Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Jun17

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Sometimes on Monday (or any other day, for that matter), all I’m good for is thought fragments. Today is one of those days:

> I sent Beaner to school today wearing: leggings, a skirt, a sleeveless Hawaiian print dress over her skirt (so you could only see like 1/2 of the skirt) and a cream colored crocheted sweater that went down to her knees (covering her dress and skirt), two braids in her hair AND a sparkly purple headband. And it wasn’t even wacky dress day- it was just how she chose to dress herself.

> For almost 7 months now, the Bean has been asking to color her hair. She 1) is four and 2) goes to a private school, so I said no. But I did agree that when school was over (this week), she could put a few color streaks in her hair (done via our hairdresser).  Nothing obnoxious- it comes out in about 10 washes and it won’t damage her hair at all.  Like many things, I swear I told the Hubs about this, but he says this week is the first he’s hearing about it and he’s throwing a fit.  He and I have very different philosophies- I say hair can always grow back/be changed, he says says I’m setting the Bean up for a life time of delinquency. We’ll see who wins this one.

> This morning, as I’m looking down our stairs at my dog, she looked right back up at me and promptly peed on our landing, all over the Bean’s boots. After calling her a few bad names, I put her outside, cleaned up and went to the vet for a few vials to collect her urine in tomorrow morning. I need a dog with a UTI like I need a hole in the head.

> Scorch has decided to start keeping a diary/journal.  If we needed more proof that he was my kid, there you go.

> He’s also started sneaking in extra time to read. I had to explain to him last night that if he was going to read after lights out, he at least had to stop laughing his butt off at Bad Kitty so loudly because that’s a dead giveaway.

> It’s officially driveway chalk season- which may be my favorite season of all.

Please note the realistic depiction of some of the Power Rangers in the top right, as well as her writing skills!

Please note the realistic depiction of some of the Power Rangers in the top right, as well as her writing skills!

Jun16

Happy Father’s Day

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I grew up with a father who was (is) very active in our lives.  He coached, he cheered, he helped with homework. He worked crazy shifts as a police officer and took extra jobs just to make sure he got to spend time with us when it counted most. Growing up, I just assumed that was what parents did.  As an adult, I know that’s not the case- those were decisions he made for us. And I’m so thankful he did.

I grew up knowing my father would always be there for me. He was the yard stick by which all other men in my life were measured and frankly, with the bar set so high, it’s a miracle I got married at all.  It’s no surprise at all that he’s a fantastic Papa to my  kids- involved, loving and patient. He gave Scorch his nickname and continues to be the Bean’s favorite person in the world.  Happy, happy Father’s Day, Dad!!

~*~*

When I said yes to the Hub’s proposal, I knew we both wanted kids. I just didn’t know the details- like how long it would take us and what kind of parent the Hubs would be.  Thankfully we all got lucky because we got our kids and the Hub’s is an amazing father. Spend 5 minutes with my kids and that’s apparent. Like my Dad and my father-in-law, the Hubs sacrifices, coaches, cheers and cares. He works crazy hours doing one of the toughest jobs on the earth, but when he comes home he’s Dad no matter what type of day he’s had. The kids and I are lucky to have him- and I hope he always knows that. Happy Father’s Day to one of the best men I know!

 

ReadingTime

~*~*

And a very happy Father’s Day to the rest of the dads in our lives- our uncles, cousins, friends and family!

Jun11

Keeping Him In Check

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There is a lot I worry about when it comes to my kids. I mean, come on- the list is endless when you’re a parent.  I worry about everything from the really serious- illness! drowning! kidnapping!*- to the mundane- sunscreen, bug bites & hurt feelings.  But the one thing I never, ever have to worry about when it comes to Scorch is his ego getting too big thanks to his sister.

Earlier this morning, the kids were getting dressed. They get dressed every morning in the living room (a legacy from when they were too little to dress themselves and I had to keep them corralled).  Today Scorch didn’t have to wear his uniform to school so he was dressing in casual clothes- in this case, a new t-shirt he got for his birthday. Scorch says to Bean: “Did you know my t-shirt says “Mom’s #1 Guy” on it?”  And without missing a beat, Beaner goes: “Did you know I can see your penis? You should cover that up.”  I choked on my tooth paste, I laughed so hard.

Jun5

End of Year Crazies

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Is it wrong that the last things my kids hear before bed every night is “Good night, I love you & I don’t want to see you again until morning.”? Because 9 nights out of 10, that is what they hear.  Here’s hoping their health insurance as adults covers therapy.

~*~*~

I forgot about the particular brand of crazy the end of the school year brings for the kids. They have about 2 more weeks of school left (!?!?!?!) and it seems like there is some special event every other day gearing up to it- parades! concerts! art shows! field trips! and the list goes on and on. They are having a blast and we’re so very thankful for the  amazing year both kids had, but all this excitement makes for hyped up, slightly anxious, entirely exhausted kids at home.

All I have to say right now is thank God for sports that keep them busy, early bedtimes and lilacs (because I really love lilacs).

lilac

Jun2

Books, Books, Glorious Books

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Last week,  before the Plague hit, Scorch and I finished reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I didn’t want him reading the Harry Potter books this young- but many of his friends were and he begged for months before I finally gave in.  We went slow- just 3 or 4 pages a night- and he loved them. He begged to read them on his own* because he couldn’t stand how slow we were going but since we were reading on the Nook, I got to dictate the pace.  As we got close to the end, I got him his own paperback copy of the book and we used that for the final 3 chapters.  When we read the last chapter, I admit, I got choked up.  I mean the part with Neville getting the final points for Gryffendor always gets me, but the fact that I was sitting there, reading one of my favorite books, with my kid who was cheering out loud during the whole thing just put me over the edge.  If I haven’t it said it before, let me say it again, books are awesome (and the  kid isn’t half bad either!).

Since HP has been taking up a lot of our time, we’ve haven’t read many other books lately with the kiddos, but here are a few that we’ve loved recently:

> The Diary of a Wombat books are precious! The are sweet and funny and beautifully drawn- we love them all!

> We just read a new-to-us Mo Williems books tonight (Should I Share My Ice Cream with Gerald and Piggie- our favorites!) and we loved it. Heck, we love all his books.

> Please, Puppy, Please may be one of our all time favorite, sweetest books ever. Seriously- the illustrations will get you as will the lovely, simple story about kids and their puppy.

As for me, I seem to be in a reading drought. I’m reading a lot- but nothing is really grabbing me.  I’m up for any recommendations you may have, please!

 

 

*I wouldn’t let him, which I think earns me a seat in hell because that’s some grade-A torture for him right there!

May30

The Silver Lining

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So all my praying in my post from Monday did the trick that night, but come Tuesday no prayer in the world was keeping The Bug from spreading to Scorch and me. I got a call at 2:50 saying Scorch had gotten sick at school right at the end of the day.  And that’s awful and part of me felt so badly for him, but the other part? Well that part was actually really, really happy.  The root of 99% of Scorch’s anxiety is getting sick- I mean he can’t imagine much worse than that. Except for getting sick at school. That’s like the fear-flavored cherry on his anxiety sundae (just go with that metaphor).  I’ve joked with his therapist for the past year that maybe he just needs to get sick at school and live through it to see that it’s not that bad.  And that’s what happened on Tuesday. He went to the nurse’s office, got sick and went home. The world didn’t end. His head didn’t explode. And when he went back to school today no one made fun of him or ostracized him- it was just life as usual.  I may have actually given his therapist a high five today and danced a little jig in her office this afternoon because I was so freaking proud of my kid!

And that? That just about makes up for the 12 hours I spent sleeping on the bathroom floor when The Bug finally took me down too.

May27

The Only Child

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Scorch was, more or less, the only child for the past 48 hours.  Saturday afternoon we shipped the Bean off to my parents so she could spend time with her cousin, Lala. Sunday we went down to my parents in the afternoon for big BBQ where there were 8 kids running around and then last night, the Bean got up every hour for 12+ hours sick with the stomach bug so she more or less slept the day away today.

I was really worried about Scorch during this time. My two are as thick as thieves and I wasn’t sure how he was going to do without his side kick around. Yeah- turned out I shouldn’t have worried. “Mom- this is awesome. There is no one around annoying me AND I don’t have to share a thing.”  Ahh- every 7 year old’s dream.

But y’all- having an only child who isn’t used to being an only is exhausting. The Hubs got the stomach bug too, so it was just the boy and I today trying to avoid as many germs as we could. We played baseball, lacrosse, basketball, lacrosse, more baseball, went to the park, walked through a creek, got ice cream, played more baseball and lacrosse, read multiple chapters in Harry Potter and watched at least 4 episodes of Wizards of Waverly Place. And it was awesome- this kid of mine is an absolute blast, funny as can be and a complete joy 95% of the time (don’t ask about the other 5%)- but boy is he busy!

So now it’s 8:15 and everyone in my house is sleeping. I’m praying the Hubs and the Bean are over this and I’m praying even more that Scorch and I are spared because the last night I need right now is a 12 hour stomach bug. Fingers crossed we all stay healthy…

May21

Giving to Moore

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The kids both had baseball games tonight in two different places. I took the Bean to her game and the Hubs took Scorch to his. About 20 minutes into the game a siren went off warning us of impending bad weather and we were told to clear the fields immediately and to head to our  cars.  Now, living in NY, our severe weather is nothing like we’ve seen out of the mid-west but after seeing the footage out of OK from yesterday, my first reaction was to scoop up the Bean and run for our car as fast as I could.  It was this immediate, irrational panic- and even that was only a fraction of what those in Moore must have felt.  I’m both horrified and drawn to all the news coverage out of OK- my hearts and prayers are with all those family affected.

I’m sure you know about all the ways to help those affected by the recent storms, but if not, here’s a great list of ways you can make a difference.

May14

Birthday Wishes

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Dear Scorch-

Happy, happy birthday! I say this every year, but it boggles my mind that you’re turning 7.  7 is half way to 14 and a third of the way to 21 and that right there makes my head explode. Those ages seem so far away, but look how fast the past 7 years have gone! Sometimes I worry that if I blink, I’m going to miss something.

I’m sure I told you this before, but when I was pregnant with you I was convinced I was having a girl.  I don’t know why- but I was sure. And then you were born. And when the doctor told me it was a boy, I was disappointed- there was a pang in my heart and a lifetime of pink and bows and girl talk flashed before my eyes.  But then I saw you and in an instant all that disappointment was gone. I wouldn’t have cared if you were half donkey at that point- you were mine and I was yours and that was all that mattered.  And that is all that has mattered these past 7 years.

When you were younger, your Dad and I thought for sure we had you pegged. When you grew up, you were going to be a sports announcer. Or a paleontologist. Or a fireman. Now, we don’t have a clue. And that’s awesome. While I do miss the baby you were, I’m so stinking excited to see where life takes you. You’re curious about everything and you read book about everything from Star Wars to bird watching. You want to know more and more about what you hear in the news or read on the magazine covers in the check out line of the grocery store.  You want to know how to spell everything and I saw your eyes light up last night when I explained to you that “quesadillas” starts with a “q” and not a “c” like it sounds. Who knows- maybe you’ll be a teacher or a linguist.

Six was an awesome year for you. You finished kindergarten and started 1st grade and you continued to thrive in school. You played Little League and football and discovered that you’re absolutely crazy about basketball. You fought Darth Maul and kicked his butt.  You battled your anxiety every damn day to keep moving forward and, even when it was hard and scary, you didn’t stop. You still wanted to hold my hand, but you worried about what your friends would think if they saw you still holding a stuffed animal.  You realized that you don’t need one best friend in the world and that you can be friends with everyone- so you are.  Walking through the school hallways with you is like walking with the Mayor as you’re greeted by everyone from the 3 year olds to 6th graders.  And all of that makes me so proud some days that I just want to burst.

But as much as I’d like to freeze time, I can’t and now you’re 7. And I can’t wait to see what 7 brings for you. Here is what I wish for you-
– I wish that you keep your kind heart. Right now you’re nice to everyone and I don’t ever want that to stop. I want you to have compassion and goodness and to hold on to those traits until you take your last breath.
– I wish that you find that fine line between being a rule follower and an a dare devil. I hope you realize what rules must be followed and which rules you can break and I hope you learn to embrace your adventurous side. As your mom, I always want to keep you safe and within the boundaries, but as a woman who’s lived almost 35 years, I know some of the most fun you’ll ever have is when you say “screw it” and hop off the beaten path.
– I wish you the strength to keep battling your anxiety so you can live life with as little fear as possible.
– I wish you the continued knowledge of your self.  To know that you’re a good, kind, smart boy who doesn’t need validation from your peers to love yourself. You. Are. Awesome.
– I wish that your relationship with your sister continues to be so close. I tell you guys this all the time, but you’re stuck with each other forever and that is one of the best gifts we could have ever given you. Trust me on that- even when she’s calling you a butt head and throwing your things in the back of the van just to piss you off- you’re lucky.
– I wish that you know that you’ll always have your father and my love. No matter what the reason- a failed test, a lost game, a friend hurt, a relationship lost- we’ll always love you, support you and be by your side. Promise.
– I wish that you keep using your manners with everyone. There is nothing that will serve you better in this life than your manners and your kindness. Be respectful to your elders and your friends. Pay attention when we talk to you about how to treat people and always, always tip well for good service. You will never, ever regret doing any of those things but you may regret it if you don’t.

Let’s face it, buddy- I wish you the world and I love you more than chocolate milk.  Have a happy, happy birthday!

May13

Acknowledging the Mundane

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I had this big long post written about Mother’s Day yesterday. Long paragraphs that I didn’t know how to wrap up, where to end. Mother’s Day has always been such a mixed bag for me- on one hand you have the Mother’s Day where I turned into a sobbing mess in the mall because we just had our 2nd miscarriage and I never, ever knew if I was going to be a mom.  Then you have the Mother’s Day 2 year later where Scorch was born.  Yes, on Mother’s Day. The irony wasn’t lost on me.  That Mother’s Day was simply the most amazing day ever- and it’s hard for any Mother’s Day after that to live up to that day.

I think we, as mothers, put this huge expectation on the day.  That we’ll sleep in, get breakfast in bed, that our kids will get along all day long and not a thing will ever go wrong as we spend a whole day focused on us.  But let’s face it, the reality never lives up. Babies need to be nursed, butts need to be wiped, food needs to get made, balls need to be caught, fights need to be broken up and nothing ever goes nearly as well as you hoped.

But you know that? That’s OK. That’s life- that is exactly the life I literally cried for in the food court that Mother’s Day 9 years go, warts and all.  Yup, the burgers were too well done and I did have to pull the Mother’s Day card on my kids yesterday as they fought in the car on the way to church (exact quote: “It is MOTHER’S DAY and you two will knock this off and not ruin the day for me, so help me God.” awesome.) and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  My family did a wonderful job making me feel special and even when things slid back towards the mundane- it was *my* mundane and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.