Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Jul16

On Saying Goodbye

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The Hubs grandfather is dying. He’s been sick for a few years now, but in these past few months, he’s quickly gone downhill and Hospice has said it won’t be long now. My kids are extraordinarily lucky that they have their great-grandparents in their lives- we see them multiple times a year, we’ve gone on vacations with them and their home is one of Scorch’s favorite places on earth.

The kids know that Gramps is very sick and that he’s going to die soon. As much as it hurts me and the Hubs, we try not to shy away from discussing this with them because I don’t feel like that helps a darn thing.  But knowing someone is going to die and then them actually doing so are very different when you’re 4 and 6.  I bought Maria Shriver’s What’s Heaven? book to read to the kids, but I’m wondering if anyone else has any suggestions, thoughts or words of wisdom?  We are religious and the kids go to a Catholic school so the topics of heaven, a soul and all that are somewhat familiar, if abstract, concepts to them.  At the end of the day, I want my kids to know that whatever they are feeling is perfectly fine and that death isn’t a horribly, scary thing.

I appreciate any advice!

Jul15

The Beach Life is the Best Life

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I love the beach.

And luckily I have a mother in law who loves the beach as much as I do- a very generous mother in law who takes us on vacation once a year as her Christmas gift to us. Best. Gift. Ever.  In years past, we’ve hit Sea Isle City, NJ, Brigantine, NJ, Kill Devil Hills, NC and Myrtle Beach. This year we went to Ocean City, NJ and it was awesome.  I was little worried driving in because that place is jam packed with homes- so many homes in the area we stayed at that there wasn’t room for anything else, including lawns (no joke).  Last year in Myrtle Beach it was so crowded that it made getting space on the beach a competition- and if you left your spot for longer then 30 minutes, people would move your chairs and blankets so they could move in. I wasn’t a huge fan and was worried we were doomed to repeat that.

Hahahahaha. Yeah- I had nothing to worry about. We managed just fine!

On vacation with us was my brother in law and his two boys- 8 and 6. Unfortunately my kids only get to see their cousins a few times a year since we live so far away from each other, so I always worry a bit about how everyone is going to get along. I should know better by now- every time they see each other it’s like they just hung out last week. Yes- they do have on matching rash guards. It made them much easier to keep track of!

The kids are at that perfect age where they are ton of fun at the beach- the waves! sand! digging! clams & fish! wiffle ball!- and they can basically entertain themselves 85% of the time. We obviously had to keep an eye on them and at least one (usually two) of us were in the water with them at all times (those waves were fierce!), but we all got to rest and relax.  The kids spent hours during the week digging up these critters. We called them crabs- I have no idea what they really were but they freaked me out. Thankfully the Bean didn’t share my aversion.

Our days consisted of getting up, having breakfast, being at the beach by 10:30, playing until 1, going back for lunch and some quiet time and heading out back to the beach until dinner time.  We did hit the boardwalk a few times- something the kids loved!  While it drained our wallets dry, it was a blast to ride the rides and munch on cotton candy and ice cream. Outside of the night we couldn’t find a trolley to take us home and ended up walking 20 blocks with 4 kids at 10 pm (I felt like little orphan Annie!), the boardwalk was a perfect slice of pure American cheese and tackiness!

So, there you have it- my excuse from being absent for so long.  Forgive me, please?

Jul6

Sass Pot

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I recently had two friends within a 24 hour period tell me how their children have never, ever told them they don’t like them. These same friends also told me they have no idea what they’d do if their kids ran away from them when they were in trouble- their kids wouldn’t do that.

Are you kidding me?!

I can’t decide if they are that much better of a parent then me (very possible), their kids are saints (also possible), I’m that sucktastic as a parent (possible, but I hope not really) or that the Bean is just that much of a sass pot (definitely).

This little girl is dishing it out in full force lately. The Hubs and I are partly to blame as this summer thus far as been a nonstop whirlwind of BBQs, late night fireworks, visits to near by lakes and fun times in the pool- on top of a full day of fun at camp.  All this adds up to equal late bedtimes and a tired kids.  I keep trying to get us back on track, but this gorgeous weather and good friends and family is making it very, very hard.

Today on the way home from camp, Beaner finally broke.  She started sobbing because the latex gloves the kind nurse at the dr’s office gave her yesterday didn’t fit her properly (no duh- they were adult larges).  Then she hit her brother when he tried to help. Then she screamed bloody murder because I wouldn’t pull over the car to help her. On and on it went on the 9 (torturous) minute drive home as Scorch and I tried to ignore her since she was past the point of reasoning.  When we got home, she immediately went in timeout for hitting Scorch- but she wouldn’t sit still. Her 4 minute timeout turned into 15 minutes because she wouldn’t sit where I told her to. She’s scotch her little buns while staring at me with her chin jutted out and her eyes flashing fire.

Finally, finally, she served her time properly so I went over to talk to her. We discussed why she was in timeout and I asked for an apology from her.  Her response? “Sorry, stupie!” with all the attitude she could muster.  Stupie– excuse me? I know darn well by her tone she was calling me stupid – but she swore up and down that Stupie was her new nickname for me.

Back to timeout she went- all the while muttering under her breath that she doesn’t like me at all.

*sigh* I wouldn’t trade that little ball of energy and sass for anything, but I wonder how I missed the line for compliant kids when I was pregnant.

Jul2

Best Birth Control Ever

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This weekend my sister and her husband dropped Lala off our at our house for a 24 hour visit so they could go to a wedding. Lala is 18 months old now and while she’s smaller then most kiddos her age, she’s pretty much spot on for all her developmental milestones. Fantastic for her, but it meant I had a full on toddler living at my house again for the weekend.

News flash- toddlers are a ton of work.

Don’t get me wrong- Lala is theeasiestkid ever. She didn’t cry or fuss, she went down for bed without a single peep and ate everything we put in front of her.  She was a dream child in every possible way.

But she is a toddler.

I forgot how many times in a day toddlers try to kill themselves. Lala walked into walls, she fell over (on her forehead) when trying to stand up and she had no qualms pulling the kitties tails (my kitties have nails, y’all) any chance she could get.  I thought my house was pretty much still baby proof- but I was wrong. And Lala found everything she shouldn’t have within her first hour here, which made the subsequent 23 hours a bit easier on my nerves.

Lala is a champion sleeper- I could only dream about my kids sleeping that good when they were smaller. Her sleep schedule includes two naps a day- a morning nap (9:30 ish) and  an afternoon nap (around 3ish).  All totally normal and expected- but I completely wiped out life structured around naps from my brain.  On a normal Saturday, the kids and I are usually out of the house between 9 – 10, going to the park or the library, then out to lunch and then grocery shopping. We get home around 2 and just keep going.  This Saturday with Lala needing a nap (even more so then usual because her little hiney was up at 6:15 along with my kids b/c I’m sure she didn’t want to miss a thing), we couldn’t go anywhere.  So we didn’t- which in one way was wonderful, but it also meant by 2:30 when we had to leave, the kids were climbing the walls.

I also realized how much of the good from toddlerhood I wiped out of my mind. The way a baby’s head fits in the crook of your elbow. The fun of trying to teach a kid a new word and hearing them get it.  Watching the intense concentration on a toddler’s face when they try to get a very small piece of food on their fork and into their mouth.  Their drunken stagger, fascinated by everything they see.

All in all, it was an awesome 24 hours and I’m so glad Red and TBO trusted us enough with Lala to keep here. She’s an absolute joy- and also the best birth control a girl could ask for.

Jun27

That Can’t Be Comfortable

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It’s been a week between posts and I still have no idea what to write about. Life has been moving at warp speed lately- outings every single night, a 3 day trip to Northern Virginia to love up on my niece (and to see my sister and brother in law too), thinking about various health issues effecting some family members, juggling two different summer camps this week for the kids, working full time, hosting 9 people over for dinner last night.  The list of our craziness could go on and on, but it finally caught up with us tonight when the Bean complained all day of a sore throat and Scorch fell asleep in the car at 3 pm after picking Beaner up from her camp.  We had plans (plans I was so excited for) to go to a BBQ with friends, but I had to simply say no and put my kids to bed early. Like 6:45 early.  They needed it desperately.

But regardless of how tired they are, the kids were not going down without a fight. After putting them to bed, I called one of my oldest friends to catch up. While I was on the phone, Bean came out of her room to tell me how she wasn’t tired. I was washing the dishes, so I told her to go back to bed and didn’t pay attention to what she was doing. About 2 minutes later, I finished up and turned around and found her sound asleep on the kitchen floor.  So much for not being tired.

Jun20

Milestones…

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Scorch has them in spades this week!

First, we had his Kindergarten graduation on Monday night.  This may have been the cutest thing ever with the boys in their shirts and ties and the girls in their party dresses. You could tell the kids (and teachers) put a lot of time into this- there were 5 songs, 3 prayers, some speakers. It was simply amazing!

And tonight Scorch lost his first tooth. This sucker has been loose for over a month- so it’s about darn time. I’ll spare you all the pictures he insisted I take- but the boy is beyond excited! Me? I’m just glad I don’t have to see that baby tooth sitting precariously in this mouth grossing me out at every meal.

There is no way next week can top this one!

Jun19

Daddy Dearest

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Doesn’t seem fair to post about Mother’s Day back in May and not post about Father’s Day, does it?

We got the the Hubs some great gifts for Father’s Day- but the best gift we could have given him was letting him sleep in. So that is what we did- until 9:30. Considering my kids get up at 6 am, that is no small feat! We woke him up with his favorite breakfast (2 doughnuts and a coffee from Tim Hortons- we’re nothing if not healthy!) and gave him his gifts. Scorch made him a beautiful key chain in school- one that’s sitting on our keys right now.  And the Bean? Well, the Bean painted a rock for the Hubs to use as a paper weight. She glued these outrageous long-lashed googly eyes on it and carefully put it in a gift bag for him. But when she took the rock out (because my kids never let anyone open their own presents), one of the eyes fell off. Without missing a beat, she told the Hubs the rock was now a pirate rock that had an eye patch instead of an eye. Perfect.

After going to Mass that morning, we went down to the Hub’s grandparents house for a few hours. Grandpa isn’t doing well- he hasn’t bee doing well for quite some time. He stayed in bed and slept most of the time we were there, but that’s ok. He knew we were there and he knows we love him and sometimes that’s the best gift you can give someone.  The kids spent the time Grandpa was awake telling him stories and keeping up the happy kind of commotion only little kids can bring to a house. And seeing Grandpa is good for them. Unfortunately they won’t really have any memories of him in his prime, but they still know that he’ll listen to them and laugh at their stories. And he’s showing them that illness and dying can be done with grace and that it’s not something to fear- a priceless lesson as far as I’m concerned.

 

After hiking through the property and getting bit by the bugs, it was time to say our goodbyes and head out to my  parents for a BBQ with my Dad. Have I told you all I have the best dad in the world? Because I do (with the exception of the Hubs, of course). My Dad currently plays tennis competitively a few times a week. Do you want to know why he started playing tennis? Because I started playing tennis and he didn’t know how to play- so he figured he’d better learn so we’d have something to talk about. I haven’t picked up a racket in 10+ years, but my old man is crushing it a few times a week.  He also makes me CDs of some of the new (to him) music he’s found- he’s the reason I started listening to Mumford and Sons a few years back. He’s funny and smart and so damn personable it’s impossible to go anywhere with him without either seeing someone he knows or making a new friend.  He’s the Bean’s best buddy- I think she’s rather hang out with her Papa more then just about anyone in the world.  She’s got good taste.

After our time in the pool and eating my parents food, it was time to head back home to put the kiddos to bed. One the way home, the Hubs called his father.  We don’t see my father-in-law as much as I’d like, but he’s an important part of Father’s Day whether he’s here in person or not. After all, he’s the one who taught the Hubs how to be a father. How to raise his kids with love and kindness and fun, but also with respect. He taught the Hubs the importance of being involved- by coaching and being there for dinners and walking his kids into school. The Hubs is one of the best father’s I know, and he learned that all from his Dad.

When I met the Hubs almost 15 years ago now (!!!!), I knew he’s be a good dad. With some guys, you can just tell. But I didn’t know what kind of dad he’d be. Would he be the strong, silent type? The goofball, buddy dad? The involved dad in the dugout or the dad on the sidelines cheering his kids on?  He’s all of those dads- and more. He’s what he needs to be for our kids in any given situation. He’s not perfect (nor am I)- but he’s got the best quality of all. Love- and lots of it.  My kids may not always like us, they may not always agree with us- but they will always, always know they are loved.  And that makes the Hubs the best kind of dad of all.

 

 

 

 

Jun16

Home Invasion

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I may  have done the dumbest thing I’ve ever done today.

After Scorch’s baseball game today, we had plans to go to a friend’s parents house to go swimming.  The Hubs had to work, so it sounded like a perfect way to kill a lovely afternoon. When confirming the plans with my friend, she asked me if I knew where her parents house was. I told her I knew the street name and that it was the 1st or 2nd house on the right. She told me that we’d see her husband’s truck in the drive way along with her parents metallic van.  She said the garage would be open and to come on in if she didn’t answer when we knocked- she would be getting two kids ready for the pool so she may have her hands full.

Can you tell where this is going?

I turn onto her parent’s road and the first house on the right has a pick up truck the same color as her husbands in the driveway and a silver mini-van sitting in the open garage. Perfect- I got the house. I pull in, unload the kids and all our gear and head in through the garage. We knock, wait a minute, knock again and go in. We don’t see or hear anyone after yelling “hello” a few times, so we go to the back of the house thinking they are already in the pool.  Just as we’re looking out the back door, we hear an elderly man yell “hello” up the stairs.  So Scorch goes over to the stairs and yells down hi – but I got panicky because there isn’t supposed to be an elderly man at this home.  Just then, up the stairs comes a couple I’ve never seen before.

We are in the wrong house.

I apologize profusely (all while waiting for the earth to swallow me whole) while, thankfully, the owners of the house laugh and laugh over my idiocy. They could not have been any more gracious as I got my kids out of there as quickly as possible.

When we get outside we see our friends in front of the proper house looking equal parts shocked and hysterical over what I did. In my defense, the neighbors and my friends have nearly identical pickup trucks in the same rather odd color and they and my friends parents have the same van- one gold and one silver.  That said, I don’t care how long I have to wait any more, I’m never, ever letting myself in anyone’s house again until they come to the door.

Ever.

Jun13

Grown Up Talk

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Scorch had a really long day today- his class had a field trip to the local park for 4 hours of fun on the playground, scavenger hunts, games and more. Which means he was a holy mess after school because he was so wiped out.  He was melting down abut something on the drive home, making both the Bean and I nuts.

“Scorch- you’re being ridiculous. Stop crying and chill out.”

“Bean, you’re annoying all the time but you’re really annoying when you act like a grown up. You’re 3, act like it!”

“Only if you stop acting like you’re 2!”

 

Jun12

Sanity Saver: Book Edition

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The other day when we were able the library, I picked up a book on CD for the kiddos on a whim.  The book is Young Fredle and I got it because the cover art was adorable and it was right by the librarian’s desk. The book is about a young house mouse name Fredle who suddenly finds himself outside- where he has to make new friends, find a new home and figure out how best to live.  The book (we’re about half way through) is utterly charming- but best of all, it’s long (about 5 hours give or take).

This, ladies & gentleman, is why my kids no longer fight in the car. My kids are enthralled- they are so busy listening they forget to beat each other up!

Honestly, the book is a little old for them. I found out after I got it that it’s targeted for kids 8 and up and there are some parts that go right over both kids heads (Bean’s especially), but they love listening to it and we find ourselves talking about Fredle a lot even when we’re not in the car.  Scorch is having a lot of fun trying to guess what things Fredle is describing since a house mouse has no words for things like a lawn mower or flowers.  We stop the CD often to talk about words the kids don’t know- like “impenetrable” or “hesitant.”

My impulse grab has turned out to be my best decision in a long time!