past 20 years. I worked at a golf course, at Victoria’s Secret, at a warehouse on my college campus, at IBM and this horrible start up right out of college. Then I got my current (former?) job when I was 22 and here I still am (was?). I did a lot of fun, fun projects at this job and I met some of the most incredible, inspiring, giving people. Even when I didn’t much enjoy what I did, I still enjoyed going to work because of my coworkers. Them, I’ll miss.
But I don’t feel like I’m losing my identity (one of the things the online brochure said I may feel after my lay off) because I’m so much more than my job. My job allowed me to live the life I wanted to live- one with a stable home and vacations and a wonderful, loving school for my kids. We don’t live extravagantly, but we live(d) well. I’ll miss that sense of security.
But I feel dumb talking about this like it’s some big tragedy. I’m not battling a disease, no one’s safety is at stake, my kids are still happy. my husband is supportive and we’re not about to lose our home or car or even cable TV over this. But some days it’s all I can talk about. It bleeds into every conversation whether it’s due to concerned friends asking how I’m doing or me having to explain to the kids why going to the indoor waterpark at $35/person on our day off isn’t in the budget anymore. It’s this weird head space of wanting to think/pretend everything’s normal while knowing it’s not and that you’re fooling yourself because you can’t even think about going out to dinner without have an internal panic attack thinking about the cost. It’s an odd, odd way to live.
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I have 3 interviews over the next 3 days. I’ll take any good wishes & prayers I can get!
Oct13
A New Favorite
While I’ve been on a bit of a reading slump lately (as in nothing’s holding my attention), the kids and I read the best book today called Dozens of Cousins by Shutta Crum. It took me a few pages to find the cadence because some passages rhyme and some don’t, but once I got my groove, I fell in love. It’s a book about a pack of cousins (collectively called the beasties) at a family reunion for the day and the mischief they cause.
By the time that coals are all that’s left to glitter,
we’re adrift in the murmuring river of adults.
Our bare feet drag through the settling dew.
We claw our way onto laps, steal hugs,
and snatch at splashes of song.
Oh, we are weary ogres!
We float, munching on tasty words
that well up in stories,
and on the soft lapping of laughter.
Ahhhh, tender beastie food.
The kids and I had to stop and talk about what some of the pages were saying, like the one above, but once they got it you could see their eyes light up. It reminded me of the fun you can have only with the people who you’ve known your whole life. If you’re looking for a lovely, funny story about extended family, this is it.
