I read a blog post earlier this week that’s been nagging at me.  I encourage you to read it for yourself, but a very simplified summary is that the authors son’s (who is a little younger then Scorch) was having some behavioral issues.  He wasn’t being bad, he was just acting out and just simply not himself.  His mom tried to figure out what in the world was causing his behavior- especially his need to constantly have a cup of milk- but she was stumped until a friend pointed out that these behaviors were all just little cries for his mom’s attention. Every time he was asking for more milk, he was really asking for more of his mom’s time.

That hit home for me.

This summer has been a challenging one with the Hubs gone for most of it.  That was a huge transition for us all.  But now the Hubs is home and while that’s great, it’s another transition getting use to being a family of 4 again.  The kids know that when they start school in 2 short weeks, our wonderful nanny is going to another job and that is another major upheaval in their lives.  And all these changes are wearing on my kids and showing in their behavior.

They are quicker to snap at each other. Quicker to taunt one another.  Faster to lose their tempers or start to cry. Scorch especially doesn’t hesitate to say something out of the blue that he knows will get him in trouble and it’s been making me batty.

The answer is obvious- my kids need more attention, more stability and a stronger parental presence during this crazy time. But instead of giving them that, I’ve been doing my best to keep the peace with too much electronic entertainment so I can get a minute of quiet and a break from the arguing.  And by doing that, all I’m doing is making things worse.  So this week I’m trying to make a conscience effort to put my book down more often, to engage my kids in what ever I’m doing and to simply be more present when we have down time.  My kids deserve a full cup and it’s up to the Hubs and I give one to them.

Talk to me about how you feel about your kids being physical with each other because we’re dealing with that a lot round these parts lately.

I fall into the camp that as long as no one is hitting/kicking/shoving/whatever out of anger or malice, I’m going to let the kids play.  I keep an eye on them and I intervene before I think things are going to get out of hand, but pushing/shoving/accidental hitting is, in my opinion, just part of having a sibling.  As long as the potential for serious injury isn’t likely and neither of the kids are objecting, I’m OK with wrestling or jumping next to each other.

The Hubs feels that the kids need to keep their hands to themselves and likes to keep rough housing to a minimum because he worries (rightly so) that things can go from fun playing to an injury in no time flat.  I may see that as a hazard of having a sibling, but he sees that as completely avoidable.

I certainly don’t want to see my kids get hurt and unsolicited hitting (*ahem* Beam) and being way too rough because you’re angry (*ahem* Scorch) isn’t tolerated and both kids know that.  But roughhousing? Have at it and don’t bother me unless you’re bleeding or your eye is hanging out.

So where do you fall on the spectrum?