Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
May9

Saying Screw It & Soaking It Up

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Good lord, I love me some spring time. After a long, cold winter, I love seeing the green pop up, the temperatures rise and everything coming back to life.  Everything- including our schedule.  On any given week between now and the end of school we have 4 baseball games a week and a concert/therapy session/swim lessons/whatever. So basically we’ve moving and shaking 3-4 weeknights every week which is fun. But exhausting.  In order to work, pick up the kids, cook, eat, clean up, attend said event and get my kids to bed at a reasonable hour, our nights are scheduled down to the minute. Like, if I’m off by 5 minute from when I should have started dinner, instead of eating a home cooked meal, we’re getting McDonald’s drive through on the way to a game.  That’s fine every once in a while, but that’s not the way I want my kids to eat daily.

So what I’m saying is we’re busy.  Which makes it all that much sweeter when we say screw it (or, I say screw it, the kids don’t say that), throw the schedule out the window and just enjoy a beautiful day. Which is what we did today.  First, we made friends.  Well, the kids made friends. I stood 5 feet behind my kids and screamed at them not to put their fingers inside the fence because that swan was going to chomp them off (I loathe birds).

New_Friend

Then I let the kids play in the stream. Love, love, love that they are old enough that I don’t have to shadow their every move.  They are smart enough to not try to actively drown themselves and the worst thing that will happen is they get wet.

Streaming

The rain is supposed to start tomorrow and after 2+ weeks without it, we do need it. Knowing that it’s coming made soaking up the sunshine today all that more sweet.

treeoflife

May8

Dirty Girls Make for Filthy Women

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This past weekend, I had the time of my life when 5 friends and I drove about 2 hours to take part in a Dirty Girl Mud Run.  I had heard about this run last summer when some friends did it and it looked like a blast. Add in the fact that part of the money raised goes to breast cancer and basically you had the perfect excuse for a girl’s weekend.

So after months of planning everything from when we were going, where we were staying and what we were going to wear, we were off- dressed in our finest ’80-inspired fashions!  Our wave was at 11:30 in the morning so when we arrived the fun was in full swing. 2 DJs, a band and 8,000 runners alone on Saturday- it was a mad house in the best possible way.  Women of every age and shape were walking around sporting some awesome team t-shirts- Save 2nd Base, The Dirty DD’s, Mud, Sweat & Cheers- tutus, crazy socks and wacky headbands.  It was really, really impressive.

081

I had no idea what to expect from the actual run- was it going to be too hard? Too easy? How dirty were we going to get? Turns out, I worried for nothing.  There wasn’t much running at all- you simply couldn’t run over the terrain with that many people on our course. We ran when we could, but we walked about 95% of the 5K.  The obstacles were absolutely do-able- although I though 2 of them were difficult. I was very, very glad I had on leggings as your legs take a beating between all the climbing and crawling.

090

But we did them all. Even the most girl-y of us crawled in the mud pit and “swam” through the mud bath.

MudBath

As for getting dirty? Yeah- even if you skipped all the obstacles, you were still getting wet and muddy because our course had us walking thru a creek at least 4 times.  And if you chose to play, splash and throw the mud around? Well, you ended up looking like this:

MuddyShoes

When the fun was over, there were food and beer vendors, places to buy Dirty Girl merchandise and plenty of places to sit and relax. I seriously can’t recommend this enough- we’ve already signed up for 2014!

Muddyface

(that’s me- it took 3 showers to get all the dirt off!)

May1

Well, She Told Us!

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Scorch started talking early- and once he did, he took off. The boy was a whiz at talking in complete, clear sentences long before he should have been. The Bean, on the other hand, took a little bit longer to talk. And why shouldn’t she- she had Scorch to do all her talking for her. She still has this funny inflection (accent?) when she talks- “girls,” for example, is “gurls.” And “yellow” is “lellow.”  It’s freaking adorable and I never, ever want her to learn to say the words properly.

That said, I’m kinda thinking we should have never taught her to talk, period. Because girlfriend has mastered the fine art of ripping you a new one.  I’ll give you an example.

Two week ago, Bean got it in her head that she wanted to sleep in our bed. Now, we don’t let the kids sleep in our bed for a variety of reason- it’s reserved for illness and emergencies only. She knows this full well, but she got the idea in her stubborn little head that the only place she’d fall asleep that night was our bed and she wasn’t budging.  It was the Hub’s night to monitor bedtime, so I was in the other room eating a late dinner, eavesdropping on what was going on.

Hubs: I said, you’re sleeping in your own room. That’s nonnegotiable.

Bean: Oh yes it is! I said* I wanted to sleep in your room, so I’m going to sleep in your room. Period**.
(*you gotta really emphasis the “said” in your best “you’re-an-idiot-Dad” tone. **I may say “period” for emphasis a lot. She may have gotten that for me.)

Hubs: No, you’re not. In your room. Now. Goodnight! (he starts to walk out of the room)

Bean: Get back in here. We are not done talking! I told you what I wanted to do, so that is what I’m going to do.

Hubs: Excuse me? I said get into your room now and I wasn’t kidding.

Bean: Fine. But we are not done discussing this and we will talk tomorrow.

 

At this point, I’m laughing so hard in the other room that I’m crying.  But honestly, I don’t know if they really were tears of laughter or fear because we are royally, royally screwed when that child gets older.

Pray for us.

 

PS- wouldn’t change that sass pot for a million dollars. She may make us crazy, but man oh man- she is going to set the world on fire when she’s older!

Apr29

Home Again

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And it’s like I never left. Except that I did leave. And it was awesome. The conference was fantastic- I got to meet some of my long time colleagues, eat some truly wonderful food, dance to a band I’ve never heard of but were evidently famous in the 70s/80s, sleep in a gorgeous hotel room with huge ceilings, take a 2 hour tour of an incredible city, watch too many episodes of Grey’s Anatomy on NetFlix, read some very good books and meet some cool people on the plane. I came home energized and so enthused about what I do for a living.

GoldenGateBridge

And it was all really, really amazing and I’m so glad I went.  And when I got home, I was picked up at the airport and whisked off to baseball practice and just like that- BAM– I was back in my life. Except today, the Hubs made the kids lunches while I showered. And I was told numerous times by everyone how much they missed me.  And all that makes me think that I need to go away for a week a bit more often just to keep my family on their toes.

Apr24

I Left My Heart…

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Many, many months ago I signed up to come to a conference for work in San Francisco. Many, many months ago when I signed up, the conference seemed forever away- so long away, in fact, it didn’t seem real. But time did its thing and before I knew it, that conference that seemed so very far into the future was here.  And I, being the wuss that I am, started to get a little nervous. Not about the conference- I’m a conference geek. Small talk, learning new things, meeting new people- all of it makes me happy. No, I was nervous about that whole spending-5-days-across-the-country thing.

I mean- 5 days is a long time. I’ve never left my kids for 5 days and I’ve never been this far away.  Then you throw in the events of last week in Boston and all the news stories about the FAA furloughs that will result in major flight delays and my little bit of nerves turned into a whole bundle of nerves really quick.  But, I didn’t have a choice. I was committed.  So yesterday I made the trek cross country to San Francisco.

And I’m so very, very glad I did.  It’s a tough life having to sleep in a huge bed by myself with no children waking me up at 4 am.  It’s a hardship to eat meals while they’re hot and not have to share a bit.  And it’s horrible to have this gorgeous view from my window.

 

Today I spent the day taking a fascinating class, filling up 4 pages of paper with notes on things to do at my job when I get home.  Then I got to have dinner with wonderful people that I’ve got to work with for the past 2 years but have never met while looking out at this view:

Yup, I miss my family. And I’ll be dying to get home to them on Friday.  But for now, I’m just going to enjoy every second of this gorgeous city, my nerves be damned.

Apr14

The Fall

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So today we woke up and it was snowing.

And I cried.

The end.

Well, not really. I mean, I wanted to cry, but I didn’t because I kept repeating to myself “It won’t last. It won’t last.” And it didn’t- by late this afternoon the sun was out and the temps were almost in the 50s. So the kids and I went for a walk. We have this gorgeous little creek that borders our property that’s completely inaccessible in the summer and fall due to all the bushes and prickers. In years past, Bean was always too little to walk it, so this is our first year truly exploring it and we’re down there as much as possible since we know the window of time to enjoy  it is closing.

And we have a ball! The kids love seeing the fossils, playing in the water and hunting for signs of wildlife. Today, for example, we saw a snake. I didn’t scream and run away, abandoning my children, so clearly I win! That is, until I broke our favorite part about the whole thing.

See that cute little bridge, made out of the small tree trunks? Yeah- my kids love that damn thing. Scorch goes across it by himself and the Bean inches carefully across it, holding my hand.  The fall to the water isn’t that far- a foot, maybe 2- nor is the water deep, but the bridge offers up a fun thrill.  We crisscrossed it a few times today and, on our last time on the way home, one of the logs broke and the Bean and I took a dive into the water.  Thankfully she fell on me and while she got wet from the water splashing up on her, I got the brunt of it.  Neither one of us were hurt- just muddy and wet and laughing so hard we cried. Scorch didn’t think it was nearly as funny and he was downright ticked I wouldn’t let him get in the water with us.  I had to explain to him a few times that freezing night time temps + snow this morning + water= FREEZING.

Thankfully clothes wash, bodies warm up and hot chocolate fixes most everything- including the fact that I broke the stream.

Apr10

Dirty Magazines

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Now that Scorch has learned to read- and has become quite proficient at it- he’s reading everything. *Everything.*  Do you know how annoying that is?

We (I) subscribe to one magazine- Redbook.  It’s not a dirty magazine by any stretch, but now that I know my 6 year old reads it, it sure feels like it. Before, I used to read the magazine and see absolutely nothing that jumped out at me- it’s a great mix of fashion, makeup, advice, real life stories and recipes. But when I read it knowing there is a good chance Scorch is going to see it, all I see are the words  “sex” and “orgasm” and “tampons” jumping out on me from every stinking line*.  Every single ad seems like its got mostly naked people in it hawking everything from perfume to dish washing detergent.**  I honestly feel like I have to hide the magazine on the top shelf of the bathroom closest just to keep him from reading it.

Ah parenthood- that special time when you realize you really are a closet prude.

 

*They aren’t on every line.

**They aren’t.

Apr8

Diplomatic Relations

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When Scorch was 3, we enrolled him in pre-school. At the Open House a few weeks before school started, Scorch met  E and they’ve been best friends ever since. E and Scorch went to preschool together for 2 years before they went to different elementary schools for kindergarten. But thanks to small town living, it’s a rarity that the boys go longer than a week without seeing each other so their BFF status remains unchanged.  When Scorch started kindergarten, he met T, a new kid in his class.  So quickly Scorch had a school best friend (T) and another best friend (E) and all was well.

Well- all was well until E and T met through Scorch and then they became best friends too.  So over the past few months there has been lots of talk and tears and learning over what it means to be best friends with different people and how the dynamic sometimes changes when there are 3 little boys involved- each of whom are learning how to be good friends and have the maturity of a gnat.

This past weekend, Scorch had a playdate with E- just the two of them. And somehow they got on the topic of T and how sometimes it is hard to figure out who plays with who when the three of them get together.  E’s Mom told me that E got a little upset during the conversation, so he went up to his room and locked the everyone out, but that Scorch handled it just fine and was a good friend who got E smiling again before long.

On our drive home from the playdate, I complimented Scorch for being a good friend and for working hard to make E feel better.  Then I asked him what he did to get E smiling again.

Oh- it was easy! First, I went into his room, jumped into his dirty laundry basket, smelled his dirty clothes and told them they were delicious. Then I did a couple of arm farts and that did the trick.

So what I’m saying is, I think Pres. Obama may have a thing or two to learn from my kid when it comes to softening up the other side.

 

 

Apr7

Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Hi.

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Before I had kids, my friend Jo and I would frequently hit up a local walking trail with the dogs.  It was a great way to exercise and get all the latest gossip.  Well, Jo and I are now have two kids apiece- 3 of whom are all old enough to go for an easy hike.  So we threw her youngest into a carrier and took the other three out on the trail.  In my mind, I figured the older kids would run ahead and entertain themselves and Jo and I could get back to our gossiping ways.

Yeah, clearly I’ve never spent any time with my kids before ever.

The walking trail borders a few small lakes and streams. So I spent the whole 2.5 mile walk telling my kids- repeatedly, every 10 steps- why they couldn’t go in the water. Evidently the fact that part of the lakes/streams were still frozen wasn’t good enough.  Nor was the fact they had on sneakers, not rain boots, and if they got their feet wet they’d have to walk back in wet shoes.

All I could think about was this scene from the The Family Guy where the poor mom just wants one freaking minute alone. And it doesn’t happen.

I mean- come on. Would you want to go swimming in that water?! Crazy kids.

Mar28

Which One?

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The Bean picks out her PJs every night- which typically means she wears anything other than clothes that are meant to be slept in. Tonight she decided she wanted to wear yellow to bed, so she pulled out two yellow t-shirts- one with butterflies and one with flip flops on it.

Mom- which one should I wear to bed?

The one with the butterflies.

No, Mom- which one should I wear?

I said, I like the ones with the butterflies.

Mom, I said- which shirt should I wear?! (she’s clearly exasperated with me at this point judging by her “you’re such a dummy” attitude directed at me)

Umm, the one with the flip flops?

Great, I’ll wear that one!

Why did she even ask my opinion when clearly there was only one right answers?

~*~*~

I noted the other night how exhausted I was, thinking it was the early morning workouts taking their toll. Yeah, turned out I had strep throat. I didn’t even know adults could get that! Regardless, it completely kicked my butt and I have never been more thankful that my kids are older then I was yesterday as the Hubs was stuck at work and I couldn’t get out of bed.  My kids pulled together their own dinner, left me alone and even put themselves to bed when I told them to. It wasn’t pretty but we all managed and, thanks to the power of antibiotics, I woke up today feeling much, much better.